


Wingman

by bemoretea



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drama, Humor, M/M, Multiple Relationships, One-Sided Attraction, Pining, Pining Zayn, Romance, it gets a lil sad i guess, larry if you squint really hard, liam is kind of a whore
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-11-01
Updated: 2017-07-19
Packaged: 2018-02-23 13:56:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 23
Words: 42,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2550044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bemoretea/pseuds/bemoretea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Liam’s girlfriend of 2 years breaks up with him, leaving him an absolute pathetic, wreck, so his friends [Niall, Harry, Louis, and Zayn] take it upon themselves to take him out to a club after weeks of solitude.</p><p>While they’re there, Zayn unknowingly helps Liam hook up with a girl, which results in Liam begging Zayn to be his wingman and help him hook up with anyone he deems worthy.</p><p>Zayn agrees [sort of], but unbeknownst to Liam, there’s just a faint problem.</p><p>Zayn is helplessly, irrevocably, and unbelievably in love with Liam.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Prologue

This is Zayn’s life: he lives with Liam Payne, also known as the love of his life, he works at a video game store with one of his best friends named Louis, he hangs out with Louis and his "boyfriend", Harry, and when their constant smooching becomes too much, he invites Niall along with him, which is mostly all the time.

So, he pines over Liam while having to deal with Liam and his girlfriend, Sophia, being all cuddly towards each other since he lives with BOTH of them, until one day he comes in to find Sophia and Liam yelling at one another, resulting in a horrid, and very ugly, break-up.

It isn’t until weeks later, Louis, Harry, Niall, and even Zayn have had it with Liam’s shit and drag him out to a night club.

That’s where Zayn makes the biggest mistake of his life; he helps Liam hook up with a girl without even knowing it, resulting in becoming Liam’s wingman.

Meaning he has to endure having to help Liam have one-night stands with whomever Liam picks out at the many night clubs they go to, all the while Zayn’s in love with him, and Liam has no clue.

Isn’t Zayn’s life great?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit short, but it's the prologue so it's expected.
> 
> Just something new from me, hope you guys enjoy it.


	2. The Intro

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one with the introduction

It’s a Monday afternoon and Zayn stands behind the cash register and watches one of his best friends, Louis, attempt to stack as many video games as he can. The business is slow most of the time, it only gets extremely busy when a new game comes out, and a shitload of people go to pre-order it.

Did Zayn mention he’s a 23-year-old man working in a video game store?

Yeah, he thinks it’s a bit pathetic, too.

His group of friends consist of five people, there’s Niall, who’s also 23 and is quite chill and sensible, he’s always there to help him out whenever Harry and Louis decide to force Zayn into being a third wheel. Harry, as mentioned earlier, is 22 and has a talent of making the stupidest jokes during the worst times to make jokes, the only reason Zayn knows him is because of Louis. Louis is also 23 and has been friends with Zayn since they were both in grade school, he has a tendency to make Zayn do all the work and is only there to be sarcastic and make his own witty comments.

And then there’s Liam.

Kind, hot, and amazing Liam, who Zayn finds irresistible, he and Zayn have been friends for a little over 2 years. Zayn met Liam through Niall since they seemed to know each other as long as Zayn has known Louis, and almost immediately, Zayn was smitten.

He didn’t mean to end up living with Liam, it just kind of happened, with Zayn’s still shit salary, he was poor as fuck and couldn’t afford a flat of his own. He didn’t know where Niall lived (and he doesn’t think anyone else does, really), Harry was (still is) weird, and Louis was (also still is) a dick and didn’t want to share with him, and so Liam offered a spare room he had and Zayn kindly took the offer.

Except when he moved in, he didn’t expect to find Liam’s girlfriend, Sophia, now sharing a room with Liam since Zayn took her old one (it still smells like coconuts and Zayn hates coconuts), to be there as well.

He’s tried to work around the couple, really, tried to switch his hours so that he’d work when Liam was off and was off when Liam worked. It was working fine until Liam noticed and changed his hours so that he could ‘spend quality time with Zayn’. So now he’s forced to watch movies next to Sophia and Liam who always decide the movie is never interesting enough to maintain their attention and make out instead.

And Zayn wants to hate Liam for never telling him that his girlfriend lived with him, which was vital information, but he can’t because Liam is Liam and Zayn loves him.

So every night Zayn sleeps with a frown because he hates where he lives, and it’s really bad on those nights that he can  _hear_ them through the thin walls, he’d rather not get into too much detail with that.

All thoughts are put aside when a loud crash catches Zayn’s attention, he turns to find Louis sitting on the floor with games toppled all over him.

“You can’t behave for  _one_  goddamn second?” Zayn sighs and begins to pick up all of the games knowing full well Louis would never get around to it.

Louis gets up, brushes himself off, and sits on the counter, watching Zayn and  _not_  helping, as always. “Well I’m fucking bored, what do you want me to do?”

Zayn finishes putting the games back and stands back in his usual spot behind the cash register. “Stand there, do nothing, and wait for a customer, like any normal employee would do, would be just fine.”

“Whatever,” Louis mumbles and rolls his eyes. “So, what are you doing after work?”

“Probably gonna drive around town and spend as much time away from my flat.”

Louis, Harry, and Niall know entirely too much about Zayn’s situation with Liam. Zayn’s intention was to keep it to himself, but Louis is Louis and he always finds a way to find out every secret Zayn has, and then proceeds to tell all of his friends.

“You’ve really got to get a hobby, mate, your life sounds dreadful,” Louis says, as honest and blunt as ever. “But since I’m such a wonderful friend, you can hang out with me and Harry again, we’re going bowling.”

He groans, not sure if he’s able to endure another day of trying to find a way into Louis’s and Harry’s own little world again. “Can I invite Niall at least? You didn’t let me invite him last time.”

“What is with this fascination you have for the leprechaun? He’s annoying as fuck, and he’s trying to take you away from me, Zaynie.”

“You’re delusional; I need him since you and your boyfriend—”

“Harry is  _not_  my boyfriend,” Louis interrupts him; it’s the fourth time Zayn called Harry: Louis’s boyfriend, and every single time Louis interrupts at the right moment to remind Zayn they’re not together and they’re just friends, weird.

“Okay, since you and whatever the fuck Harry is tend to make out and ignore me, leaving me an awkward idiot, and Niall is there to relieve me of the shame.”

An angry customer keeps Louis from responding as he storms into the store and walks up to Zayn, slamming a game on to the counter. “You think I’m some fucking idiot or somethin’?”

Zayn rubs the back of his head and counts to ten in his head before answering, “No, sir, what seems to be—”

“Then why the fuck is your shitty store selling me this scratched up piece of shit you call a game?!” he shouts, making sure to emphasize his anger by slamming the game on the counter again.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir, we don’t—”

The man throws his hands up in the air and waves them around, almost smacking Zayn in the face, and lets out a frustrated groan. “Don’t pull that bullshit on me! You know what you did, I came here last week to buy this game, and I find it all fucking scratched up and not working, no doubt you faggots were fucking around and fucked up my game disc. I want a refund.”

Louis steps in just in time and glares at the middle-aged man. “Hi, I’m the one who sold you that, what the fuck do you want?”

The man falters a bit before regaining his previous angry state. “I want my goddamn money back.”

“Listen here, shit head, I find it so fucking hilarious that it took you a whole week to find out the game was ‘broken’ and it’s a goddamn riot that you think  _we_ broke it when you bought it obviously unopened. I’ve gotta hand it to you, mate, you’ve got a lot of nerve showing up here and shouting all this bullshit in order to receive money for a game that you probably broke. Now, I’m only going to tell you this once, alright? Get the fuck out of here and go back to wanking off to a bunch of 13-year-old girls’ pictures on Instagram, you piece of shit pervert.” Louis now stood in front of the man, arms crossed, and a menacing glare still adorning his face.

There’s nothing but silence before the man scoffs and takes the game back, he mumbles a ‘this isn’t over’ before storming out of the store and leaving a triumphant Louis behind.

Zayn rubs his eyes, hoping Louis scared him off and he doesn’t come back complaining to their boss. “Wanking off to 13-year-olds? Really, Lou?”

Louis shrugs and sits on the counter again. “Did he not look like he did that? He was wearing a trench coat for fucks sake, and it’s  _March_. That’s the type of man people see on the street and immediately pull their child closer to them when he walks by.”

At least he left, Zayn thinks, maybe Louis was hired to deflect these types of people from trying to cheat the system.

It wasn’t the first time someone like that nearly gave Zayn an aneurysm, and it certainly wouldn’t be the last.

“Anyway,” Louis continues, trying to change the subject. “As I was saying before, Niall doesn’t really have to come, and you, Harry, and I can…”

Zayn ignores Louis as he continues rambling about how they’ll have a ‘great time’ and probably trying to convince Zayn not to invite Niall.

Between having to live with Liam and Sophia, doing all of Louis’ work, and angry customers threatening to rip Zayn a new one, maybe Louis was right, Zayn’s life is dreadful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you guys like it!


	3. The Break-Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Liam and Sophia break up.

“You know what sucks? Overpriced water at concerts,” Louis rants as he’s walking next to Zayn on the sidewalk.

It’s about 5 o’clock, and Louis and Zayn have just finished their shift; they’re walking towards the bowling alley, planning on meeting up with Harry and Niall.

Zayn just mindlessly nods his head as he pretends to listen to his friend and really just thinks about Liam, something he’s learned to do whenever Louis talks about random shit Zayn couldn’t care less about.

“I mean… It’s like they’re asking us to die of dehydration. They don’t let us bring any shit in so we have to buy their expensive ass water bottles, and we don’t have any goddamn money considering the tickets cost over 200 pounds, so we can’t fucking afford it. They swear their water bottles are filled with God’s tears or some bullshit,” Louis explains, moving his hands around in order to emphasize his frustration.

He tries to listen to Louis, he really does, but all he can focus on are beautiful, brown eyes, and plump, pink lips. He’s so focused on what Liam’s lips would feel like on his own that he doesn’t see a lamp post until he walks right into it, hitting himself right on his forehead.

He winces in pain and glares at Louis who’s fallen over from laughter. “Fuck you, that really hurt,” Zayn complains, rubbing his forehead.

It takes a good four minutes for Louis to stop laughing; he stands back up and brushes himself off. “I would’ve warned you about it, but considering you had been ignoring me the whole damn time, I thought to myself: why can't I have this one thing? Didn’t think you would’ve actually run into it, though, good shit.”

Zayn scoffs and ignores him, thinking it’s best this way before they argue in the middle of the street and someone ends up calling the police  _again_ (long story).

“So what’s got you so pre-occupied that you’ve forgotten how to avoid bumping into lamp posts?” Louis lets out a small giggle near the end and tries to play it off by coughing.

He rolls his eyes and shrugs. “I dunno… the economy?”

“I doubt you even know what that means, imbecile.” Louis pats him on the back, hard, and smirks. “You’re thinking about Liam again, aren’t you? Does he even know you’re gay?”

When Zayn first met Liam, all he talked about was his relationship with Sophia, and Zayn nodding his head along – because that's what Zayn does, he nods his head – caused Liam to assume Zayn understood having 'girlfriend' problems which, in turn, caused Liam to assume Zayn was and still is straight (at least, that’s what Niall told him after Liam spoke to him about meeting Zayn).

Zayn never had the heart to tell him he's actually gay from fear of Liam finding out about Zayn's desperate love for him.

He let out a groan. “No…”

“Oh my god, he doesn’t?! How do you expect to go anywhere with him like that? Zayn, you need to—”

“Look, we’re here!” Zayn exclaims, quickly interrupting Louis and running inside. He spots Harry and Niall and walks up to them, Louis not far behind.

“Hey,” Niall says, already breaking into a smile at the sight of Zayn. He engulfs him in a hug that lasts a bit too long.

Louis has this theory that Niall is helplessly in love with Zayn; he claims that he catches Niall staring longingly at Zayn when he isn’t looking, and he always wants to grab Zayn’s hand at every chance he gets. ‘ _That’s why I hate him,’_ Louis usually says, ‘ _I ship Ziam, not Ziall’._

Zayn just thinks Niall’s overly-friendly; Niall’s probably like that with Liam, too.

Louis has already approached Harry and they’re off in their own little world again, filled with loving glances and lovesick smiles. They could both be that heart-eyed emoji whenever they stare at each other, Zayn spots the resemblance immediately.

It isn’t until Niall asks Zayn why his forehead is red that Louis breaks free of the ‘Larry trance’ and doubles over in laughter again.

Bitch.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Zayn and Niall are walking home together after Louis and Harry ditched them 30 minutes into bowling (Zayn texted Louis about it, proving that Louis really does ditch him which is why he needs Niall around, and all Louis said was ‘no’).

Niall’s smiling and grabs a hold of Zayn’s hand like he always does and grips on to it tightly as Zayn mindlessly walks, thinking about Liam again.

Niall notices and frowns, rubbing his thumb along Zayn’s knuckles. “What’s on yer mind, Zee?”

Zayn sighs and stares at the ground. “I can’t stop thinking about him, Ni. Every time I get home they’re always there, cuddling on the couch and feeding each other fucking chocolate-covered strawberries or some other shit. What if I want chocolate-covered strawberries?”

“I’ll get you some, if you want—”

“That’s not the point!” Zayn exclaims, frustrated, “The point is they’re all lovey dovey, and I have to watch and pretend like everything is perfect when I just want to grab Sophia and… I don’t know, shave her head? Maybe Liam hates bald women…”

Niall keeps his frown and shakes his head. “That’s not right, Zee, what did she ever do to you?”

“She does this shit on purpose, I swear. I sit on the other goddamn couch while they’re cuddled up on the three-seater and Sophia always tells me to sit with them, saying I look ‘lonely’. Bitch, I’ll be lonely if I want… I can’t even say no or else Liam talks to me for about a half an hour, explaining to me why it’s wrong to ‘hurt Sophia’s feelings’,” Zayn mumbles, pouting and cursing Sophia’s name under his breath.

He watches Zayn’s mini-tantrum and smiles, squeezing his hand a bit as they continue walking. “Oh, Zee… Just try and get over Liam; there are plenty of other people out there who’d do anything to be with you.”

Zayn frowns immediately. “I wish I could,” he whispers, his voice barely audible.

Niall pretends he doesn’t hear him and stops in front of Zayn’s apartment complex. “Okay, here’s yer stop.” He gives him a tight hug and kisses the top of his head before letting go and walking away, turning around half-way to give Zayn a bright smile and wave goodbye before disappearing out of Zayn’s sight.

Their apartment is on the 5th floor and as Zayn is climbing the stairs, he’s letting out small grunts of frustration, preparing himself to see Liam and Sophia doing some other couple-y crap that’ll make Zayn want to rip his eyeballs out.

Except he’s sort of surprised as he’s standing in front of his door and is hearing both Sophia and Liam  _shouting_  at each other.

He’s a bit excited and scared, hoping he’ll get a break from seeing them act like a couple for a good week before they speak to each other again, and he’s scared of getting dragged into the middle of it again like last time, somehow they ended up blaming Zayn and Zayn was the one getting ignored.

He walks in and is immediately greeted with Sophia shouting a ‘fuck you’ to Liam.

Well, that’s new.

“You’re always on my case! You never let me do anything anymore, it’s always about  _Liam._  Well I’ve had it!” she shouts, throwing fruits (that Zayn paid for) at Liam.

Zayn tries to sneak past their bickering, and he almost reaches the hall until Liam spots him.

“Zayn!” Liam points at him and beckons him over, which Zayn does, reluctantly. “Tell her she’s crazy, tell her I always let her go out with her friends and that I only check in here and there to make sure she’s  _safe._ ”

“Well, I um—”

“You don’t, Liam.” Sophia stops yelling and returns to her normal, soft tone, except this time she sounds hurt. “You really don’t… And it’s not ‘here and there’, it’s  _all_ the time. We’ve had this same fight before, and you  _promised_  you’d trust me, but you don’t change, and if there’s no trust here, then we shouldn’t be together.”

“What…?” Liam questions, shocked. He and Sophia have fought before, sure, but they’ve never tried to end the relationship.

“I’m sorry,” she says, defeated. “But I’m breaking up with you; it’s for the best.” She grabs her car keys and her bag, heading for the door. “I’ll come back for my things tomorrow…”

She glances back one more time before leaving the room.

There’s an awkward silence as Liam processes everything that has just happened; once he realizes Sophia means business, tears start to fall freely down his cheeks and he lets out a sob.

Zayn frowns and literally feels his heart break at the sight of Liam crying. He goes over to him and reaches out to hug him. “Liam, I’m so sorry—”

Liam pushes him away, and all Zayn can think is  _‘fuck, he’s strong’_  as he slams into the kitchen table (he’s sure Liam doesn’t mean it). Liam’s still crying, trying his hardest to wipe his eyes. “Y-You should’ve stopped h-her… A-Agreed with me, s-something… You’re supposed t-to be my b-best mate.” Liam hiccups and is still trying to wipe away all of his tears, but they continue to fall freely.

Zayn has nothing to say to that; he can feel his own tears start to prick at the corner of his eyes at Liam’s rejection and the fact that the love of his life looks so  _broken_.

Liam just shakes his head and runs to his room, slamming the door shut.

This whole day has been a mess.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> feedback would be awesome, hope you enjoyed it x


	4. The 'Get Liam Out of His Room' Operation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Liam still hasn't left his room.

Zayn has his forehead pressed against the counter, trying to escape reality and refusing to look at anyone or anything.

It has been a few weeks since Liam locked himself in his room, only leaving for work and to use the bathroom. When Sophia had come back for her things, Liam had locked himself in Zayn’s room to avoid seeing her. He remained in Zayn’s room even when Zayn was trying to convince him that Sophia had already left.

Liam must’ve left Zayn’s room during the night while Zayn was asleep on the  _couch_.

It’s incredibly depressing having to endure meals alone, watch movies alone, and just be alone all the time. It has gotten so bad that Zayn had even talked to himself a few times during breakfast (he pretended Liam was an apple and then proceeded to eat him for being so ridiculous).

He’s tried to coax Liam into leaving his room, bribing him with sweets or fast food or even video games, but none of it had worked; he only achieved in getting Liam to say one thing to him, ‘I’ll leave when you get Sophia to be with me again’. And Zayn had actually tried to get Sophia to come back, but when he was preparing himself mentally to talk to her in front of her cousin’s door (where she’s apparently staying temporarily), he could see her in the arms of another man through the window and decided to leave (he thinks it’s best to keep that minor detail from Liam).

He’s out of options and desperate, and he can only bring himself to bang his head against the counter as he reminds himself just how much more shitty the situation has become.

The store’s door opening and closing didn’t even catch his attention (then again, he did text Niall to come visit him a couple of minutes ago, so he’s about 96% sure it’s Niall). He hears footsteps and then feels a presence in front of him as well and gets a good whiff of Niall’s familiar cologne.

Niall sighs as he watches his friend in distress. “Oh, Zee…” He reaches over, grabbing Zayn by the chin and lifts his head up gently, smiling sadly at his upset friend.

“Hi, Ni,” Zayn mumbles, just about ready to live in an alleyway and never interact with anyone ever again.

“Hi, babe,” Niall replies as he cups Zayn’s cheek and gently rubs it with his thumb, staring deeply into Zayn’s hazel eyes.

Zayn leans into Niall’s touch, enjoying the extra attention that no one ever seems to give Zayn, and sighs happily. Zayn knows this is Niall’s own way of comforting Zayn; he’s never comfortable speaking of Liam and Zayn’s situation (probably since they’re both his best friends, and he doesn’t want to end up having to choose sides, Zayn assumes). He would only listen and add a few comments when Zayn would rant his frustrations away, letting him know when Zayn was in the wrong.

They remain like that for a few seconds, until a door slamming shut is heard followed by light, running footsteps and then Louis is appearing out of nowhere, karate chopping Niall’s arm.

Niall winces and pulls his arm away immediately, rubbing it where Louis hit him. “Jesus, what was that for?”

Louis smirks and crosses his arms, standing in front of Zayn. “Hasn’t your mum ever taught you to keep your hands to yourself?”

Niall’s still rubbing his arm as he glares at the floor and mumbles, “I could ask you the same thing,  _ouch._ ”

“Ha. Ha. Aren’t you a witty shithole? Besides, you deserved that,” Louis snaps at him as he turns around and faces Zayn, trying to ignore Niall.

“Why the hell do you hate me so much?” Niall asks.

Louis opens his mouth, about to respond, until someone kicks the store’s door open, harshly, and all of them snap their heads over to look.

It’s Harry stumbling his way in, holding two cups of coffee, and what Zayn imagines to be a bag of donuts being held by his mouth. He walks up to the counter and gives one of the coffees to Louis while dropping the bag on the counter. “Sorry for the door, I didn’t know how else to come in, and I knocked, like, four times.”

“You could’ve used your back to open the door, too, you know…?” Zayn mentions, raising his eyebrow at the weird specimen they called Harry.

Harry stares at him blankly for a few seconds before he quickly changes the topic. “So what are we talking about?”

“I’m wonderin’ why Louis hates me.” Niall points his finger at Louis and then motions towards his arm. “He karate chopped me arm.”

“Oh, shut up, you big cry baby. So, apparently Liam has kept himself locked tightly in his room, and Zayn hasn’t even seen his face in a couple weeks, what’s that about?” Louis says, obviously wanting to change the topic.

“What the fuck, Lou?” Zayn pinches Louis’s arm, hard, for changing the topic to something Zayn doesn’t really want to discuss with a crowd and gets smacked in the forehead in retaliation from Louis (maybe he should’ve just glared).

Louis rolls his eyes. “What? This is something that should be discussed; it’s quite the serious issue, and Liam’s our friend, too.”

Harry nods his head, taking out a donut and biting into it. “M’surprised you’ve kept your cool toward him this long, Zaynie; I would’ve sent an angry e-mail,” Harry says, mouth filled with donut.

Zayn shrugs, giving into the discussion because he clearly can’t go anywhere else since he’s at work. “I’ve just been picturing Liam as an apple and eating him as a coping mechanism.”

“Really?” Harry asks, finishing his donut and taking a sip of his coffee. “I would’ve pictured him as a banana because, you know…. He has a big penis.”

Niall, Zayn, and Louis all turn to him with looks of such disappointment on their faces; he always had a terrible timing of saying the worst jokes, every single time.

“What? At least that’s what Sop—someone told me…” he says; he leans over into Louis’s ear and whispers rather loudly, “Are we supposed to say Sophia’s name?”

Zayn smacks his forehead and sighs. “I can hear you, Harry.”

Harry shrugs. “No one told you to listen,” he mumbles behind his coffee.

“Anyway… Something has to be done about this since Zayn is useless and can’t even get Liam out of his room for a small meal. What's the plan, lads?” Louis asks, ignoring Zayn’s menacing glare.

“I’ve tried textin’ him, callin’ him, and he doesn’t respond, so I say all four of us just march into his and Zayn’s flat and try t’ barge in,” Niall suggest, rubbing his chin in thought.

Louis sips his coffee and nods his head in approval. “Not bad, leprechaun, c’mon, let’s go, I’ve got nothing to do,” he says as he makes a way toward the door, Niall and Harry following closely behind.

“Louis, we have a fucking job to do.” Zayn stays put behind the counter and wonders why Louis hasn’t lost his job yet; it’s something he thinks about a lot to himself, that and Liam.

“So we close it up for a few minutes, what’s the big deal? It’s not like we’re ever busy, and besides, would you rather Liam open his door to your stunning face, or,” Louis starts and then nods his head over at Harry. “Would you rather Liam open his door to Harry trying to explain why Liam is a banana due to some… rather large body parts.”

Zayn sighs in defeat and follows them out of the door, locking the store up and turning the sign to ‘close’, before they all make their way toward Zayn’s apartment.

When they reach the inside, they all immediately march towards Liam’s room, Zayn following reluctantly behind.

Louis’s the first to make himself known as he pounds on the door and tries to open it. “Leeyuum, I know you’re in there. Zayn has told us about your recent depression, let us in, you shit.”

Niall rolls his eyes and moves in front of Louis, blocking the door. “Way to be gentle,” he remarks. “Li, c’mon, we’re worried about ya, just open the door, yeah?”

“Open the door, it’s Dominos!” Harry comments, trying to help, but failing utterly.

Louis grabs a hold of Zayn’s wrist and shoves him toward the door, as he shoves himself as well and tries to open it by forcing himself against it, trying to push it open. Niall and Harry take notice and try to do the same thing so that all three of them are trying to push it open while Zayn just stands against the door.

They obviously don’t want to do the whole ‘ram into the door’ thing from fear of hurting themselves, so they’re doing the next best thing.

The door unlocking and opening doesn’t register into their brains until they’re all plummeting to the floor, hurting each other in the process.

Liam’s staring at them on the floor, wearing a tank top and pajama pants, his eyes are bloodshot and his cheeks are red and puffy.

They all groan in unison, and Louis’s the first to bounce back on to his feet as he lays a hand on Liam’s shoulder. “We’re here for you, mate.”

Niall gets up and grabs both of Zayn’s hands and helps him up onto his feet as Harry stays on the floor, staring at his spilled coffee with a tear in his eye.

“He’s right, Li, why won’t you let us help you?” Niall asks, frowning at the fact that Liam won’t let him be a best friend.

“Because I’m helpless!” Liam explains, shoving his face into his hands. “I can’t do anything without thinking about her. Every time I look at any one of you, it just brings back memories, and it  _hurts_.”

They all sit on Liam’s bed, Niall patting Liam’s back and Louis running his hands through his hair. Zayn just watches, standing up, and Harry is still on the floor.

“There, there,” Louis says, frowning. “You’ve got to let her go; this isn’t good for you, mate, you’re only destroying yourself while she’s off living her life.”

“How a-am I supposed t-to let h-her go…?” Liam asks, hiccupping as he begins to feel himself cry again.

Zayn turns around, not being able to see Liam cry again, and he tries to block out Liam’s heartbreaking sob, but it doesn’t really work, a part of him still breaks.

Louis notices this and looks at Zayn sadly before returning his attention toward Liam. “You know what? You need to go out, have fun, and remind yourself what it’s like to be single again. So, that’s what we’re doing tonight.”

Liam lays back in bed, rubbing his face. “But… I d-don’t want to…”

“If you don’t, m’tellin’ everyone what happened in 6th grade,” Niall mentions, smiling and trying to pick up the current depressing mood.

Liam chuckles lightly at this, looking over at Niall. “You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.” Niall smirks, looking at Liam with nothing but determination.

Liam sighs and stares up at the ceiling, thinking about all of the pros and cons, before he just gives in and tries to be happy for at least one night. “Alright, fine, I’m in.”

Zayn’s still facing away from them, trying to kick Harry back to life as Louis gets up and rubs his hands together, a smirk playing on his lips. “Great! I know just the place.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, guys. I hope you enjoy it, it kinda sucks lol.


	5. The Accidental Wingman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Zayn accidentally helps Liam get laid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the late update, idk if you guys like this story or not lol, hope you enjoy

Zayn patiently waits outside of Liam’s room, leaning against the doorway, as he watches Liam carelessly throw a load of clothes out of his closet. The rest of the gang had agreed on going out and left to go get changed; Zayn’s usually the one who takes forever to get ready (usually looking for something that could somehow manage to catch Liam’s attention), but here he is, standing in a tight, long-sleeved gray shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, skinny jeans, and some grey high-tops he managed to find, watching Liam fish through a mountain of clothes.

“Zayn, I have nothing to wear; I should stay home,” Liam explains, giving up and collapsing on to his bed.

Zayn shakes his head and sighs; Louis would kill him if Liam ends up locking himself in his room again. He walks in and looks through some clothes before picking out a white shirt and Liam’s leather jacket, that Zayn somehow inspired Liam to get, and gives it to him. “Just go with something simple, yeah?”

Liam looks at the clothes for a second before shrugging his shoulders and taking his shirt off… right in front of Zayn. Zayn can automatically feel his cheeks heat up as he scans over Liam’s toned body and his huge biceps. He quickly hands Liam the clothes before briskly leaving the room, fighting the urge to look back and stare at Liam until his eyes fall out.

It only takes a few minutes before Liam’s emerging from his room, looking as gorgeous as he manages to look every single day. Liam raises his eyebrow as he stands in front of Zayn, his arms crossed. “Sorry about taking my shirt off, didn’t think you’d feel that uncomfortable with the male body. I get it, you’re into tits.”

“N-No, it’s not that,” Zayn quickly interjected, “It’s just… I had… g-gas?” And then Zayn realizes what he says when Liam gives him the most disturbed look ever. “Like, a burp… not a far—you know what, are you excited for tonight?”

Liam sighs and sits on the couch next to Zayn (and Zayn mentally curses when he feels Liam’s knee pressed tightly against his own). “To be honest, mate, not really. It just all feels a bit… too soon, y’know? I swear I was just with her yesterday, and now I feel like if I get drunk, I’ll just be the sobbing mess that everyone will want to take the piss out of.”

Zayn’s about to respond before his text alert goes off and he reads his recent text.

**_9:40 pm From: Nialler :) x_ **

_come on out babe we’re waitin_

“Well, they’re here; we should head out,” Zayn says, getting up and heading out the door with Liam nodding and following in suit.

They reach the club in a matter of minutes and it isn’t until they’re inside that Zayn remembers why he despises going to clubs. He looks around the mainly dark place – only illuminated here and there by strobe lights – that is filled to the brim with people, the place reeking of alcohol and sweat, and already wants to go home. He brushes the hair off of his forehead and reminds himself that he’s here for Liam to get better as heads deeper into the club with Louis, Liam, Harry, and Niall right by him.

It’s almost as if it’s every man left for themselves as Harry grips Louis’s wrist and runs off with him and Liam goes into the corner of the club, isolating himself from the rest. It’s only him and Niall left and Niall smiles at him sweetly, waiting for Zayn to choose something for them to do.

“You can go have fun, y’know? You don’t have to always be with me,” Zayn explains, motioning toward the entire place for Niall to go do something.

“I know,” Niall starts, shrugging his shoulders, “But I like to be with you.”

He rolls his eyes and nudges Niall’s shoulder. “Just go have fun, yeah? I’d rather be alone for now.”

“Y’sure?”

Zayn nods and Niall takes a deep breath before disappearing into a crowd of people. Zayn heads toward the bar, knowing that’s probably where he’ll spend the rest of the night and sits on a barstool, ordering a drink.

He’s sipping on his drink when a girl stumbles into the stool next to him, shouting something to the bartender that Zayn can’t really hear over the loud, boisterous music. He examines her, a red-head with an extremely short dress on that’s practically the tightest clothing Zayn has seen, and that’s saying a lot considering he’s seen Harry in skinny jeans.

He receives his second drink when Liam comes over and takes it from his grip. “Thanks, I’m gonna be needing it more than you, promise,” he says as he saunters off toward Niall to talk with him, Zayn assumes.

“Who was that?” the girl asks, a small smirk playing at her lips; she has an American accent, so Zayn guesses she won’t be in London for long.

“A friend of mine,” Zayn says casually, nodding toward the bartender to give him another drink.

“Hm, he seems really sad, like, it’s a club, y’know, just have fun.” She giggles toward the end and Zayn wants to slam his head against the counter from her stupid voice.

“Well, his girlfriend just broke up with him. He’s taking it kind of harsh, yeah? So…”

She gasps and pouts, placing her hand over her heart. “Oh, that poor thing. Is this his first time out since the break-up?”

“Yeah, pretty much, hasn’t really been himself lately. But I think a nice time out and about should help; he deserves to be happy, he’s a really great guy.” He sighs and looks over at Liam who’s still having a chat with Niall.

“Oh my god, really? He’s really hot, too…” she mentions as she turns to look at him as well.

“Yeah,” Zayn sighs dreamily before he notices the girl giving him a strange look and shakes his head out of his trance. “I mean, if I were a girl, I’d say the same thing…”

“What’s his name? I hope it’s something cute.”

Of course his name is cute, everything about Liam is cute, Zayn thinks to himself. “His name’s Liam.”

“You know what? I’m going to go talk to him,” she states, chugging down the rest of her drink and getting up, fixing her dress.

“Wait, what?” Zayn asks, he has no intention of helping Liam getting laid; in fact, that is the exact opposite of what Zayn wanted to happen.

“See ya! Thanks for the details,” she exclaims as she heads over to Liam and interrupts Liam’s conversation with Niall.

There’s no possible way Liam would get with her anyway, she seems a bit too trashy in Zayn’s opinion. But none of that seems to matter as Zayn watches, dumbfounded, as the girl leads Liam to the dance floor and Liam happily obliges.

The rest of the night’s uneventful, and Zayn finds himself standing outside at 2 in the morning, wanting to go home. So, he texts Niall, and Niall, of course, rushes out to give him a ride; he’s upset, to say the least, that he hasn’t seen Liam for the rest of the night (Harry and Louis, too, but he thinks that’s a good thing considering the endless (dirty) possibilities they could be doing alone). And all he can think about before falling asleep is that red-head leading him to the dance floor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It’s the next morning and Zayn’s awake, eating cereal; he doesn’t remember Liam coming home last night, but he woke up to see Liam’s door closed, meaning he is in fact home. He just hopes Liam didn’t cause too much trouble last night.

He plasters on his best smile as he hears a door creak open, expecting Liam and ready to ask him how his night went, but his smile immediately vanishes when he sees the same red haired girl entering the kitchen, shoes in hand and same tight dress on.

She squeals and hugs Zayn, pulling away and planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek. “Your roommate is fucking  _a_ -mazing in bed, give this to him for me, will you?”

And Zayn can only watch, jaw dropped, as she hands him a piece of paper with her number scribbled on to it, and she literally  _skips_ out of their apartment. He glares at the paper before ripping it to shreds and tossing it into the bin.

Minutes later Liam’s emerging from his room, hair messed up and no shirt on, and Zayn swears he can hear his heart skipping beats as he stares at Liam in all of his post-s’e’x glory.

“Hey,” he says, smiling, “Did she leave anything for me?”

“Uh…”

“Eh, it’s alright, don’t wanna see much of her anymore anyway.” He sits down next to Zayn and his smile grows wider. “I don’t know how to thank you, mate, what you did was amazing. I can’t even pick women up like that for other lads.”

 _‘It wasn’t intentional_ ’ Zayn grumbles to himself.

“So… I was hoping you’d be my wingman, y’know, for other nights?” Liam asks, pulling his best puppy-dog eyes out.

“Liam, I don’t know… I’m not really—”

Liam immediately pulls Zayn close and hugs him tightly, and Zayn has to refrain from having an asthma attack because  _shirtless_  Liam is hugging him. “I know you know how happy this would make me, and you know I need this…”

And the guilt settles in Zayn; he’s 100% sure he can’t decline the offer since Liam is the only person who can’t receive a no from Zayn. “I mean… I guess I’ll—”

“Fuck, Zayn, you’re a saint! Thank you!” Liam exclaims as he buries his head in Zayn’s neck.

So Zayn just enjoys the love of his life hugging him because it’s the first time Liam’s actually hugged him without it being a ‘bro pat on the back’ type of thing. And Zayn hates Liam even more now (except he doesn’t really, he’s still hopelessly  _in love_  with him) because Liam’s forced him into helping him hook-up with  _other_  people, as if tolerating Sophia wasn’t enough.

And he just feels royally fucked.


	6. The Gay Club

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Liam drags Zayn to a gay club.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for updating late; this is a sort of filler into the many adventures of Zayn as a wingman lol, it's sort of crap, hope you guys enjoy it anyway x.

Parking in front of the store, Zayn can already see an angry Louis throwing what seemed to be coins at a cowering Niall – who’s standing in the corner of the store, trying to dodge the coins, but failing to do so – and Harry’s only encouraging it by cheering Louis on and giving him his own coins.

He sighs, already expecting to be put in the middle and forced to pick a side. He walks in and is confronted by the three men in an instant, getting shouted at while their fingers point in every direction.

“Would you lads mind shutting the fuck up?!” Zayn exclaims over their shouting; they all quiet down and look at Zayn expectantly. “What the hell happened?”

“Niall called me a cunt!” Louis shouts, attempting to shove Niall, but failing utterly when Niall moves aside, and he falls towards the floor; Harry tries to catch his arm, but only gets dragged down with him, bumping into Zayn and knocking him over as well.

“See?!” Louis argues from the floor, “He’s like a plague; we’re all going to die with that evil leprechaun around.”

Niall gasps and places his hand over his heart while helping Zayn up with his other hand. “Ouch, that stings, Lou.”

Louis gets up and glares at Niall. “You deserve it, evil prick.”

“Okay, okay,” Zayn intervenes, “Can’t you two get along for, like, at least a day? It’s been non-stop fighting between you both since the day you’ve met.”

“He always starts it, Zaynie. I can’t help it; he’s a right twat, that’s what he is,” Niall grumbles while hiding behind Zayn, expecting Louis to reach over and use violence like he always does.

“You called me a cunt!”

“Ye smacked me in the back of me head!”

Louis’s seething now, and Harry’s trying with all his might to hold the little ball of fury back. “You fucking deserved it, god damn wanker!”

“All I said was that the store was empty!”

"You said it rudely; you fucking disgrace—”

“I’m Liam’s wingman,” Zayn blurts out, quickly covering his mouth when Niall and Louis stop to look over at him, shocked.

“What, you mean, like, you help him fly and stuff?” Harry asks, not understanding why everyone’s so shocked.

And for the millionth time, all three of them look at Harry with disappointment in their eyes, before Louis sighs and explains, “No, Haz, a wingman is someone who helps one of their mates get laid by convincing other people they’re the shit.” He then turns to Zayn and shakes his head. “Meaning the complete opposite of confessing your long-time love to them.”

Zayn shrugs, “It sorta happened; I can’t help it.”

“So… Now yer gonna help Liam out, even though it’s gonna hurt ya?” Niall questions, eyes filled with concern.

“I mean… It’s not that bad?” Zayn tries to convince them with a smile, but Louis and Niall can see right through his façade.

“Zee,” Niall starts, grabbing both of Zayn’s hands and gripping them tightly, staring at Zayn with pleading eyes, “Please, just tell the lad yer backin’ out; save yerself from the heartache.”

“It’s already a done deal, Niall. I don’t want to upset him; besides, he’s still hurting from the break-up. He needs this.” He takes his hands out of Niall’s grip. “Nothing any of you lot say will change my mind about this.”

“What if we bribe you?” Harry suggests.

“No.”

“Blackmail you?”

“Jesus— No, Harry.”

“Threaten you?”

“Harry, shut up.”

“Tell you bad jokes until you change your mind?”

Zayn, Niall, and Louis’s eyes all widen as they all shout in unison, “No!”

Harry smirks and rubs his hands together. “Knock knock!”

Louis’s hand finds its way to his forehead as he smacks it in aggravation. “We are not doing this again, Haz.”

“That’s not what you’re supposed to say,” Harry mentions before repeating himself, “Knock knock.”

And just as Louis is about to give in and play along with Harry’s jokes, a customer walks in, instantly gaining Louis’s attention.

Niall faces Zayn, giving him his attention. “So, ya both going out again tonight?”

“I think so; he seemed excited before I left for work.”

“I still don’t like this, Zee. Just… Call me if ya need an escape, yeah?” Niall offers with a frown.

Zayn nods his head, offering Niall a small smile.

“Where’s he takin’ ya this time?”

Zayn shrugs his shoulders as his mind ponders about all the clubs and bars he lives nearby. “I’m not too sure.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“L-Liam… Is this a…” Zayn trails off as he sees the name ‘The Shadow Lounge’ in bright, bold letters.

“A gay club?” Liam finishes, looking over at Zayn with the biggest smile and with excitement contained in those wide, brown eyes that Zayn loved way too much. “Yep, it is; I hope it isn’t a problem, y’know, with you being straight and all.”

“I just didn’t know… You know, that you…” Zayn bites his lip, trying his hardest to find the words to say without seeming like a judgmental prick.

“I like to keep my options open, not a fan of labels, I guess,” Liam explains before grabbing Zayn’s wrist and dragging him inside the building.

The club was filled to the brim with people; everyone was smiling and having a great time, unlike the club Zayn experienced the last night, where two people got into a fight just because someone stepped on the other’s shoe; it has a good vibe to it, Zayn will admit.

Liam immediately goes to join in the crowd while Zayn, once again, stays at the bar and waits for Liam to come tell him who he wants Zayn to work his ‘wingman magic’ on; only this time, since he drove here, he’s forced to avoid alcohol, and the night is already shit.

The night drags on, and Liam has yet to come up to him to ask for his assistance, and Zayn’s honestly relieved. It’s nearing 3, and there’s a slight possibility that Liam could be leaving alone, not finding someone who catches his eye. He’s eager to leave; he’s been hit on 6 times – he’s been keeping count – and three of the guys mentioned he’d make a perfect ‘bottom bitch’ resulting in Zayn blushing intensely while saying ‘me no speaky ingles’ with the fakest accent known to man. Zayn assumes they all see right through his foreign façade, but they leave him alone anyway, thankfully.

He gets up, ready to tell Liam he’s got work in the morning and that he’s tired, but then Liam is rushing up to him and eagerly grips Zayn by the shoulders.

“I found him, Zayn!” Liam exclaims, smiling brightly.

“Who?”

Liam turns around, scanning the area before he points towards a tallish, brunet, who isn’t too muscly like Liam nor too scrawny like Zayn. “Him! Go do your thing, babe!”

Zayn can’t help but blush at the nickname before he’s shoved towards the man’s direction; he hesitantly continues walking before he reaches him and gently taps his shoulder to take his attention away from the guy he was talking to.

“Hi there,” he says, a smirk playing at his lips.

“Um, hi,” Zayn says awkwardly, rubbing the back of his head. This whole wingman thing is a lot easier when he doesn’t realize he’s doing it.

“Can I help you?”

Zayn fishes his brain for anything clever to say, to capture this man’s attention and lead him to taking a liking towards Liam, but all he can blurt out is, “Mah name’s Zen.”

“Cool, name’s Trevor,” he replies, frowning at Zayn’s awkwardness. “Listen… I know you’re probably new to this whole ‘hitting on people’ thing, but I’m just gonna have to save you the trouble, mate. I’m into lads who are… How do I put this? More in the muscle area? No offense, yeah?”

Wow, offense taken regardless of what you say you egotistical— Zayn interrupts his thoughts and sees it as an opportunity to mention Liam. “Yeah? Well, me, too. In fact… I tried that really fit guy over there.” He nods over to Liam before continuing, “Gorgeous arms on that one, but he’s into taller, brunets, and I—” he interrupts himself to point at his hair and point out his height, “am not either of those. You might have a chance, though; doubt you could pull a guy like him, though,” Zayn teases.

It seems to work as ‘Trevor’ chugs down his drink and smirks at Liam. “Oh yeah? Watch and learn, pretty boy.”

And Zayn can only watch as Trevor practically throws himself at Liam while Liam’s smile widens; Trevor doesn’t seem like he’s going to back out now that he’s trying to prove something to Zayn. Tears prick at the corner of Zayn’s eyes.  _It’s just a phase; it’s for Liam’s happiness_ , Zayn has to remind himself, forcing down any tears that threaten to fall. They hit it off and within a matter of half of an hour, Trevor’s dragging Liam out of the door; that’s Zayn’s cue to leave.

He drives home and as soon as he steps inside of Liam’s and his apartment; he can hear Trevor and Liam already f’ucking. He still hears them through the thin walls inside of his room, and is disappointed, to say the least, that he j’erks off to the sound of Liam’s moans before he falls asleep.


	7. The Baking Failure & Pizza Parlor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where Zayn and Liam attempt to bake (sort of).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii just wanna say thanks for the support, hope you enjoy x

“Zayn, get your lazy arse up,” Liam demands, slapping Zayn’s bum and heading towards the kitchen where Zayn should’ve been an hour ago.

Zayn suppresses the squeak that’s begging to get out of his mouth at Liam’s hand on his own bum; his cheeks heat up without fail, and he feels a bit of a twitch  _down there_.

Okay, okay, think about sad things. The cat that’s always outside across the street - cold and hungry - even when it’s raining, Augustus Waters’ death and Hazel Graze’s eulogy, the Backstreet Boys breaking up.

Surprisingly enough, it works. He hesitantly gets up and shuffles over towards the kitchen, where he sees Liam wearing a batman apron, hands on his hips, and staring at a bunch of baking supplies.

Whenever all of them had the same day off, they’d take the opportunity to bake cookies or brownies and have a mini-slumber party in their apartments. They’d take turns in who’d have to bake next and host the slumber party; sometimes it’d be at Louis’s apartment, and sometimes it’d be at Harry’s (Niall never got to host one because no one knows where the fuck he lives).

Sophia and Liam had always been in charge of baking the fresh goods; Sophia always took over and made some pretty fantastic brownies, Zayn hates to admit (Harry’s were better, but Zayn honestly believes Harry puts four pounds of sugar into the shit he bakes because Zayn would get this horrible sugar rush afterward ((Louis buys the baked goods and doesn’t even try to hide the evidence anymore)).

It’s the first time they’re doing it without Sophia, so Zayn actually has to help this time, even though he’s incredibly busy (and by busy, he means he just got the new Pokémon game and got his first gym badge).

“Please tell me you secretly bake sometimes, and that you know how to do…” Liam motions towards all the baking supplies in front of him. “Well, this.”

“I make a mean toast.”

Liam huffs in frustration as he stares at the box of brownie mix solemnly. “There’s a machine that does that for you; that doesn’t count.”

“I time it perfectly so that it doesn’t come out burnt or just being warm bread,” Zayn argues.

“That’s not very useful here, Zaynie.” Liam rubs his eyes and sits on the floor in defeat.

Zayn decides to take the spot next to him and shrugs his shoulders. “We could just go buy ‘em, yeah? Lou does it all the damn time, and no one gives a shit.”

“But no one says anything because it’s Louis; I don’t want to be a Louis!”

He merely rolls his eyes and takes his phone out, googling how to make brownies and cookies. “Let’s just work off of the instructions they give here, yeah?”

Liam scrunches his nose up in protest, but he doesn’t have any better ideas so he just gets up and heads over to the bowl containing flour. Zayn gets up as well and opens the box containing the brownie mix, sniffing it as if it were some foreign object. He’s exchanging looks from his phone and the brownie mix, wondering how on earth both of them instruct him to do entirely different things.

Liam’s smirking by now, a hand full of flour. To hell with this, he moves a little closer to Zayn and chucks the flour at Zayn’s face, laughing at how it coats only half of Zayn’s face so that the other half is completely clean ‘Two-face’ he thinks to himself, ‘like Batman’.

As soon as the flour hits him, Zayn yelps, and his immediate response is to throw whatever he has in his hands at Liam. And so he does, and his eyes blow wide as soon as the box makes contact with Liam’s forehead, a small smack sound resonating around the room, the box now on the floor with its content pouring on to the floor.

He’s about to apologize until Liam rushes out of the kitchen, and Zayn hears a door slam.

 _Fuck, fuck, fuck – I hurt him,_ Zayn immediately thinks.

He makes his way over to Liam’s room and knocks softly. “Li? I, uh… I’m sorry I hit you with the box, wasn’t on purpose, swear.” No response is heard and Zayn grows more worried. “Li?”

Except Zayn realizes Liam isn’t in there when he’s being pelted over and over again by something. He turns around and finds Liam with his nerf gun, shooting aimlessly at him while grinning widely (the nerf gun was given to him by Louis; it was already used and so were the darts that came with it in a bag Louis all put it in. There was a sticky note attached to it saying ‘For whenever Sophia and Liam are being obnoxiously loud, and you want revenge’; Zayn ripped it up as soon as he saw it and stuffed the bag in his closet where it stayed, forgotten. How Liam knows about it, he has no idea). Zayn covers his face and shrinks on to the floor as each dart is pelting him.

“Liam, fucking—”

Liam tosses the now-empty nerf gun aside and runs away like a madman. Zayn rushes to get up and chase after him, but as he turns the corner in the hall, Liam’s nowhere in sight.

How the fuck? Their apartment isn’t event that big. Did Liam climb through the fucking vents?

His thoughts are interrupted when he opens the bathroom door, and there's Liam, smiling madly at him as he leaps forward and tackles Zayn to the ground. Zayn lets out a (very regretful) scream, and Liam only ‘oofs’ as the two fall towards the floor. Liam has his hand under Zayn’s head, to protect it from the fall, and Zayn would honestly coo at that if it weren’t for the awkward position they were in. Liam’s on top of him, literally in between his legs, and their faces are incredibly close.

His thoughts are immediately taken over by the many dirty dreams he has sometimes during the night, and oh god, his jeans are getting impossibly tight.

Backstreet boys breaking up, Backstreet boys breaking up.

None of that seems to help as Liam stares into Zayn’s eyes, as if he were in some sort of trance, his gaze looking back and forth between Zayn’s hazel eyes and Zayn’s lips.

Zayn gulps, feeling his cheeks become warm, and he’s just thanking his parents for letting him be tan. Liam leans in ever so hesitantly until their lips are only an inch apart; he can feel Liam’s minty breath against his lips, and he honestly believes Liam can feel his heartbeat racing erratically (and quite possibly the hard-on he’s sporting).

He’s so close to feeling Liam’s lips for the first time until someone bursts through the door. “Where the fuck are you lads?!” Louis yells, of course it’s Louis (he’s going to ignore him for a week for that).

Liam’s eyes grow wide as if he suddenly realizes what he’s doing, and Liam leaves so quickly it makes Zayn a little dizzy (and cold, Liam’s warm).

“Hey!” he hears Liam exclaim, probably to the now-arriving guests.

Zayn sits up and rubs face. So fucking close. He gets up and makes sure to wash his face before he slowly makes his way to the living room where Niall, Harry, and Louis are standing, looking around for the cookies and brownies that were never made.

“Um, so, yeah… Zayn and I can’t bake for shit… Who wants pizza?” Liam asks sheepishly.

It’s quiet before Louis shrugs and heads out of the door. “I was fucking tired of those damn sweets anyway. Liam’s paying!”

Zayn smiles weakly at Liam, and Liam only ignores him as he grabs his coat and follows Louis out of the door. Niall notices the interaction and wraps an arm around Zayn, rubbing his arm and smiling reassuringly at him.

They all make their way over to the familiar pizza parlor they go to from time-to-time. They sit in the far corner where they usually do, and they slide into the booth, Louis and Harry sitting on one side, Zayn and Niall sitting on the other, while Liam brings up a chair and sits by the end of the table.

They’re eating the same pepperoni pizza they always get in a comfortable silence. “I bet you don’t know how pizza’s made,” Harry states, smirking at the rest of them.

“M’pretty sure everyone knows how it’s made, Harry,” Niall responds, eyebrow raising in question.

“Oh.”

Liam keeps on looking over his shoulder somewhere, and Zayn doesn’t fail to notice that he’s looking at a girl who’s smirking a him and blinking flirtatiously at him, her obsessively, long, fake eyelashes brushing her cheeks.

Liam pats Zayn’s shoulder and gains his attention; Liam only winks. “Don’t hafta help me with this one, mate. Seems like I’ve got this one wrapped up.” He pats Zayn’s shoulder one more time before heading over to the girl and chatting her up.

And Zayn feels his heart plummet; he was genuinely starting to believe Liam could possibly have a thing for him after the almost-kiss they shared. But all of that was just some lie he wanted to believe so badly; Zayn got the message, Liam didn’t feel anything for him, and what happened in the aparment was just some giant mistake.

The tears sprung all too quickly at the corner of Zayn’s eyes as he sees Liam guiding the girl by the small of her back out of the pizza parlor. He couldn’t stop them like he normally could, so he hastily got up, mumbling an ‘excuse me’ before rushing out of the door.

Niall immediately stands up and chases after him; his own sadness etched onto his face.

Louis bites his lip and clenches his fist. Fucking Liam, he’s always screwing Zayn over, and he knows something could happen between them. It’s just Liam who’s the problem right now.

“So… Is Liam gonna come back and pay?”

Dammit, Harry.


	8. The Girl With The Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where the girl Liam's trying to get with has a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another updatee, hope you guys like it and don't absolutely hate this story

It’s been an entire week since Zayn stormed out of the pizza parlor. Niall tried to cheer him up **,** but Zayn merely brushed him off as he went to go spend the next five hours at the park (Zayn’s never good at ‘talking about his feelings’, anyway).

He’s ignored Liam since then, and he can hear Liam shuffling on the other side of his bedroom door as he’s lying on his bed, staring at his ceiling.

He knows it’s stupid, ignoring Liam, considering Liam has absolutely no idea that Zayn’s madly in love with him, but he just can’t help it. He can’t look at Liam without remembering the fact that the feeling of love and want he has for him will never be reciprocated.

So he stays in his bed no matter how many times Liam knocks on his door until he hears it.

_Sniffling._

And sniffling only means one thing: Liam’s crying. He gets up from his bed faster than he ever has in his life. He’s opening the door, and Liam tumbles over into his room from losing the support the door gave him. And like Zayn had guessed, Liam’s cheeks are tear-stained.

He crouches down and places a comforting hand on Liam’s shoulder, rubbing it softly. “Li… Why are you—”

He’s interrupted by Liam muttering, “Please don’t h-hate me. I can’t lose you, too.”

Zayn tenses; Liam couldn’t be anymore wrong. He’d never hate him; he’d never leave him because he needs Liam more than he needs air. “Why the hell would you think that? I could never hate you, Liam.”

Liam sits up and pushes away from Zayn. Zayn ignores the small painful jab his heart feels. Liam wipes his eyes and glares at Zayn. “Why wouldn’t I think that? You’ve been avoiding me for a whole damn week, Zayn. I’ve even forgotten what you look like!”

“I know. I’m sorry. I just—” he hesitates as he thinks of an excuse. “I bet Louis I could last two weeks without talking to you. Looks like I lost, huh?” he lies straight through his teeth, and he’s now wondering how Liam would ever believe that.

Except he does when he gets up, brushes himself off, and frowns. “That’s not very funny.”

Zayn smiles and nods. “Yeah, I know. I’ll be sure to punch Louis for it.”

Liam chuckles at the thought of that, and Zayn can’t help but smile – that same wide smile that appears whenever Liam’s involved (the ‘Liam smile’, Louis calls it) – now that Liam’s happy again. He pokes Zayn’s chest firmly. “I’m still mad at you.”

“Aw, c’mon, Li—”

“But!” Liam exclaims, “You can make it up to me. Go out with me tonight, yeah?”

His breath hitches as soon as those words register in his mind. Liam wants to go out with him? On a date? He’s staring at Liam, eyes wide and mouth open. Liam thinks of him in that way?

But all of that hope that seemed to emerge itself again is crushed when Liam begins to talk about a club he had heard of that recently opened.

Liam just wants him to be his wingman again, and Zayn can’t even say no because he’d never forgive himself if Liam fell back into the depression he had when Sophia left him.  _For Liam_ , he thinks to himself for the billionth time; it’s implanted in his brain now.

 

That’s the mantra he repeats to himself as he and Liam get ready, head to the club with Louis and Harry tagging along, and walk inside, the familiar smell of cologne, perfume, and sweat hitting him as well as the loud music blaring throughout the place.

Liam, Louis, and Harry are gone as soon as they step inside, and Zayn’s left alone again. He doesn’t hesitate to head to the bar and take a seat on the stool as he isolates himself from everyone. He spends the next few hours scrolling through Instagram and befriending the bartender (his name’s Josh, and they talk about music and Zayn’s pretty happy he’s made a friend).

He checks his phone and thinks it’s the perfect time to look for Liam. He waves a goodbye to Josh and starts his endless search for Liam. He pushes past crowds of people, spending over twenty minutes looking for the brown-eyed brunet.

He sighs before he goes to the men’s room and checks in there. There’s giggling and the sound of two people kissing coming from one of the stalls, and Zayn freezes.  _Please don’t be Liam,_  Zayn thinks as he’s taking slow steps towards the bathroom stall. It’s cracked open slightly, and Zayn can make out brown hair.  _God’s sake, please don’t fucking be Liam._

Zayn’s instantly relieved when he pushes open the door and sees Louis and Harry making out viciously, their tongues in each other’s mouths.

Louis notices Zayn and pulls away from Harry, eyes wide. “Zayn, it’s not what it—” he stops, knowing Zayn’s way too fucking old to believe that weak excuse.

Louis simply stares at Zayn as he’s searching his brain endlessly for an explanation. Harry’s stare remains on Louis, wondering why they stopped, probably. And Zayn’s looking back and forth between the two, not even caring about what he just witnessed.

So he simply shrugs and shuts the stall door before continuing his search for Liam back out in the club. He finds him eventually, making out the back of Liam, and he walks towards him before he gets close enough to realize he’s with two other girls.

One of them is terribly close to Liam, outlining his chest with her long, fake nail. She’s tall and thin with black hair. She’s wearing a short dress much like every other girl in the club; she’s giggling at everything that comes out of Liam’s mouth. And if that isn’t enough to make Zayn hate her, her other hand is slowly making its way to Liam’s crotch.

The other girl seems unamused. She’s a bit chubbier than her, and her hair is a bright green color that makes Zayn question humanity.

Liam’s the first to notice Zayn’s presence and whispers something in the girl’s ear before walking toward Zayn and pulling him aside. “Okay… I’m gonna need some help.”

Zayn gulps and tries to mask the hurt as his mind continuously tells him ‘ _Liam will never be yours, anyway_ ’. “You seem to have things under control, Li, don’t need help from me.”

“Yeah, bit of an attractive one, aren’t I? She practically shoved her hand down my trousers,” Liam gloats, smirking and winking over at the girl (Zayn would’ve punched him, but yeah, he loves him so he can’t). “Problem is, she’s with a friend, and she’s one of those girls who ‘wants to leave her friend, but can’t’ so I was hoping… That’d you take care of her?”

“Christ!” Zayn yells, glaring at Liam, “I can’t fucking have sex with her, Liam! Why would you—”

“No, no, god no! I’d never ask you to do that. Just distract her, yeah?”

He’s looking back and forth between the girls and Liam. He’s just about to say no until Liam pouts and gently holds one of Zayn's hands. 

“Fine,” Zayn groans as he (regrettably) yanks his own hand out of Liam’s grip.

They head back over to the two girls (Samantha and Riley, he learns). And Liam nods before they’re all heading into a cab and being driven back to Liam and Zayn’s apartment.

Samantha is quick to grab Liam’s hand and pulls him to Zayn’s room, until Liam (thankfully) guides her to the right room, which is his own room.

Zayn, on the other hand, awkwardly takes a seat on the couch after Riley denies his offer of a drink or snack. She joins him, and there’s an uncomfortable silence until they both hear Liam and Samantha's groans and moans. Zayn flinches as soon as it starts, and Riley rolls her eyes before she grabs Zayn’s hand and leads him out of their apartment.

They’re outside again on the sidewalk as Riley continues to lead Zayn somewhere. Zayn gulps as he lets her guide him. “C-Can’t we, like, talk about this? I don’t think… Maybe, like… Let me take you out on a date first.”

Riley laughs and shakes her head; Zayn’s panicking now; he can’t have sex with her, he just can’t. She eventually stops, and Zayn’s confused when he notices they’re in front of a sub shop and, thankfully, not her home.

“Buy me food,” she simply states as they head inside and sit down.

They’re both eating hoagies, and Zayn’s still confused. Shouldn’t she want to be having sex right now? That’s usually why people go to clubs.

“I see the way you look at him, mate,” she explains as she takes another bite of her sandwich.

Zayn grabs his water bottle and starts drinking it, ignoring what she’s going on about.

“You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

Okay, he’s choking now as he spits some of the water out. Riley gets up and is at his side in seconds as she pats his back lightly.

Once Zayn’s okay, Riley sits back down. “I’ve no idea what you’re talking about,” Zayn lies, avoiding her harsh gaze.

“Don’t pull that shit on me. I saw how you were looking at him when he pulled you aside; he’s got you on a leash—”

“It’s none of your fucking business,” Zayn snaps, glaring as Riley’s gaze softens until she’s frowning.

“You’re right, it isn’t. I know what you’re going through, though. It’s not going to get any easier until you tell him.” She places her hand on top of Zayn’s; a friendly gesture to let Zayn know she’s only trying to help. “You’ve gotta tell him. It’s only going to get worse in the long run.”

“I know what I’m doing.” A part of Zayn thinks he’s trying to convince himself because of how unsure he is about his relationship with Liam, but he pushes that part aside. Of course he knows what he’s doing. “Don’t explain things to me like you know about our situation. You don’t know anything.”

“I told you, Zack—”

“ _Zayn._ ”

“Okay, Zayn, whatever. I told you, Zayn. I’ve been where you are. I fell in love with my best friend, too. Unfortunately, she’s fucking the man you’re in love with right now, but I’ve moved past that. I told her how I felt, and she rejected me, yeah, but I was able to move on after that.” She looks away from him for a second, trying to pull herself together, before she faces him again, eyes sharp. “You don’t know the relief I felt knowing I didn’t have to hide it anymore. I loved her, yeah, but I ended up hating her for not noticing the way I felt. And if you don’t tell him, you’ll grow to hate him, too.”

Zayn pulls his hand away and takes the last bite of his sandwich to let her know he’s done with the conversation.

She seems to take the hint as she grabs her coat and gets ready to leave as Zayn pays for the bill. They’re walking back towards his apartment. When they get inside, Zayn’s relieved to hear silence, meaning Liam and Samantha were done.

He sets up a small bed on the couch for Riley and begins making his way towards his own room. Riley reaches out and grabs his arm, stopping him. “Just think about what I said, okay?”

Zayn shakes her grip off of him and goes to his room, locking the door. He dresses down into his boxers and stares at the ceiling, unable to sleep as Riley’s words echo through his mind.

The only reason why he was so hostile towards Riley was because he knows he’s already growing to resent Liam.

And that scares the hell out of him.


	9. The Return of Sophia

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the one where Sophia comes back into all of this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii sorry if this chapter is absolute rubbish (look at me im learning the ways of the british). i suck at writing, haha

Zayn doesn’t mean to, but he ends up leaving his apartment with Riley and Samantha. Samantha smirks at him while giving him her number so he can pass it on to Liam. Riley smiles solemnly as she catches Zayn ripping the paper up out of the corner of her eye.

She offers to give him her number so they can text, but Zayn only flips her off in response before he’s getting into his car and driving off.

 _This is why I like guys_ , Zayn thinks sourly as he pulls into the store’s parking lot. He half expects Louis to already be behind the counter but is quite surprised at the fact that  _he_ has to open up the shop. He never does it.

Louis hasn’t texted him back, so Zayn’s going to assume Louis’s ignoring him. His assumptions are proven correct when Louis enters 20 minutes after him and heads directly to the back room, avoiding Zayn’s’ eyes.

Great, now he’s got an upset best friend to worry about, too. As if helping the man he’s in love with get laid isn’t enough.

Louis emerges from the back room and is stood in front of him before he can go rip him a new one himself. He’s staring at the floor and rubbing his arm. “Z, we’ve gotta talk…”

“The fuck did I do this time?”

“No, no.” Louis shakes his head and actually looks at Zayn this time. “You didn’t do anything; it’s just… last night…”

Zayn’s eyebrow raises in question. “Last night? What’s that got to do—” He stops himself and groans in realization. “You and Harry? That’s what this is about?!”

“Look, I know what you saw seems a bit sketchy, since I told you Harry and I weren’t a ‘thing’, but—”

“Loueh, I don’t fucking care! I’m just about ready to kill someone with all the shit Liam’s been having me do for him,” he rants, taking the stress ball (he never needed one until now) out of his back pocket and squeezing it as hard as he can, “Whatever’s going on between the two of you is just that, between the two of you.”

“So… you’re not going to tell Niall or Liam?”

“No,” Zayn replies, annoyed and agitated, “I just want Liam Payne to fucking love meh.” He bangs his head against the counter. “I sound like a right twat, don’t I?”

“Yeah.” Louis laughs as Zayn throws the stress ball at him. He dodges it and rubs Zayn’s back. “I mean, a love-sick twat. Don’t think that makes things any better, though.”

He huffs in frustration. “Doniya’s visiting tomorrow, too. That should be bloody magnificent, shouldn’t it? I’m going to end up being a dick to her because I’ve been so fucking angry lately.”

“Your sister’s coming? Why?”

“She wants to see me, misses me or summat—” His cellphone goes off and interrupts him. He checks the caller ID, and it’s from a number he doesn’t recognize. He’s going to end up punching a hole in the wall if that Riley chick somehow got his number.

“What?” he answers, tone sharp and aggressive.

“Zayn? Sorry if I’m calling at a bad time. Liam is—” His eyes widen, and he looks over at Louis. It’s Sophia. There’s a crash in the background that is no doubt the thing that interrupted her.

“Sophia?”

“Yeah? Sorry. He’s having a bit of a meltdown here. I was wondering if you could come pick him up? You two live together and all,” she explains, voice upset; he can hear shouting followed by a few crashes. "Niall's here, but he can't do much."

He sighs; he’ll add that to the list of endless things he’s done for Liam. “Okay, I’ll be right there.”

“Hurry,” she replies before Zayn hangs up and takes the keys out of his pocket, heading to the entrance.

“Where are you going?” Louis asks, eyebrows furrowed with a worried expression etched on his face.

Zayn merely waves him off. “Cover me if the boss man comes, yeah?” He doesn’t wait for Louis’s reply as he heads inside of his car and drives to Sophia’s cousin’s house.

When he gets there, two men are fighting each other on the front lawn while Niall and Sophia are on the sidewalk, eyes panicked and wide. He can already tell one of the guys fighting is Liam. He parks near a tree and heads out, running toward Liam and the mysterious man; Niall’s quick to grab his arm and stop him.

“Z, I’ve already tried. They won’t listen,” Niall explains, his grip on Zayn’s arm not faltering the slightest as Zayn squirms against it.

Zayn’s silent as he watches the two men struggle; tears are pouring down Sophia’s face, and he’s seething once he sees Liam get punched in the gut. “Niall, let me go.”

“Zayn—”

“I said let me go,” Zayn demands; his gaze lands on Niall and it’s menacing while Niall’s is pleading. Niall gives in eventually and sighs as he lets go of Zayn’s arm.

He doesn’t hesitate to rush over to the fight and get in between them in order for them to stop. It all happens so fast, one moment he’s yelling at them to stop it, and the next there’s a fist flying at him and a sharp pain underneath his eye following right after. He loses his balance as he tumbles to the ground. He doesn’t know whose fist it was; he just knows whoever did it is freakishly strong.

“Zayn!” He hears Niall shout.

Liam looks down at him, worried. His worried expression is soon turned into anger as he looks back over to the other man. “Look at what you fucking did, Andy!”

Niall rushes to Liam before he can swing again. He grabs his arm, nails digging into his skin. “Stop it right fucking now. Zayn’s hurt; this isn’t worth it.”

His words seem to take effect as Liam glares at Andy one last time before he rushes over to Zayn’s car, hopping in and closing the door.

Niall kneels down to Zayn’s level and takes Zayn’s hand off of his face. He winces as he examines his eye. “It’s gettin’ a bit dark around it, might end up with a black eye. You’re a complete nutter, you realize that, right?”

“That’s not what usually happens in films.”

Niall chuckles and shakes his head. He gets up and helps Zayn to his feet. He insists on driving, considering Liam’s too pissed, and Zayn can barely see out of his left eye, so Zayn gives him the keys before they both get in (apparently, he doesn’t notice that he’s leaving his own car behind; Zayn does). Before they leave, Zayn sees Sophia rushing over to Andy and examining his injuries before pulling him into a hug; he knows he’s not the only one who saw the interaction when he hears a whimper from the front of the car.

They reach their apartment complex, and Niall’s dragging him inside and up to their room while Liam trails behind.

He sits Zayn down on their living room couch while he heads to their kitchen. Liam makes it inside and closes the door behind him before he sits next to Zayn and avoids all eye contact.

Niall comes back with an ice pack and demands Zayn keep it on his injured eye. He relaxes once Zayn does and sits in the armchair, facing Liam. “Wanna tell us what that was about, mate? I missed work for this.”

Work. Fuck.

“Nothing,” Liam mumbles; he’s trying so hard to keep it all in, the pain, anguish.

Niall gets up and sits on the floor in front of Liam. He places a hand on Liam’s knee. “Hey, s’okay to talk about it, man. Just tell us what happened.”

Liam breaks and a sob escapes his mouth, while a few tears trail down his face. Zayn thinks the punch hurt a lot less than watching Liam cry. “H-He… he took her from m-me, Niall. He knew I l-loved her, and he was my best m-mate, and h-he… h-he took h-her away from me…”

Niall forces him on the floor with him and proceeds to engulf him in a hug. He rubs his back softly. “I know how much ya loved her, but you’ve gotta move on.”

“I… I c-can’t.” Liam’s voice wavers; he holds Niall tightly as more tears fall. “G-God, I want to… but I… j-just can’t. I was only gonna c-check to see how Soph had been, and I saw them k-kissing. It hurt, Ni.”

It takes about half an hour for Niall to help Liam calm down. Zayn avoided the whole thing, finding an interest in the plant that’s placed by their door. Liam mentions he’s tired before he heads to his room and shuts his door.

Zayn feels oddly relieved, and Niall looks over at him with a frown. “Alright?”

“Fine,” Zayn automatically says. He doesn’t mean to hide his feelings; he just believes Liam’s matter most.

“Y’know,” Niall starts, “It’s okay to let yerself feel something, Z. It’s okay to feel sad over…” he trails off as he finds the right word to describe Zayn’s predicament; he gives up and simply says, “This.”

“M’fine, Niall,” Zayn spits; he can’t take much more of the look of pity Niall always seems to give him. “Can you go, please?” he whispers.

Niall frowns before he nods. He walks over to Zayn, leans down and kisses his forehead. He gives Zayn’s hand a reassuring squeeze and then leaves their apartment.

Zayn sighs and presses the ice pack against his eye. He doesn’t know what Niall’s talking about; he swears he’s fine.

At least, he hopes he is.


	10. The Rage-Filled Zayn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zayn explodes (metaphorically)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kind of hate this chapter and my crap writing. hope you enjoy it nonetheless

Zayn examines himself in his bathroom mirror and can’t help but notice his red-rimmed eyes from the lack of sleep, his disheveled hair from just waking up, and… Holy crap, is that a black eye?

He touches his eye and hisses at the pain from the contact; it’s practically swallowed up his whole eye. He looks like a freaking—

“Whoa, didn’t know we had raccoons,” Liam says, finishing his thought as he reaches around Zayn and grabs his toothbrush.

Zayn ignores him and heads to his room, while Liam shouts ‘it’s just a joke!’ from behind. He shuts his door quietly and throws on his clothes, getting ready for work. For the first time in his life, he really doesn’t feel like dealing with Liam, not after staying awake until early in the morning due to being forced to listen to Liam’s soft cries through the thin walls, a sound he can’t bear, let alone fall asleep to. There’s also his bruised eye, which was also caused by Liam and his inability to get over Sophia. Something inside of him tells him he doesn’t want to deal with Liam due to the fact that he has yet to get over Sophia, but for now, he’ll focus on the little things.

So, he heads out without so much as a goodbye, and he pretends he doesn’t notice, out of the corner of his eye, Liam looking at him solemnly as he exits their apartment.

 

He sees his boss, Seth, and Louis chatting by the register before they see him; they seem to be in a heated discussion, as his boss disciplines Louis. The hell did Louis do this time?

Louis notices him first, which then causes his boss to turn around and set his eyes on Zayn, his frown turning into a scowl.

Oh, shit, what did  _he_ do this time?

“Oi, Zayn, so nice of you to join us,” Seth begins, “Or are you planning on leaving mid-shift today as well?”

“I thought Louis told you—”

“Yeah, ‘family emergency’, but you and I both know that’s not true. I’ve been working with you for a while now, Zayn, don’t try to pull those shit excuses on me.” He takes a moment to examine Zayn before his eyes set on Zayn’s black-eye; he furrows his eyebrows. “I have a feeling that black-eye only seems to prove my point.”

Zayn sighs and shuts his eyes in embarrassment, no use in lying now. He’s ready to receive a lecture, but Seth merely nods his head and begins speaking in a calm voice, “You know better than this. I have no choice but to suspend you for three weeks, no pay.”

Louis gasps, and Zayn’s eyes widen at the punishment. Something Seth’s never even given Louis for his countless acts of recklessness. “B-But Seth!” Zayn protests; he’s been saving up to go to university in the fall and finish a few classes in order to finally get his degree in business. He needs that money.

“Or would you rather I fire you, Mr. Malik?” Seth replies, narrowing his eyes at Zayn.

Zayn finally gives in and hangs his head in defeat. “No, sir,” he mutters.

“Good. See you in twenty-one days, Malik.” His boss motions towards the exit, forcing Zayn to leave.

Zayn bites his lip to fight back tears before storming out of the store, leaving a speechless Louis. He runs into Niall as soon as he turns a corner, no doubt Niall going to visit him. He tries to push passed him, but Niall’s quick to grab his arm and stop him.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” Niall asks, his voice laced with concern.

“Nothing!” Zayn shouts, all too suddenly, he calms his breathing down and lowers his voice before answering again. “N-Nothing, I… I just have a lot on my mind, alright?”

“You don’t want to talk about—”

“For fuck’s sake, Niall, no! I really don’t!” Zayn exclaims, yanking his arm away from Niall’s grip. He shakes his head before running off.

And where else can he run to other than his apartment? Forced to be with someone he really doesn’t want to see at the moment? It’s not like he can hang out at Louis’s and wait until Louis gets off from work; that’ll just let the realization that he currently has no work sink in.

He’s surprised to see his sister Doniya seated in his living room, Liam right next to her smiling and touching her wrist. They both turn to look at him in the doorway. “Doniya? Thought you were coming later. Something up?” he asks, what used to be anger replaced with concern.

She shakes her head and immediately gets up, embracing Zayn in a hug. “Not to worry, little brother. Just wanted to spend more time with you,” she says as she pulls away from Zayn.

“I wish you’d have told me, would’ve prepared something for you.” Zayn frowns, thinking of how long it’ll take to make some chicken.

“Not to worry!” Liam shouts, interrupting the recipe going through Zayn’s head. “I’ve ordered a pizza already. What are you doing home so early, though? Hoped it would just be me and Doniya for a while,” Liam says, sending a wink towards Doniya.

Okay, was that flirting? Nah. Zayn’s gone mad already.

Doniya merely ignores the wink and turns towards Zayn. “You worked today?”

“Yeah, but I… I asked to come home early. Wasn’t really feelin’ all too well,” he lies, avoiding Doniya’s concerned gaze.

“Do you need—”

“No, no. I’m fine now, promise.” He smiles as soon as the buzz for their door captures all of their attention.

Liam lets the pizza delivery guy up and pays him before grabbing the single box and shutting the door. “Let’s dig in, shall we?”

They all gather around the small kitchen table and begin to eat. Liam has completely kept his focus on Doniya and Doniya only, even going as far as to asking if she was seeing someone at the moment. And through it all, Zayn kept convincing himself that it was just Liam being his kind-hearted self; the part he adored about Liam finally showing up after weeks of its disappearance.

Doniya was barely responding to the questions being asked, being more keen on asking Zayn questions and wondering what he had been up to so far.

After they finish, Doniya excuses herself to the bathroom to freshen up. Zayn takes the time to clean up the dishes and put away any leftovers.

Liam stands next to him as Zayn passes him every dish to dry and put away. “Hey, Zee…” he mutters, voice barely audible.

“What’s up, Li?” Zayn asks, gaze remained on the dish he’s currently washing.

“You can completely say no to this; I won’t blame you if you do… but…” Liam trails off and turns away from Zayn to put something away before continuing. “You think you could… I dunno… Put in a good word for me with your sister?”

Zayn immediately stiffens, he turns to Liam, mouth agape. “…Sorry?”

“She just seems really cool, yeah? And I was hoping, possibly… To just have a chance with her? Does it sound that silly?” Liam asks; of all things to ask, asking if it  _sounds silly_.

He drops the plate he was holding and it shatters against the floor just as Doniya re-enters the room. She seems to notice the tension between the two starting to develop and looks back and forth between them. “I should go…”

Zayn turns to her quickly and frowns. “But you just got here.”

“I know, I know. I promised mum I’d be back in time to take her and the girls to this spa we’ve been eyeballing.” She smiles reassuringly before embracing her brother in another hug. “Take care, Zaynie. I’ll see you soon. I'll tell mum, Walihya, and Safaa that you say hey.”

He follows her to their door of their apartment before kissing her cheek and hugging her one last time. He closes the door softly as soon as she’s out of sight.

Liam’s seated quietly on the couch. “Are you mad?”

“Mad would be quite the understatement,” Zayn mutters, rubbing his forehead as he begins to think about all of the events that took place on this horrid day.

“Oh c’mon, mate, it wasn’t that bad—”

“Wasn’t that bad?!” Zayn exclaims, feeling completely livid, “You tried to make a pass at my bloody  _sister_ , Liam. What the fuck kind of shit is that?!”

“Okay, okay. I’ll admit that was a bit wrong… But it wouldn’t be the  _worst_ thing, would it? I mean, I’m a fantastic lad, if I do say so myself.”

Zayn grabs the nearest lamp and throws it at the wall, watching as it shatters to pieces. Liam flinches at the contact and remains quiet.

“I am sick and tired of you, Liam.”

Liam freezes and frowns. “That’s pretty big, considering all I did was try to go out with Doniya… It’s not like I did it without your consent…”

“Look. I get it. You’ve gone through a rough patch ever since things ended with Sophia on a sour note, but that doesn’t give you the right to walk all over me, Liam.” Zayn begins to even out his breathing, as he tries to take a more soothing approach; Liam gets up and tries to walk towards him, but Zayn only walks further away from him. Zayn continues, “And if you can’t even see what you’re doing, then… That’s pretty shit, mate.”

Liam nods his head. “That’s a fair statement, but I can’t think of anything I’ve done that has affected you in the least, Zayn. All of it has been between me and… well, you know who.”

“It hasn’t affected me?!” Zayn exclaims. “Not when I’m knocking on your door everyday begging you to eat and to get out of your room, worried that you’re going to die in there? Not when I’m trying my hardest to be a wing-man for you just so you can be a bit happier? And it’s definitely not when Sophia calls me in the middle of work, crying, because you’re out there getting into some shit fight with some random lad? Not when I’m trying to stop you from getting hurt, only to get punched in the fucking  _face_? Not when I get suspended from work for three fucking weeks because I ditched work  _for you_?!”

“You… You were…. Suspended?”

Zayn finally realizes he’s shaking from pure rage; his cheeks are wet with tears of frustration, and his breathing is labored. “Y-Yes… I was,” he says, voice cracking as he finally comes to terms with the fact he won’t be making any income. “A-And I don’t even know if I’m going to be able to make enough money for Uni this autumn…”

“I… I didn’t… You were trying to go back to uni?”

“Yes, Liam.” Zayn closes his eyes before speaking, unable to bear the look Liam would possibly give him from his spiteful words. “And if you were half of the friend that I have been to you, then you’d know that. You’ve become a horrible and shitty person, Liam.”

He opens his eyes again and ignores Liam, heading to his room and filling a duffle bag with clothes and shoes. He finds Liam in the living room, eyes downcast and brimmed with tears, as if he’s forcing them not to fall. His head shoots up when he hears Zayn walk in, eyes immediately going to the duffle bag. “Where are y-you going…?”

“Think it’s best if I stay with Louis for a bit. I don’t think I can be around you right now…” Zayn leaves their apartment and stays behind long enough to hear Liam’s heart-wrenching sob.


	11. The Confrontation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Words are exchanged in a confrontation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been a while, and I'm sooo sorry! I've had the biggest block lately, and I haven't been able to write around it. I tried really hard with this chapter, but I still don't like how it came out. So I apologize if it sucks really bad! Hope you guys enjoy xx

The first day is uneventful; Zayn's quiet and doesn't really speak to Louis. He stares out the window as if he were in some form of a movie or a music video. Louis leaves him alone; he seems to be the only one that notices Zayn's phone going off every 10 minutes.

The second day is when Zayn's ready to tell Louis what happened. He's fast in letting out the explanation, afraid if he talks about it any longer he'll cry. He does. Louis hugs him tight.

The third day is different, however. The blue-eyed brunet walks in and finds his long-time friend spread all over his couch, fast asleep. He looks outside and sees the sun is ready to set, and he rolls his eyes. He's just about had enough.

Zayn sits upright, screaming after Louis leaves a resounding smack in the center of his forehead. "Ow! What'd ya have to go and do that for?!" he exclaims while rubbing his now red forehead.

"You've been doing nothing for the past three days, dammit! The sun is literally setting, and you're still asleep! Your beard is out of control, for fuck's sake!" Louis replies, glaring at Zayn as he rises from his seated place on the couch.

"So you want me to shave? That's what this is about?" Zayn questions.

"No! I want you to talk to Liam, sort your shit out already. Stop hiding in a corner, hating life, and avoiding the outside world as much as possible."

Zayn's phone goes off and Louis's quick to snatch it away from Zayn's grasp.

**_From: Liam P._ **

_text #47 yes im still keepin count tlk 2 me zayn please im beggin pick up ur phone pleeease_

Louis sighs just as Zayn's phone starts to ring, signaling that Liam's calling him. He gives Zayn a cold, hard stare as the ringing continues. Zayn doesn't reach out to answer it.

The phone is tossed aside once it stops ringing, and Louis is ready to lecture Zayn before a faint buzz interrupts him. He lets in whoever is buzzing, assuming it's Harry.

An awkward silence fills the air as Louis mindlessly chews on his nails, thinking over what to say to Zayn. He has to get Liam and Zayn together; it's been something he's been striving for since Zayn confessed the feelings he's had for Liam. He wants Zayn to be happy. He _needs_ it.

"I invited Niall over," Zayn says, breaking the silence.

"Fuck, Zayn, it's my bloody flat, not yours," Louis responds, headache now growing at the thought of the carefree blond with the happy mood that always seems to be radiating off of him.

Zayn shrugs. "I need a friend."

"What the hell am I?"

"Ehhh..." Zayn turns away and avoids looking at Louis as he turns on the television.

Louis glares at the back of Zayn's head. "Go live with the almighty Niall, then, arse."

"No one knows where the hell he lives, Lou."

"Dammit, you're right, that shit—"

The doorbell finally rings and Louis raises his eyebrow at how long Harry took to come up. Probably got distracted by a bird, knowing him. He opens the door and is surprised to see a worn-out looking delivery man.

"Package..." the man mutters, breathing heavily. "Hold... on..." He gasps for air desperately and wipes the sweat off of his forehead. Once he regains his composure, he turns to Louis and smiles. "Sorry, you're on the top floor and... That was quite the amount of stairs I had to go through."

Louis ignores him and stares at the box in his hands that reads _The Humming Bird Bakery._

"Oh, right! Package for Zayn... Uh.. Milk?" He holds out the medium-sized box and smiles widely again.

Zayn's quick to emerge right beside Louis and narrows his eyes at the man who looks to be around their age. "It's Malik." He takes the box from the red-haired male and leaves to place it inside of Louis's kitchen.

The delivery man stares at Louis and Louis taps his foot impatiently. "Aren't you going to make me sign something?" Louis asks, annoyance in his tone.

"Oh, crap!" He hastily picks up the clipboard that was placed on the side and gives it to Louis. "Sorry, first day on the job."

"Don't care," Louis answers, signing the paper quickly before handing it back to him.

The man sheepishly reaches his hand out, palm facing upward, and forces a smile. "Tip?"

"Here's a tip: use the lift next time." Louis shuts the door just as the delivery man was about to reply.

Zayn rolls his eyes and takes a few bills out of his wallet, quickly catching up to the young man and handing him the money before coming back inside of Louis's apartment.

"You don't even live here and you get more packages than I do," Louis mutters angrily as he stares at the box, assuming there's a delicious sweet inside.

Zayn sighs and stands in front of it. "Seriously, who knows I'm here besides you?" He seems to find the answer to his own question as he opens the box and finds a cake inside with the words _I'm Sorry – Liam_ beautifully written on top of it.

Louis peers over his shoulder and smiles widely. "That's so sweet! You should go talk to him now and forgive him."

Zayn ignores him as he stands still for a second, looking the cake over and over again. He grabs the box and walks to Louis's trash can, throwing the cake in there.

Louis screeches and tugs on his hair, falling to his knees in front of the trash can. "Why'd you throw it in the bin?! We could've eaten it! I want fucking cake, dammit!"

"My forgiveness isn't going to be bought, Louis. He could've at least come given it to me in person," Zayn spits out distastefully.

"You won't talk to him, Zayn! He's too afraid to do that because he thinks you don't want to see him!"

"I _don't_ want to see him!"

Louis falls dramatically to the floor and sighs loudly, the sound irritating Zayn's ears. "Who the hell understands you?"

The front door creaks open and Niall peeks his head inside. "Am I interrupting somethin'?"

"Noooo..." Louis whines, still face-down on the floor. Why him? What did he do to deserve all this?

"You're fine, Ni. Come in. Louis was just praying he'd get the balls to ask Harry out on a real date," Zayn snickers.

Louis gets up hastily and glares at Zayn. "Fuck you." He turns to Niall and his glare harshens. "How'd you even get in here?"

"Delivery man let me in, nice lad that one, wonder what he was deliverin'." Niall shakes his head out of his thoughts and holds up a plastic bag. "I brought some films."

Zayn hurriedly hugs him tightly. "I've been bored out of my mind. You're a lifesaver."

All Louis can do is grumble upsettingly and sit on the armchair as the other two take up the couch, popping in a movie.

Hours pass, and it's officially dark outside as the fourth movie ends. He looks over and finds Niall and Zayn asleep, Zayn using Niall's lap as a pillow, and Niall's hand resting in Zayn's hair, probably from running his fingers through it as Zayn was falling asleep.

He narrows his eyes as he thinks it over: Zayn and Niall. He gets up and walks over, flicking Niall on the forehead.

Niall wakes up with a jolt and looks up at Louis with a confused expression.

Louis nods over towards the door to his apartment. "Come with me."

Niall motions towards Zayn, who's still asleep on his lap.

Louis rolls his eyes and grabs Niall's hand, yanking him up. Zayn's head slams against the couch cushion, but it doesn't seem to bother him as he stays asleep. "He slept in the shower once, even when the water got really cold. He sleeps through anything," Louis says as he drags Niall outside of his apartment.

Niall chuckles lightly as soon as the door shuts behind him.

"Listen," Louis starts, voice going from playful to serious. "I've been watching you the entire time just now."

"Bit creepy, innit?"

"Shut up!" Louis exclaims, pinching Niall's arm and ignoring his whine. "I saw you two, laughing and having a good time. I see the way you look at him, _Neil_. Don't think I'm as stupid as Zayn, I know. And I want you to stay away from him."

"Lou—"

" _Listen_ to me. He's forgetting who he really loves right now, and it's your fault. He needs to talk with Liam and patch things up. He loves Liam, Niall, don't you fucking forget that. You're distracting him from that, and there's one thing I know for sure: those two are going to get together, so back the fuck off." Louis's eyes are narrowed as he watches Niall, waiting for him to do or say something.

Niall bites his lip as he stares at the ground. He sighs heavily. "You're right... I know, but is it that wrong to just be his friend, especially when he's so upset?"

"You and I both know with the way Zayn's hurting right now, he might do something reckless. And you make it so damn obvious, Niall, so painfully obvious that he might do that reckless thing with you. And we don't want him making any mistakes, do we?"

Niall winces at the word 'mistake' and looks around, avoiding Louis's harsh blue eyes; he's blinking rapidly as he feels his eyes growing watery. Not in front of Louis, never in front of Louis.

Louis sighs and pats Niall's shoulder. "Look, once Liam and Zayn get together then maybe you can hang out with him again, but—"

"I-I gotta go..." Niall chokes out; he pushes past Louis and hurriedly makes his way to the elevator.

"It's for the best, Niall!" Louis calls out after him.

He sighs once Niall's out of sight and heads inside, already planning on telling Zayn that Niall had an emergency and had to leave, once he wakes up.

He just hopes he did the right thing.

He doesn't want Zayn to hurt anymore.


	12. The Apology

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Someone apologizes, but who?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey. feeling inspired for this fic. hope you all enjoy even it's really bad, haha.

“ _Please leave a message for—”_

Zayn sighs heavily as he ends the call and places his phone on the coffee table in front of him.

“Something up?” Louis asks as he eats cereal, about to leave for work.

“It’s nothing, I guess? Niall won’t answer my messages,” Zayn replies disappointedly. He’s been trying to reach Niall last night after Louis told him Niall had to leave in a hurry for an emergency. Niall used to be the one who’d always text Zayn back, no matter what; he’d grown used to Louis always losing his phone and never replying, but Niall would answer him in seconds. Now he’s sent over 20 messages and he’s called him three times, but no answer.

Louis places his bowl in the sink and scratches the back of his head, avoiding Zayn’s intense gaze. “Maybe he’s busy? Leave the man alone.”

Zayn narrows his eyes and furrows his eyebrows as he studies Louis’s nervous body language. “Did you do something?”

“Fuck, Zayn! You always over analyze everything. Just let it go; he’s probably doing something important, and you’re bothering him, you bloody twat.” Louis begins grabbing his keys and wallet, heading for the door.

“You didn’t answer the—”

The door slams shut before Zayn can finish and he rolls his eyes, running his hand through his hair. Something is definitely going on between Louis and Niall, and it’s beginning to affect his friendship with Niall. But before Zayn can think on the subject any longer, his phone buzzes with a notification from Facebook; he picks his phone up hastily, expecting a message from Niall.

_ You, Harry, Louis, +2 _

****_Harry:_ ** ** _so um are we doing the sleepover thing this week? None of you have spoken to me and I don’t know what’s happening anymore. Liam still owes me 15 pounds for the pizza. Just thought I’d put that out there_

_Niall Horan has left the group._

Yeah, Niall’s avoiding him. But why?

 ****_Louis:_ ** ** _why didnt u just text us_

 ****_Harry:_ ** ** _when I asked Zayn for his number he told me to go away_

 ****_Harry:_ ** ** _also Liam told me to only text him for emergencies because I kept sending him cat videos_

 ****_Harry:_ ** ** _by the way here’s a cat video I found that I really like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WZPysRdP8A_

 ****_Liam:_ ** ** _o fuk! zayn! pls pls pls if ur readin this tlk 2 me ! just give me 1 chance 2 say im sorry !_

_Zayn Malik has left the group._

The raven-haired male places his phone back in his pocket and grabs his keys. He’s got additional problems to worry about other than Liam.

 

He arrives in front of the video game store and is relieved to see that it’s only Louis working. It’s as quiet as ever as he walks in to the empty store.

Louis’s head perks up and his eyes cast over to the door. He groans once he sets his blue eyes on Zayn. “Oh, it’s you. It’s been an hour since I’ve last seen you, missed me that much?”

“Not really, but you’ve some explaining to do. What’s going on between you and Niall?” Zayn asks, his gaze never leaving its place on Louis.

Louis grits his teeth and begins stocking up shelves with games. He avoids Zayn’s general direction and shrugs. “I’ve no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You’re actually doing work to avoid looking at me? You’re lying out your arse, Louis. What the fuck is going on?”

“Well…” Louis mumbles, immediately dropping the games on the counter, leaving them forgotten. Shit. He’s got to remind himself that Zayn’s a giant nerd and knows him too well. “He and I got into a little bit of an argument. Just give the Irish fuck some time and he’ll come around.”

Zayn rests his arms on the counter and begins thinking Louis’s explanation over. If it’s an argument between Niall and Louis, then why is Zayn involved? He hadn’t done anything, so why would Niall avoid him? Louis’s hiding something. “You’re hiding something else from me. What is it?”

He checks his phone before answering Zayn. “Well, you know Niall is Irish, which means he’s from Ireland. I am not from Ireland, therefore I am not Irish. But Niall’s 23 and I am also 23. So there’s always that.” Louis rubs his chin in thought. “I have a job, and I don’t think Niall does; who really knows—”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

Louis’s phone vibrates and he checks it yet again, smiling at the message he’s received before looking at Zayn. “Maybe I’m talking, maybe I’m not talking.”

“Louis…”

“Maybe I’m stalling.”

Zayn freezes while Louis grins at him. The quiet in the air makes things a bit tenser as he wonders what Louis’s stalling for; his shift isn’t over for another few hours. “Stalling? Louis what’d you—”

“Zayn.”

And there it is, the voice that’s been playing in his head since he last heard it days ago: Liam.

He doesn’t move and immediately glares at Louis. “You son of a bitch, you knew I'd come here, didn't you? I fucking knew you gave in to my questioning way too easily. ”

Louis’s grin never leaves his face as he shrugs and eases his way to the backroom, shutting the door behind him.

Zayn pauses as he mulls things over. Liam hasn’t said anything, but Zayn knows he’s still there, waiting for Zayn to look at him. He gives in and turns around, his breath hitching as he sees Liam for the first time in days. He begins kicking himself as he feels the same rush of feelings he felt when he first met Liam; _he’s so beautiful_. There was some part of Zayn that had hoped, _prayed,_ that if he spent time away from Liam, his feelings for the brunet would eventually fade away. But now that he’s facing Liam again, after avoiding him for several days, he realizes that they’re never going to go away. His feelings will always be like death: constant. And he feels like comparing his feelings with death is way too accurate because there’s nothing easy or painless about unrequited love.

Liam places the large bag he has in his hands on the floor and begins digging through it. Zayn’s eyes widen when he pulls out an open envelope that has quite an amount of money in it; he hands it to Zayn. “I sold some of my old stuff online. Who knew you could get a lot off an old Batman action figure?”

Zayn’s jaw drops; Liam loved that toy. He had it since he was a child, and he had always kept it in a safe place in his room. “Liam… Wha— Your favorite… Why would—”

“I figure that’s enough money for the time you’re missing from work, maybe then you’ll have enough for Uni. And if you don’t, I’ll sell some more stuff.” Liam shrugs and rubs his hands together nervously.

Before Zayn can heavily protest and give the money back, Liam begins rummaging through the paper bag again. “A-And I got you some paints and pencils… And… And a sketchpad b-because I know you like to draw superheroes and such,” Liam says hastily, as he pulls the items from inside of the bag. “T-There’s um… There’s a-also your favorite… C-Chocolates.” Zayn can obviously see the panic inside of Liam beginning to rise as he pulls more things out of the bag.

“Liam.”

Liam ignores him and continuously pulls more items and revealing them. “A-A umm… A pack of gummy bears… With… With only red ones. I took them a-all out, p-promise.”

“Liam!”

He’s ignored yet again as Liam rambles on and on, pulling small things like a blue bear because Zayn loves the color blue, and more things like a random book about business because Liam feels like it’ll be useful when Zayn goes back to Uni.

Zayn’s had enough and places his hands on Liam’s shoulders, gripping him tightly to gain his attention. “ _Liam!”_

Liam finally stops and looks Zayn in his hazel eyes, gulping and breathing ruggedly.

“What… What is all this?” Zayn asks, pulling his hands away and examining all of the items in both awe and confusion.

“I… I didn’t know what to do to get you to forgive me. So I grabbed a bunch of things you like… To show you that I know you, Zayn,” Liam explains quietly, “You-You think I don’t listen, or care… But I do. I always pay attention when it comes to you, Zayn. Because I care about you. And I’m sorry if I haven’t been showing it lately because I know I haven’t, but I’ve been confused and lost, and I haven’t been paying attention to the things that matter most to me.” Liam's tears prick at the corner of his eyes and he sniffles quietly. “And I’m sorry, Zayn. I miss you so much. I hurt you when I never wanted to hurt you, and I can’t even forgive myself for that… so I—so I don’t e-expect you to. And I’m… I’m s-so sorry…” He chokes the last part out as the tears begin to fall.

Liam leaves the store without a second glance, afraid of Zayn’s response, and Zayn’s so shocked he can’t call out after him; his own eyes are watery. He’s so so confused as he stands in the middle of the store with a heavy heart.

He didn’t think it to be possible, but Zayn thinks he’s fallen even more in love with Liam.


	13. The Apology Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where we see what happens after liam apologizes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sorry if it sucks. a lot happened for nothing, and im just now realizing it. I also dragged it out way too much ):. Hope you guys enjoy it anyway, leave a comment if you'd like! They're much appreciated

“Holy crap, he gave you all of this?!” Louis exclaims, motioning towards the many items that are currently placed on top of his coffee table.

He had just finished his shift, and Zayn had waited for him the entire time, not daring to leave the store because of the silly fear of running into Liam. So now, the both of them had made it back to Louis’s apartment with Liam’s gifts spread across Louis’s table. Harry’s seated in front of the gifts, examining them and paying special attention to the red gummy bears.

“Fucking hell, yeah the bloody idiot did. That’s not even the worst part,” Zayn replies as he digs through the pocket of his jeans and fishes out the envelope with the cash Liam had given him inside.

“Whoa,” Louis mumbles in awe, taking out the stack of cash and counting it. “You’re not… You know, taking this, are you? Cause that’s a bit—”

“Too much, yeah I know.” Zayn sighs and rubs his face, already feeling immensely tired. “I’m not taking it. I can’t.”

“What? Why not?!”

Zayn furrows his eyebrows and stares at Louis, dumbfounded. “You just told me it was way too much.”

“Yeah, but….” He begins playing with the stack of cash, measuring it in his hand and throwing it back and forth between his right and left hand. “Think of all the krispy kreme donuts you can buy with this.”

“Fuck’s sake, Loueh, we’ve got to give it back to ‘im. He sold his goddamn batman action figure for it. In fact, we’ve got to give everything back—” Zayn completely freezes once he turns around and sees Harry with a mouth full of gummy bears.

“Soweh,” Harry says, mouth full. He spits the red candy into the bag and hands it to Zayn, wide smile plastered onto his face.

Zayn snatches the bag out of Harry’s grip and examines its contents. The only remaining gummy bears are the ones that Harry spit out. He hands it back to him and sighs. “I knew you were way too quiet.”

Harry shrugs as he spills the rest of the gummy bears back in his mouth.

Louis scrunches his nose in disgust. “Gross, Harold.”

Zayn collapses on the couch, nearly hitting Harry in the face with his hand. “What do I do?” Zayn groaned, laying his hand over his forehead dramatically.

“Well, do you forgive him or not? That’s the question.”

Zayn sits up and frowns. “Of course I do, I’d be an idiot not to. But I don’t think I can go back to being his wingman again; that shit hurt way too much, much more than I was willing to admit it did.”

Louis gives him a look of pity, and Zayn hates it so much. But he’s kept his feelings bottled up for way too long, and he’d be fine ignoring the look of pity, so long as he felt the relief of finally admitting his fears to Louis.

“Just tell him how you feel,” Harry states, as if it were the easiest and most obvious solution to his problem. He immediately leaves the conversation just as fast as he entered it. “Hey, Lou, did my boots come in?”

“I don’t fucking know why you don’t just put your own address in on Amazon, but no, they did not.”

Harry pouts. “Delivery man always leaves my stuff in front of my flat building and never brings it up to me. You tip the man once with Oreos, and he suddenly can’t use lifts or stairs anymore.”

Louis rolls his eyes and decides to not press the matter with Harry any further. He looks back over at Zayn and shrugs. “Harry said it best. S’all you can do, really.”

“I want to disagree with you lot, but after that apology… I dunno, I felt like I fell for the bloke even more. I think it’d hurt a lot worse this time.” Zayn sits up and dusts himself off. “Right then, I’ll do it.”

“Shit, are you sure?” Louis asks, eyes wide. He’s been pushing for this moment for the past two years, but he never thought he’d get this far.

Zayn ignores Louis and takes his phone out and begins texting.

****_To: Liam P._ ** **

_meet me in front of lou’s flat building ._

“Thanks for the boost of confidence, Lou,” Zayn finally replies with a roll of his eyes.

“No, no, no. S’just you’re always all talk and no action… So, is this for real?” Louis can’t help but ask for the second time. It’s almost too good to be true.

Zayn’s phone vibrates and he quickly opens up the new message.

****_From: Liam P._ ** **

_b there in 10 mins_

“Well, here it goes…” Zayn sighs, he nervously wipes his hands on his jeans after he places his phone back in his pocket. He heads for the door and gives one last look to Louis. “I even told him to meet me out front because I know how nosy you are.”

“Bless you, Zayn. I thought I’d have to get Harry here to tailgate and follow you.”

Zayn shakes his head before closing the door and heading down the elevator to the front of the building. He can’t help but smoke a cigarette as he waits; it helps ease the nerves, and it gives him a clear mind. He’s really going to do this.

Just as he puts out his second cigarette, he sees Liam rounding the corner and jogging up to him, eyes wide and panicked. “Hey,” Zayn starts, smiling softly.

“Hi…” Liam pants lightly. “Haven’t worked out in a while, sorry about me being out of breath after a quick jog.”

Zayn can’t help but chuckle. It’s eerily quiet between them soon after. Liam plays with the dirt on the ground with his foot, anything to avoid looking at Zayn, and Zayn takes the moment to observe Liam, eyes glancing over every inch of his face and body.

“Listen—”

“Listen—”

Liam chuckles softly. “You first.”

Zayn nods, smiling before giving Liam a serious expression. “I want to apologize—”

“Zayn—”

“No, no, just listen to me. I want to apologize for hurting you like that. I turned into a pretty shitty friend, myself, and I’m sorry for that. I’m sorry I made you believe you had to give me a bunch of gifts of things I like just to let me know that you care. I shouldn’t have put you through that. I was just mad, and I should’ve given you a chance to explain instead of making you feel bad.”

Liam shakes his head and frowns. “You don’t need to apologize; I had every right to feel bad. I treated you so poorly. I just want to know if you’d be willing to forgive me. It’s so lonely back at the flat, Zee. I don’t smell your wonderful cologne anymore.”

Zayn laughs and hits Liam lightly on his shoulder. “Of course I forgive you, you idiot. You picked out all the red gummies.”

Liam scratches the back of his head and lets out a nervous laugh. “That took… A bit too long, I’ve got to admit. Spent an entire weekend.”

“And Harry spent an entire 10 minutes eating it, so not really worth it.”

“It’s worth everything if it got you to forgive me.”

Zayn looks away as he feels his cheeks redden. He shuts his eyes tightly. It’s now or never. He faces Liam again and lets out a heavy sigh. “Listen, Li… I’ve got to tell you something—”

“Hey, so does that mean Harry and Lou are up there? Mind if I say hi for a bit? Haven’t seen them since I upset you. They all took your side, you sod.” Liam smiles fondly and begins looking up through the windows to see if he can catch Louis spying.

“No, Liam. Listen, this is really important.”

Liam’s smile leaves almost instantly and his eyes fill with concern as he looks at Zayn. “Something wrong?”

“How do I put this…” Zayn trails off, finding the best way to confess his long-time love to one of his best friends. “Liam… I’m sort of… Well, you see… I’m…”

Liam’s bright brown eyes remain on him, and suddenly it all becomes way too much for Zayn.

“I’m going to need you to take some of the stuff you gave me back, mate.”

Fuck Fuck Fuck, of course. Zayn sucks, it’s official.

Liam rolls his eyes and ignores him, heading inside and up the elevator with Zayn trailing right behind him. The hell is Zayn going to tell Louis? Louis was so excited.

He hears the loud squeal leaving Louis’s lips as soon as he and Liam step foot into his apartment. Louis runs up to the pair and clasps his hands together eagerly. “So? Are you two…?”

Liam smiles brightly and wraps an arm around Zayn, giving a kiss to his head. “We’re great. Everything’s absolutely perfect.”

Louis fist bumps the air and runs around in a circle twice before facing the two and staring in utter disbelief. “I can’t believe it. After all this time, you two are finally in a relationship. I have to tell absolutely everyone—”

“Wait,” Liam interrupts Louis, taking away the arm wrapped around Zayn and stepping away from him. “What do you mean in a relationship?”

Louis’s once happy face quickly drops as he realizes what he’s done. “Oh shit.”

Liam gulps and rubs his hands together before heading to the door. “I’ve gotta go.” He leaves before Zayn can say anything.

“You didn’t tell him…”

Zayn slaps his forehead repeatedly. He’s such an idiot. He doesn’t answer Louis as he heads out into the hallway and catches up with Liam, grabbing his arm and stopping him. “Oi, would you please wait?”

Liam takes a deep breath and faces him, looking around nervously. “I dunno what he was talking about, Zayn. What was he talking about?”

“I don’t know? He’s Louis… He almost set me up with our waitress because he thought we’d look good together.” Zayn’s way too good at telling lies when it comes to admitting his feelings, scary good.

Liam can’t help but sigh in relief. “S’not you or anything, just thought he’d… H-He’d assume I was c-crushing on you, or summat.” He bites his lip, a nervous habit, Zayn learned. “C-Cause then that’d just… M-Make it awkward, you’re straight and all.”

Zayn can’t help but raise his eyebrow questioningly, and Liam’s eyes widen. “N-Not that I do have a crush on you! I’m only… This is stupid, Louis was obviously joking.”

The hazel-eyed male hangs his head low, eyes casting downward in disappointment. He almost made a huge mistake. “Yeah.”

Liam reaches his hand out for a handshake. “What d’ya say? Friends forever?”

Zayn smiles solemnly as he encases Liam’s hand with his own. “Y-Yeah,” his voice cracks, “Friends forever.”

He’d be lying if he said the pain in his chest wasn’t his heart.


	14. The Reverse Wingman

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone else decides to play the role of a wingman

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> filler chapter ahead oh my lord idk if you guys will like it but i sincerely hope you do please forgive the travesty you are about to read im so sorry :( hope you enjoy it somehow at least a little x

Zayn didn’t know if he felt relieved or aggravated that he was now back at working at the video game store. He certainly missed the paychecks, but the customers were something else, something frustrating.

“Look ma’am,” Zayn begins with an abrasive tone, “I can’t refund you for the blouse.” As soon as the woman in front of him opens her mouth to protest, Zayn holds up his hand to keep her quiet. “I don’t care if you’ve only worn it _once._ This is a video-game store. We do not sell blouses or any other type of clothing here.”

The lady once again ignores him and insists on handing him the plastic bag containing different articles of clothing. “I want my £300 back.”

“Ma’am, I can’t refund you—” Zayn stops himself from creating an even larger headache and goes to his last resort. “If you won’t comply, I have no choice but to call security.”

Just at the mere mention of security, the older woman’s eyes widen and she hastily leaves the store without so much as a second glance. Zayn doesn’t know why that always works, but he doesn’t question it nonetheless, anything to get rid of moronic customers.

“I’m still trying to figure out if the pay here is worth dealing with _that_ ,” Zayn says distastefully.

“Oi, you don’t get to complain. You were able to get a three week vacation. I had to pick up hours because of you,” Louis replies, flipping through a magazine behind the counter.

“Hardly a three week vacation with all the shit going on with Liam. That and I need money so badly that I’ve actually considered prostitution opportunities near me.” After paying this month’s rent, Zayn’s checking account has reached to around 10 pounds and some change he had found in the couch of Louis’s living room.

Louis gives a half-suppressed laugh. “Don’t be an idiot; you know you’re still a fucking virgin.”

Zayn rolls his eyes and yanks the magazine out of Louis’s grip, throwing it in the trash bin. “Oh shove off, you know that’s not true, goddamn arse.”

The blue-eyed brunet merely glares at Zayn, having no problem with reaching inside of the trash and removing the magazine, flipping through it once again. “With the amount of time it’s been since you’ve gotten laid, you might as well be.” He ignores Zayn’s harsh ‘fuck you’ and quickly changes the subject. “So s’alright between you and Liam?”

Zayn shrugs his shoulders and rubs his hands against the sides of his dark, skinny jeans. “Alright as it can be, I guess. Bloody idiot had to sleep with me the night I moved back in, said he missed me too much and had to know if it was real or summat; needless to say I couldn’t sleep the entire night, slept from noon to midnight the next day.”

“That’s actually adorable. Has he given you any wingman duties?”

The raven-haired male shakes his head and gives a sigh of relief. “Thankfully no, but he wants to go out tonight. So that might possibly change.” He leans against the counter with his ink-coated arms resting on top of it. “I don’t know if I can handle it, Lou.”

“You have to tell him, Zee,” Louis whispers, resting one of his hands on top of Zayn’s.

“Don’t—”

“You _have_ to.”

And before Zayn can think of a new reason why he shouldn’t, the bell on top of the door chimes, meaning a new customer has walked in. Zayn instantly turns around, a greeting almost leaving his lips before his eyes widen at the familiar face of a light blue-eyed blond: Niall.

“Don’t say anything,” Niall starts, reaching his hand out as soon as Zayn makes a move towards him. He ignores the look of hurt and confusion on Zayn’s face. “I can’t explain why I’ve been away, but I know how you get when you’re kept in the dark about things, especially when it concerns someone close to you.”

Zayn can almost feel the glare Louis is currently sporting, no doubt directed towards Niall. But Niall doesn’t seem to care as he focuses his attention on Zayn.

“All I can say is I’m sorry. Things will work itself out eventually, but for now… I can only see you when you really need me; it’s better for the both of us,” Niall explains solemnly.

Zayn narrows his eyes and can feel anger starting to build up inside of him; he’s surprised, he’s never felt anger with Niall, but Niall’s beginning to piss him off. “That still doesn’t answer anything! You’ve been avoiding me and you can’t even tell me why so I can fix it? That’s absolute shit!”

Niall takes a moment to step forward, moving closer to Zayn. He can tell Zayn’s losing control of his temper, so he takes one of Zayn’s hands into his and holds tightly, something Niall knows is a usual comfort for Zayn. It works as Zayn takes a deep breath and looks down, any previous body signs of anger gone. “I’m sorry,” Niall repeats. “This is something I have to do for me. I don’t hate you. I never will. There are things I have to figure out alone. I’ll see you soon, alright?” He places a gentle kiss on the top of Zayn’s head and leaves the store, only sparing a last glance to wave at Zayn before disappearing on to the streets of London.

And Zayn can’t help but feel, what is it? Betrayed? Upset? Disappointed? He just wants Niall back in his life.

.

.

.

The loud music is enough to cause the irritation Zayn’s been feeling all day to grow even bigger. Liam looks over at him and smiles brightly, and Zayn forces out a smile of his own, once again to make Liam feel better rather than being honest.

Liam’s quick to run off, and Zayn finds a familiar spot by the bar, not hesitating in ordering a drink (because Liam was definitely going to drive).

He runs a hand through his disoriented, raven locks, watching as Liam talks with a group of girls, all of them trying to lean as close to him as possible. And all Zayn can wonder is how he let this happen again. He wasn’t even given a choice this time; Liam dragged him here, but then again Zayn’s so pathetically in love, he would’ve said yes if Liam asked him to come.

The cold, harsh alcohol is bitter against Zayn’s taste buds, but Zayn gulps it down nonetheless, desperate for the calm, relaxing mood it gives him. He watches a cheerful Liam jog up to him, and he takes a second to chug down another shot of the strong alcohol before facing Liam with another fake smile. He’s done so many of them during these situations that he doesn’t know what a real one is like anymore.

“So, Zee, what do you think of her?” Liam asks as he turns around and points to a girl within Zayn’s distance.

He raises his eyebrow as he examines the petite girl. She has bleached blonde hair and a face coated in make-up. Her bright-red, skin-tight dress is so short it’s nearly revealing _everything_. She’s very thin and doesn’t seem like she has much to show off.

Zayn faces Liam and notices the eagerness within his face and bites back the urge to say ‘another thottie’. “She’s cute.”

“Really? You’re not just saying that, are you?”

 _Yes._ “No, of course not. You should go for it,” Zayn replies, voice monotone. He feels like he’s on autopilot, like he’s done this so many times it’s become more of a muscle memory than anything.

“Good! She’s not for me, though, she’s for you!” Liam exclaims, clasping his hands together and smiling wide with excitement.

“So what do you want me to— Wait, _huh?!”_

“Tonight, I’m going to be _your_ wingman!” He grabs Zayn’s hand and drags him with as much eagerness as he presented when he first came up to Zayn. Liam’s nearing the blonde and Zayn’s trying his hardest not to freak out.

“Liam, I don’t want to—”

The brunet stops abruptly, and Zayn lets out a small ‘oof’ as he bumps into the back of Liam. Liam’s still holding on to Zayn’s hand, causing Zayn’s cheeks to redden. Zayn can’t help but hold on to Liam’s larger hand a bit tighter.

Liam seems to ignore the gesture as he turns his head towards Zayn so the raven-haired male can only see the side of his face. “Please,” Liam whispers. “Let me do something for you for once.”

Just with those simple words and the softness of his voice, Zayn sighs and nods his head, letting Liam smile once again and continue dragging him towards their intended target. He thinks about the irony of that statement ‘let me do something for you for once’ because it’s more of Zayn doing this for Liam to help him feel better. But he can’t let him know that, it’ll crush him.

“Hi!” Liam shouts loudly, as soon as they both reach the short, blonde. He gives Zayn a slight nudge with his elbow, causing Zayn to squeak out a ‘hi’ as well.

She faces the hazel-eyed male and gives him a smirk, eyes brightening at the sight of him. “Hello,” she replies.

“This is Zayn. The one I was talking to you about,” Liam says, nodding over to the male standing next to him. He looks out into the crowd and faces them both with a small pout. “Sorry, I’ve gotta go. One of my friends needs me.”

‘ _What a liar,’_ Zayn thinks as Liam leaves them both just as fast as he approached the girl.

“So you run a business, then?” She asks, white teeth showing as she smiles.

Once again, what a liar. “Um, is that what Liam told you?” He sighs as soon as she nods her head. “Yeah, I do. S’not much, but yeah.”

“So, you get paid rather well, yeah?”

Fuck’s sake, Zayn has never had a stronger urge to leave any place as he does right now. “Yes… I do…” he mutters.

“I mean… I’m not a gold digger or anything. I’m just trying to make conversation.”

Sure… “Right, yeah. What’s your name again?”

“Amy.” She reaches her small hand forward and begins rubbing her hand against Zayn’s cheek. “Your cheekbones are really defined. It’s hot.”

She continues to rub her hand against Zayn’s face, and he’s just so _uncomfortable_. He resists the urge to cringe. “Thank you? Listen, Anna—”

“ _Amy.”_

“Whatever, I’m actually—”

She retracts her hands and smiles sweetly at Zayn. “I called a cab a while ago since I wasn’t really interested in anyone in here, until you, of course. It should be here by now if you… want to get out of here?” As soon as she finishes, she sends him a flirtatious wink, and Zayn resists the need to gag.

He’s about to say no before he notices a smiley Liam not too far away. Liam nods his head and sends him two thumbs up. Zayn gives him a half-smile response before facing the girl in front of him again. “Sure,” he says regrettably.

Her smile widens and she nearly drags him towards the exit, the smaller girl seeming stronger than he is. They’re getting inside of the cab before Zayn can even think it over, and the club begins to distance away from them as they drive off.

They reach the inside of Zayn and Liam’s apartment, and Zayn turns on the lights, the once dark living room now illuminated.

Amy doesn’t hesitate as she faces Zayn, eyes dark with lust, no doubt. She bites her lip and nods towards one of the bedrooms.

Zayn shuts his eyes and sighs before leading her to his room, shutting the door behind the both of them.

“Aren’t you going to lock it?” she questions, head tilting to the side, attempting to look cute, but all Zayn can compare her to is a dog.

He hesitates for a moment before locking the door with shaky hands. He sits on his futon before she can make a move and turns on his Xbox one.

“What are you doing?” She stands in the middle of his room and stares at him confusion, her coat already off and her hands attached to the bottom of her dress, ready to take it off.

“Want to watch Netflix?” Zayn asks innocently. Maybe he can avoid this whole thing. He absolutely _refuses_ to have sex with a woman.

“Oh, I get it,” she replies, smiling brightly and rushing over to sit next to Zayn, a little too close for Zayn’s comfort. “Netflix and chill, then?”

“Sure? Whatever you want to call it, I guess.” Zayn shrugs and chooses to watch daredevil, one of his favorite shows at the moment.

Around two episodes in, Zayn flinches as he feels Amy’s hand begin to rub his thigh. He hesitantly looks over and sees her looking up at him with her wide, green eyes. She closes her eyes and leans in.

Zayn doesn’t hesitate to get up, watching as she falls against the futon.

“What the hell?!” she exclaims as she sits back up, eyebrows now furrowed.

“I thought we were going to watch Netflix!”

“I said Netflix _and_ chill!”

“Exactly! Netflix!”

She groans and rolls her eyes. “No you goddamned idiot! That means sex, bloody moron!”

“Oh…” Zayn looks around as an awkward tension fills the air. He sighs and walks over to her. “I’m sort of… gay? No, I’m really gay.”

Amy’s jaw drops as she stares up at him with her mouth agape. It takes a few seconds for Zayn’s words to register before she reaches for the pillow, gets up, and begins hitting Zayn repeatedly with the pillow. “Why the hell didn’t you tell me?! I was trying to get laid, you son of a—”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Zayn grabs her arms, stopping her. He lets go when she doesn’t make a move to hit him anymore. She grabs her coat and storms out of his room, slamming the door behind her.

He takes a moment to take a deep breath and compose himself before leaving his room and walking into the living room, finding a confused Liam sitting on the couch.

“Someone was a bit mad. 2 minute wonder, yeah? Has it been that long?” Liam looks over at him and chuckles lightly at Zayn’s flustered expression.

“No, nothing like that.” He racks his brain for some kind of excuse. “She, um, had herpes.”

_Wow._

Liam’s brown eyes blow wide. “Oh. Sorry, mate, I had no idea.”

Zayn nods his head, brushing it off. It’s silent between them before Zayn smiles to himself as heads to the kitchen and comes back to the living room with a box in his hand. Liam stares at him confused and catches the box as soon as Zayn tosses it to him.

“What is this?” Liam asks, examining the object within his grasp.

Zayn shrugs. “We won’t know until you open it, will we?”

The brown-eyed brunet rolls his eyes as he tears open the brown paper that’s usually encased around an item that’s been delivered, meaning Zayn ordered it online. He opens the box that’s beneath the paper and his eyes widen. “You bought my batman figure back?”

“Yeah… Arse charged 10 more than he bought it from you for.” He smiles as Liam thoroughly checks over the action figure, running his hands over the details of the toy.

“Zayn, I can’t take this…”

“Liam, I know how much you love that toy. Just take it, yeah? For me?” Zayn waits for Liam’s response and can see the struggle Liam’s going through of whether or not he should accept the gift. “You don’t know how much it means to me to see you happy,” he whispers.

So Liam looks up at him with the brightest smile, eyes crinkled and shining, a smile Zayn thinks he hasn’t seen in a while, not since Sophia. “Alright, for you.”

Zayn gives Liam a nod of his head before heading back towards his room. He lies down on his bed and stares at the ceiling.

Even through everything Liam has put him through: talking people into sleeping with Liam, getting suspended from work, tracking the man who had bought his toy down, and nearly having to sleep with a woman…

Zayn can’t help but love him with all of his heart.


	15. The Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone confesses something to someone. but who confesses and what do they confess?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello! a lot happens in this chapter; it's pretty long (for me, at least) so sit back and enjoy some cereal.

Several days go by, and Zayn finds himself exactly where he had started, as if the fight between Liam and himself hadn’t happened. He’s had to be a wingman for Liam for the past three days, and he’s right back to being hidden in his room, alone, with headphones on and his phone with the loudest possible volume.

There were several nights where he’d cry himself to sleep, and other nights where he pretended he was someplace else and not forced to face the consequences of unrequited love.

“Just tell him,” Louis advises him. He’s noticed the blue-eyed brunet says this to him every time they talk, so this is about the millionth time Zayn has been forced to hear it.

“Sure, sure, let me tell one of my best friends that I’m absolutely, pathetically, and wholeheartedly in love with him! Why don’t I just move out and tell him to never talk to me again? It’s the same thing, innit?” Zayn runs a frustrated hand through his hair as he paces himself around Louis’s small apartment.

“Calm down, ya twat,” Louis replies. He gets up and encases Zayn’s hands in his own tightly to keep him from pacing. “This is something you _have_ to do. You need a drink? You get up and get one. You need money? You get a job. You’re in love with someone to the point where it’s killing you? You _tell_ them.”

Zayn yanks his hands away from Louis, hard enough so that Louis would know just how much of what he told him pisses him off. “S’not easy… It’s…” He takes a moment and mulls things over before settling his hazel-eyes on the brunet in front of him, determination settling within them. “How come you’re so hesitant on becoming a couple with Harry when you lot are absolutely enamored with each other?”

Louis takes a moment to reel his around the sudden topic change. “What?”

“It’s because you’re afraid. You’re afraid it’s going to change things between you, yeah?” Zayn has his eyes fixated on Louis and it makes the slightly shorter male gulp. “Yeah, you’re afraid. You ignore it, what’s happening between the two of you, and you choose to act like everything’s okay when it’s not. And you’re trying to get me to confess to someone when you’re doing the same thing I’m doing? That’s absolutely hilarious.”

He sits on the couch after a few seconds of silence, not a peep coming from Louis. He doesn’t stop there, though. He sends Louis a glare. “That’s why you want me to say something, innit? Because you can’t do it yourself, but you want to, oh boy, do you want to. So why not? Send someone in a similar predicament to test the waters for you, see if it’s _safe._ You’re just using me to be selfish, aren’t you?”

After hearing those words come out of his best friend, Louis clenches his fist and marches right in front of Zayn, punching him straight in the face.

Zayn yelps and clutches his nose, eyes growing wide with surprise. Louis’s eyes seem to widen with his and he reaches out to touch Zayn’s face. “Oh shit, oh shit. I didn’t think I’d punch you _that_ hard. Holy crap.” He immediately rushes out of the room and comes back moments later with a pack of frozen peas.

Zayn takes the peas and places it on his nose. “I’m trying to figure out if I deserved that.”

“You did! Just… not as hard.” Louis sits next to him and sighs heavily. “You were right about me being afraid, but you took it too far with me using you. I see you when you’re hurting, and it hurts me, too, Zayn. That’s why I want you to do it. I’m worried about you the same way you were worried about Liam when he was in a slump, only I don’t love you like that, ew.”

Zayn finds himself chuckling against the bag of peas; he gives Louis a playful shove which earns him a smile from the brunet.

“But seriously, Zayn,” Louis continues. “I want you to do it because I care about you.”

“I get it, Lou, I’m amazing.” Louis doesn’t hesitate to shove Zayn right back, only harder, making him tip over from his seated position. Zayn laughs and sits upright again. “Thanks, Lou. Sorry for being an idiot. I get where you’re coming from, but I just can’t do it. M’sorry…”

Louis sighs and wraps his arm around Zayn, giving his shoulder a squeeze. He smiles solemnly and nods. “I understand. Not gonna give up, though, never will.”

Zayn leans his head on Louis’s shoulder and closes his eyes peacefully. “I know, Louis. I know.”

.

.

.

The hazel-eyed male enters his apartment, dropping his keys on the counter and examining the lonesome living room. He assumes Liam is at work and takes a seat on the couch, feeling lonelier than ever. He didn’t have Niall with him anymore, and Louis ditched him for Harry (surprise, surprise). It reminds him of those countless nights where he was stuck alone inside of his spacious room, forced to hear Liam and Sophia giggling not too far away.

It’s an awful feeling.

His phone vibrates, and he winces at how pathetically fast he checks his notifications.

_One new message:_

****_From: Nialler ):_ ** **

_im in front of ur flat come outside?_

Zayn’s never gotten out of his apartment and rushed down a flight of stairs faster than he has now. He opens the door to his apartment building and, sure enough, Niall’s standing a few feet away from him on the sidewalk, smiling widely with a guitar in his arms.

“Oh, thank god. I thought you’d never talk to me again after that day in the store.” Zayn smiles brightly at his blond friend and moves closer to him until he’s stood right in front of his cheerful friend.

“I told you I had some stuff to figure out, and, well, I have figured it all out.” Niall returns the smile, blue eyes shining as bright as ever.

“Would that have any correlation with the guitar?” Zayn points out, running his hand over the smooth instrument. It’s an acoustic guitar with the word ‘N I A L L’ engraved on the side of it; it’s absolutely beautiful.

Niall nods eagerly and strums a chord, still smiling sweetly at Zayn. “I brought Lucy here for you.”

“Lucy, yeah? Are you going to sing for me? Can you even sing? If you sound like a dying rat, I won’t hesitate to tell you, mate,” Zayn says cheekily, bright smile still adorned on his face. He missed Niall; there was no denying that.

“Don’t doubt ya on that for a second, but I am going to sing for you. Just hear me out, though.” Niall begins strumming his guitar, tuning it as he strums in order to get a perfectly tuned guitar. Once it’s achieved, he clears his throat and takes a deep breath.

He’s nervous, and Zayn can see it. Zayn wants to hold his hand and tell him it’s okay, but maybe he’s singing a goodbye song to Zayn and moving back to Ireland or something. That thought alone makes Zayn nervous, too.

A nice, soft melody begins to play as Niall starts strumming his guitar, the beautiful sound flowing to Zayn’s ears. Niall’s eyes land on his own hazel-eyes and it makes Zayn feel a bit uneasy. Niall opens his mouth and begins singing.

“ _Wise men say, only fools rush in…_

_But I can’t help,_

_Falling in love with you.”_

Niall’s eyes never leave Zayn’s even as Zayn’s grow wide in surprise; he ignores Zayn taking a few steps away from him in shock and continues to sing.

_“Shall I stay?_

_Would it be a sin?_

_If I can’t help… Falling in love with you.”_

And it suddenly all makes sense to Zayn: the stares, the hugs that lasted too long, the endless support from Niall. He even had Louis confirm it for him countless times. Niall’s in love with him. But he refused to see it. Why?

Why is his heart beating so fast right now?

Why does Niall’s intense gaze make him shiver?

Why can't he help but think about how this is going to change everything?

_“Take my hand,_

_Take my whole life, too,_

_For I can’t help falling in love with you.”_

He can’t move, and his eyes can’t seem to leave Niall’s as they bore into him. He’s shocked, and even as Niall moves the guitar aside and stops playing it, closing the distance between them, wrapping his arms around Zayn’s waist, and pressing his forehead against Zayn’s, his body won’t react, even as his minds screaming at him. Screaming what? He doesn’t know; he can’t will himself to focus on it.

“ _For I can’t help, falling in love …”_ He pulls his forehead away and kisses the top of Zayn’s head. “ _With…_ ” He kisses his warm, tanned cheek. “ _You…”_ He closes his sky-colored eyes and leans in, and Zayn’s so close to kissing him; he feels his breath against his lips as he’s nearing closer.

But just as they’re about to kiss, Zayn’s body finally registers the screaming in his mind and he pulls away as fast as possible, leaving a startled Niall. “Holy shit!” Zayn exclaims, eyes blown wide and breathing heavily. “What’s happening right now!?”

“I’m trying to kiss you?” Niall’s statement comes out sounding more like a question than anything. He’s so very confused.

“Yeah, but… Why?” He’s not used to this. He’s not used to being caught in a real-life plot twist. He has absolutely no idea how to react right now.

“Because I just told you that I love you? That’s usually what happens in the movies, right? Did I watch the wrong ones?” Niall scratches his head and begins thinking through the many movies that prepared him for this exact moment.

Zayn ignores his questions. “Is that what you were figuring out? Your feelings for me?”

Niall shakes his head. “No, I’ve always known. I was figuring out whether or not I should tell you about them.”

“But you were always honest with me… Why wouldn’t you tell me?”

Niall sighs and looks down at the floor, kicking a rock away. “Louis told me to leave you alone, really. ‘Cause of your feelings for Liam and all. I understood how it’d confuse you, but I couldn’t fight my own feelings hard enough, and m’sorry for that.”

Dammit, Louis. Now it makes sense, why he got so nervous when Zayn would ask why Niall wasn’t speaking with him anymore. He’s got to kick him later for that.

Zayn shakes his head out of his thoughts and notices Niall’s eyes on him yet again; his face has an unreadable expression, and he remains quiet as Zayn crosses his arms and bites his lip.

“Niall, you’ve got to understand—”

“I do,” Niall interrupts him, smiling. He takes Zayn’s hand and places a piece of paper in the palm of it, before closing his hand into a fist, so that he’s holding on to it. “That’s my address. I need to know your answer face-to-face. You have all the time in the world, love. Let me know when you’re ready.” He kisses Zayn's forehead and gets into his parked car before driving off.

His phone vibrates, and he’s expecting another text from Niall, but is surprised to see it’s Liam.

****_From: Lima bean (:_ ** **

_got an early out frm work ! lets go party hardy ! ew srry bout tht lets go 2 a club is wat i mean_

Great, just great.

.

.

.

The club is more packed than usual, to the point where the moment you stepped inside, your personal bubble was breached everywhere. Zayn felt someone’s hand on his ass about five times during the night, and the bar was filled so he couldn’t sit anywhere. Needless to say, this has been one of the worst nights as a wingman.

He hadn’t seen Liam the entire night, and he’s beginning to wonder if Liam really needs him there. He’s walking through the crowded place, squeezing past tons of people, and a few girls attempting to grind on him, before he spots Liam.

And then he sees her and his heart drops to the pit of his stomach.

Liam’s smiling, bright and happy, talking to a woman. A smile Zayn’s only been able to get out of him once during his post-break up depression. And who is he talking to?

 _Sophia_.

The name itself triggers bad memories inside of Zayn’s mind, and he doesn’t know what to do as he stands in the middle of the club, watching the pair talk to one another, neither one of them frowning or not being into the conversation. He looks around, trying to find Andy, the one Sophia moved on with from Liam, but he can’t find the brunet anywhere, and that makes the worry inside of himself worsen.

He finally gets a place at the nearby bar, and he’s happy (as happy as he can be after finding the wretched woman talking to Liam) that he’s able to have the two within his sight. _Maybe they’re just catching up_ , he reassures himself. Liam hasn’t been fixated on Sophia in a while, so maybe he’s finally moved on, and he won't feel the need to be with her again.

He continues to tell himself that, even after Sophia drags Liam on to the dance floor and they dance with each other for two hours. They haven’t moved away from each other the entire time, and Zayn’s worried Liam’s caught in Sophia’s nasty web again.

He watches as they take a break from the dance floor and move to a spot against the wall. Liam has his arms wrapped around Sophia's small waist, and Sophia’s leaned against the wall, encased in a cage of Liam.

It’s enough to make Zayn see red.

She wasn’t there during the aftermath; she didn’t have to deal with Liam through his depression. She’s the one who had caused it in the first place.

He’s not thinking as he grabs his alcoholic beverage and marches over to the pair. Liam sees him from the corner of his eye and moves away from Sophia, smiling at Zayn as the raven-haired male stalks over to them. It’s too late as Zayn’s plan unravels, he ‘trips’ (very fake trip that seemed believable enough to him) and spills his drink all over Sophia’s dress.

Sophia screams about her dress and Liam’s jaw drops as he takes napkins from a bystander’s hands and begins to clean the mess Zayn had caused. They both look over to Zayn, anger etched onto their faces.

“What the hell, Zayn?!” Sophia exclaims, trying to rub the stain out of her dress.

“What’s your problem?” Liam questions right after, helping Sophia.

Zayn looks between the two and gulps. “I have to take a piss.” He hurriedly leaves the couple and makes a beeline towards the restroom. He couldn’t take the judgment in their eyes any longer.

He’s relieved to find the bathroom empty, able to face his shame alone. He shouldn’t have done that. Maybe he made it a bit too obvious that his trip was absolutely fake. He sighs and stands in front of the urinal, unzipping his pants and beginning to urinate, eyes closed and body relaxed.

He doesn’t pay any mind to the door opening and closing and the sound of footsteps coming closer to him. It’s quiet just as Zayn finishes before he hears the other person talk.

“You know, I’m really glad I ran into Liam tonight,” a feminine voice says.

Zayn yelps and pushes his body closer to the urinal, trying to hide his pe'nis. He looks over and spots Sophia by the sinks, doing her make-up in the mirror. He doesn’t know what to say as he quickly zips up his pants.

“I’ve always regretted leaving him,” she continues, taking a moment to re-apply her lipstick. “He was a great boyfriend, after all. Andy wasn't the least bit like him; it made me miss him. I’m hoping that after tonight, there’s a chance we can get back together.”

Zayn’s hands are shaking at this point; nothing about this situation feels right. They’re in the men’s bathroom for Christ’s sake. And Zayn is the last person Sophia should be talking about this to, but she is anyway. Why? Zayn feels both uneasy and uncomfortable.

She finishes her mascara and puts her make-up supplies back inside of her purse before facing Zayn with a harsh glare and an evil smirk. “It’s too bad you’ve wasted all those years pining after him just for me to suddenly appear again and to have him at my beck and call in a matter of a few hours.”

Zayn’s body freezes even as Sophia takes a few steps closer to him. What’s she talking about? His mind is trying to understand everything, but he refuses to face the truth. This has to be a joke.

“You’re an absolute moron, Zayn. I’ve known the _entire_ time, and you still can’t figure out that I’ve known even after I just told you. You’re so in love with Liam that it hurts to watch because it’s so fucking _pathetic.”_ She frowns as her glare harshens. “I fucked with you so much, and you never even realized. You change your shift to get away from us, so Liam changes his to spend time with you, and you’re forced to deal with more of me and Liam. You think that idiot thought of that by himself?”

He doesn’t know what to do; he can’t handle hearing this right now.

She rolls her eyes and scoffs. “Everything was me, Zayn. I told him to do it. Whenever we were going to watch a movie together, I would practically force Liam to invite you. And why did I do it? Maybe to make you jealous? Because I am so in love with you?” She laughs bitterly and shakes her head. “No, I don’t go for pathetic guys. I did it because I wanted to make you suffer. I loved watching you squirm as me and Liam made out right beside you.”

“W-Why?” Zayn chokes out, his voice not being able to be louder than a whisper.

“What can I say? I loved the fact that I had Liam and you didn’t. That you were so desperately in love with him, but he was all _mine,”_ she spits out, brushing her brown hair over her shoulder. “And you had all of that time to get Liam, but you didn’t, you’re still pathetic. Now I have Liam all over again; he’s _still_ mine. Isn’t that an absolute riot?”

“You knew…” Zayn says, his blood boiling. He isn’t angry, no, he’s past that. He’s absolutely furious. “You fucking knew, goddammit!” He walks closer to her and shoves her shoulder angrily. “You knew this entire time and you used it for your own sick fucking pleasure!”

The door opening doesn’t seem to reach his ears as he shouts, “You evil twisted bitch!” And pushes Sophia yet again, causing her to fall on the floor.

“Z-Zayn…?”

His body stiffens as he hears the sound of Liam’s voice in the doorway. And of course, he had to walk in at the wrong time.

Sophia feigns a look of hurt and looks back and forth between the two. “I-I’m… I d-didn’t mean to walk in o-on him. I’m s-sorry…” she stutters out. She hastily gets up and grabs her purse. “I’ve… I need to leave. I’m just… Feeling r-really hurt right n-now…” She smiles sadly at Zayn and then at Liam, fake tears pricking at the corners of her eyes, before pushing past Liam and out of the bathroom.

“Zayn?” Liam asks again, disappointment in his eyes as he stares at Zayn.

“You’ve got it all wrong I…” He gulps and looks everywhere but Liam before leaving the bathroom as well. He doesn’t look back and doesn’t stop at the calling of his name. There’s no way Liam would believe him; he’ll always choose Sophia over Zayn.

Zayn storms out of the claustrophobic club with small beads of sweat coating his forehead; he’s panting slightly and hits the nearby brick wall with his fist. He immediately regrets it as he winces in pain and holds his now bleeding hand.

His best friend/secret lover isn’t too far behind as he emerges out of the club and stands in front of Zayn, his arms are crossed in front of his chest, usually meaning he’s disappointed in something, or in this case, someone.

“What the hell were you thinking, Zayn?” Liam questions as he begins to pace back and forth in front of the raven-haired man while running his hands through his hair.

Zayn slides down the wall and sits on the cold, rough cemented floor, placing his hands on his knees, the previous pain in his hand already forgotten. “Y-You don’t know… I…"

Liam sighs and sits down next to Zayn; it’s already nearing 4 in the morning, and the cold air hitting Liam’s face isn’t helping his currently tired state. “I just want to know why, Zee. Sophia has always been the love of my life, and I finally get a chance to be with her again, so why did you have to screw that all up? You’re supposed to be my wingman, mate.”

“I know!” Zayn yells, the frustration of the situation settling deep within him. He knows he’s messed up big time, but he can’t help but feel like he’s the victim in all of this. Hearing Liam call Sophia the love of his life makes everything worse.

“I just don’t get it… Do you think I don’t deserve to be with someone? I know I’ve been a bit of an arse lately, but—”

“That’s not it, Li, that’s not it at all; I’m just trying so hard… I’m trying to keep you happy because that’s all that’s important to me right now, but my feelings are g-getting in the way of that, and there’s s-so much that you don’t know, t-that I can’t tell you because I’m pathetic,” Zayn whispers, honestly hoping Liam wouldn’t hear anything of what he just said.

Liam stares at him, he’s always tried to figure Zayn out, but it’s always been difficult since Zayn never let him in. “What are you talking about…?”

And there’s no hesitation this time because he can’t take any of it anymore. He’s broken, and he just wants Liam to fix him, to fix the damage he had caused in the first place.

“Liam… I-I’m in love with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the song in this chapter is Can't Help Falling In Love by Elvis Presley. I very much love Elvis so I was excited to use it! here's a link to the song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vGJTaP6anOU
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, leave a comment if you did! Much love x


	16. The Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone kisses someone else

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo. hope you guys enjoy this even tho it kinda sucks and is trashy
> 
> mucho love <3 comment pls ily

_“Liam… I-I’m in love with you.”_

Zayn’s words float in the air for a while, like a feather caught in the wind, as he waits for Liam to react. He’s expressionless, those brown eyes that used to be able to tell an entire story now empty and unreadable. And just like the feather, Zayn doesn’t know if he’s going to hold those words close or let them fall on to the palm of his hand, before he blows them away

“I’m not quite following. In love with me how? Like a friend?” Liam begins to chew on his nails, and Zayn has a feeling Liam knows all too well that it isn’t like a friend, and he’s just attempting to stall, maybe giving Zayn a chance to take his words back.

“No.” Zayn shakes his head, gripping his thigh. “Fuck, Liam, way more than a friend. It’s like a constant burning kind of love that nags at you until you can’t take it anymore. It’s literally _right_ there all the time, like a weight on your shoulders. And no matter how hard I try to ignore it, you’re always there to force me to notice it.” Zayn laughs bitterly. “Who knows? Maybe I’m just using you as an excuse. I had all the time in the world to get over it, but I don’t know. It’s like I thrive on it. I need it, Liam,” he cries. “And I don’t want to need it.”

Liam rubs his face and proceeds to squeeze strands of his hair between his fingers. He’s clearly distressed, and Zayn’s positive that isn’t a sign of returning affections. “How long?” he finally asks, seemingly ignoring Zayn’s previous words.

“Too long,” the raven-haired male responds vaguely.

“ _How_ long?!” Liam shouts.

It’s enough to make Zayn flinch and blurt out, “Since the day I met you.”

“Oh, Zayn.” Liam lets out a strangled cry and immediately gets up away from Zayn, as if Zayn were contagious with something. “That’s two fucking years!” he exclaims. “I put you through so much shit- oh my god!” Liam gasps and covers his mouth, tears freely falling.

Liam’s crying, and Zayn can’t will himself to shed a single tear. He knows where this is going, but he still feels like he needs to worry about Liam more than himself, like he always has and always will.

“I f-forced you to hook me up with people,” Liam chokes out as a sob escapes his mouth. “I tried to get with your bloody sister! Fuck, Zayn, I’m so sorry. I’m so _fucking_ sorry.”

“Liam—”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Liam whispers, arms dangling freely by his sides in defeat.

His knuckles begin to sting as the once wet blood becomes dry. The pain distracts him from the sick, hollow feeling he has inside. “How was I supposed to tell you? I didn’t know how you would’ve reacted, and I was afraid of that!”

“But still!” The shouting, furrowed eyebrows, his frown, Zayn can tell Liam’s angry. Angry at him, maybe? He’s not so sure; he turns away from Liam, avoiding the brown eyes filled with rage. “If I had known,” Liam continues. “If I had fucking known! I would’ve- I would’ve…”

“Would’ve what?”

Liam stops, completely comes to a halt. The anger seems to fade away, and his head hangs low as his gaze drops to the concrete floor beneath him. He remains silent as he sits down next to Zayn against the brick wall.

Zayn’s caught off guard, to say the least, as Liam wraps an arm around him and brings his head into the crook of his neck, so that all Zayn can smell is the sweet scent of pure Liam.

They sit like that in silence for a while, the wind caressing their bodies every few seconds. The loving embrace feels so natural, and it causes Zayn’s heart to hammer against his chest. The eerily quiet atmosphere is what drives him insane, and he can’t take it anymore. “Talk to me,” he mumbles, lips close to the skin of Liam’s neck. “Say something.”

“What do you want me to say? Want me to lie?” Liam pulls away from him and Zayn shudders at the sudden coldness enveloping his body. “Want me to say that I’m madly in love with you? That I’ve been waiting for this day for so long?” He sighs and stares into Zayn’s eyes, and Zayn absolutely _hates_ the pity-filled gaze Liam’s giving him. “I can’t, Zayn…”

Zayn shuts his eyes tight.

_Don’t say it._

_Please, don’t say it._

“I’m in love with Sophia.”

And Zayn’s on his feet, ready to leave, in a matter of seconds. His eyes are burning as he continuously tells them that _no, you will not cry in front of Liam_. His feet are moving before he realizes, and merely a few minutes into walking, he feels a hand clamp around his forearm tight, stopping him. He turns his head just enough to see Liam, out of breath, and holding on to his arm tightly.

“Look at me,” he says, words coming out with various pants.

And so Zayn does, he’s stupid enough to turn around and face Liam, listening to him even after getting his heart broken by him. He watches as Liam’s eyes roam all over his face, studying his blank expression, trying to find _something._

“Please,” Liam starts. “Please tell me this isn’t going to change anything.”

“I can’t—”

“Just tell me we’re going back to being best friends! I can’t lose you, Zayn!”

“Do you think it’s easy for me?!” Zayn shouts. Liam gasps and takes a few steps away from him, releasing his grip on Zayn’s arm. Liam’s surprised state doesn’t cause any hesitance in Zayn as he continues, “You think it’s easy seeing you every fucking day and wanting nothing more than to hold your hand? To hold you close to me? To kiss you? To _love_ you?!”

A few tears escape his eyes without his permission, and he wipes them before more can follow. “And you want to go ‘back to being best friends’? After you tore my fucking heart out and threw it away like it was trash?! We were never even friends to begin with, Liam! You were more than that.” His voice cracks and he bites his lip and turns away from him. “You’ll always be more than that.”

He doesn’t wait for Liam’s response as he walks away from him, doesn’t even give a last glance as he moves further and further away from the man who broke his heart. He doesn’t know where he’s going; hell, he has no place left to go. Everywhere reminds him of Liam.

Zayn hails a nearby cab and gets in without hesitation.

“Where to?” The taxi driver asks.

With shaky hands, Zayn takes out both his wallet and his cellphone, noticing a single piece of paper Niall had given him earlier fall out of his pocket and land beside him on the car seat. He grabs it and gives it to the driver. “Here. Take me here.”

.

.

.

“Comes out to £20 even.” The driver turns around and reaches his hand out, waiting for money.

Zayn looks out the window with his mouth agape. “You sure this is the place, mate?” They pulled up in front of a big, tan house, probably a little smaller than a mansion.

“Says so on my GPS. You gonna pay or am I gonna have to phone the police?”

Zayn rolls his eyes and fishes out money, handing it to the man seated in front of him.

He’s a bit hesitant as he leaves the vehicle and opens the fence door, walking up a few steps until he reaches a white front-door. He takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell before he realizes that _shit, it’s 5 in the morning._

He turns around and begins walking away, cursing himself for attempting to wake Niall up at such a late hour.

“Zayn?”

He stops in his tracks and faces the direction of the white door again. Niall’s hair isn’t styled like usual, it’s practically everywhere. His arms are crossed in front of his chest as a chilling wind hits him, his shorts and tank top fluttering with it.

“I have nowhere else to go,” Zayn blurts out.

Niall smiles softly and steps aside. “Come on then, it’s cold outside. You’ll freeze out there.”

Smiling brightly, Zayn moves past Niall and reaches the inside of his living room, and holy crap it’s huge. He examines the leather couches and takes notice of the fireplace with the fairly large flat screen T.V resting right above it. “Fucking hell, you’re loaded, Niall.”

The Irish male lets out a light chuckle. “Bit of a long story.”

Zayn sits on the comfortable, leather couch and practically groans at how relaxing it is. “Well, I’ve got all night.”

Niall places himself next to Zayn and shakes his head. “More worried about why you’re here.”

Zayn ignores him, doesn’t even realize that he does as he gets up and examines Niall’s even larger kitchen. “Marble counters; your oven is gigantic!”

The blond follows him and frowns; he waits as Zayn goes on and on about the many items and furniture that’s placed inside of Niall’s kitchen. He can see the distant look in Zayn’s eyes, can tell he’s on the verge of tears by how much his hands are shaking.

“You told him, didn’t you?”

That’s enough to make Zayn shut his mouth. He’s quiet as he turns to look at Niall. Niall’s words don’t break him, though. He lets out a forced laugh and smiles. “You inspired me to, I guess.”

Zayn watches as Niall moves closer to him before wrapping his arms around him and hugging him tight. He’s not sure what to do as Niall holds on tightly and rests his head by Zayn’s ear. Niall’s hand finds itself tangled within Zayn’s hair as he softly rubs his fingers through it.

The next thing Zayn knows is he’s gripping onto the back of Niall’s shirt tightly, and he can’t fight them anymore as the tears he’s been holding in for so many years come right out.

They end up on the floor, Zayn on Niall’s lap as he cries and cries into his shoulder. Niall doesn’t say anything, doesn’t make a sound as he combs his fingers through Zayn’s hair and holds him close.

“H-He loves… Sophia,” Zayn chokes out. A strangled sob leaves his mouth, interrupting him. “I.. I tried to do everything… Anything, so that he’d love me…” He can’t help it as his body shakes, heart-wrenching sobs escaping his lips. “And he… He loves her…” His eyes shut as the tears fall carelessly on to Niall’s already soaked shoulder.

Niall’s heart breaks at Zayn’s sorrow, too.

It takes about two hours for Zayn to finally calm down. The sun has already risen and is peaking through Niall’s glass, kitchen door, a door leading to a very large backyard.

The sound of their breathing can only be heard as Zayn’s head rests against Niall’s chest. The hazel-eyed male pulls away from Niall’s embrace and lets out a yawn.

Niall chuckles, combing Zayn’s messy hair back. “Tired?”

He nods his head, and they stay like that for a while, sitting across from one another and staring at each other.

And Zayn doesn’t know what comes over him, but he can’t help it as he leans over, closing his eyes as his lips press tightly against Niall’s. Niall doesn’t seem to mind as he places his hand on to the back of Zayn’s head, pulling him closer and deepening the kiss.

Niall’s warm and his lips are soft, so Zayn doesn’t care that a simple kiss turns into a heavy make out. He doesn’t care that it’s early in the morning and he hasn’t slept, doesn’t care that he just professed his long time love to Liam only hours ago, doesn’t care as they get up and begin to walk towards something, never leaving each other’s lips

And he certainly doesn’t care as the sound of a bedroom door shutting behind him reaches his ears.


	17. The Move

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> zayn has two people to confront about what happened the other night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello friends, hope this came out alright and you like it! please leave a comment and a kudos! Hope you enjoy it x

The first thing he notices when he wakes up is the unfamiliarity of the room he’s in. The second thing he notices is the bandage around his hand and how it still slightly stings. Niall must’ve tended to it when he was asleep.

_Niall._

Zayn immediately sits up, now wide awake. He slaps his forehead repeatedly as he continuously thinks about what happened last night.

He doesn’t hesitate to get up and throw his clothes back on. _God,_ how could he have let this happen? Shouldn’t this mean he feels something more than friendship with Niall now? For the longest time he had only seen him as a friend, and now…

Well, now he’s not so sure.

He knows it’s awful, but he tries his best to leave Niall’s house as quietly as he can. He makes it halfway through Niall’s living room before he hears his name being called softly from the kitchen.

Zayn reluctantly heads to the kitchen and sees an omelet waiting for him on top of Niall’s kitchen table. Niall’s already seated in front of his own with a wide smile plastered on his face.

“Sorry, would’ve woken you up sooner, but you looked like you hadn’t slept that well in a while,” the blond comments. He gets up and pulls Zayn’s chair out for him. “Have a seat,” he says before sitting back into his own.

And so Zayn sits down and begins eating with Niall in an uneasy silence. He tries to delay it as much as he can, but soon enough, he finishes his food and finds Niall staring at him, patiently waiting for him to finish.

Niall sighs and runs a hand through his messy, blond hair. “I saw you trying to sneak out of here.”

“Niall, I—”

“You don’t need to explain, Zayn. I get it,” he says. “This is all new to you, and you’re uncomfortable with it.” Zayn doesn’t say anything, and Niall takes that as a silent agreement. “I wanted to apologize, actually…”

Hazel eyes are narrowed as he tries to figure out what Niall’s apologizing for. “Apologize?”

“Yeah… I took advantage of you, Zayn. Whether you realize it or not, I did. You were upset, and what we did… It shouldn’t have happened, and I’m sorry I let it happen, especially since I was the only one thinking straight.” He reaches over and gently squeezes Zayn’s hand.

And Zayn takes his hand away because he’s realizing how uncomfortable being like this with Niall is making him feel. “I don’t know what to say to that.”

“So don’t say anything. I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry… And that I want to make it up to you.”

“Make it up how?” Zayn asks, eyebrows knitted in curiosity.

Niall smiles fondly at Zayn’s expression. “Let me take you out on a date.”

“M’not sure that’s such a great—”

“Just think about it, yeah?” The Irish male interrupts him, “You’d want Liam to give you a chance.”

A heavy silence fills the air as Niall’s words sink in. Zayn shrinks into his seat, and he looks away from ocean-blue eyes. He’s not so sure how to take that comment, but he knows it doesn’t sit well with him.

“Fucking hell, Zayn, I’m so sorry—”

“It’s fine,” Zayn says. He gets up and gathers his things, not feeling as secure with Niall as he once did. He walks towards Niall’s front door, Niall chasing after him muttering apologies, and before he leaves he turns around and slightly smiles. “I’ll think about it.”

That quiets Niall down as he shuts his mouth and returns Zayn’s warm smile. He nods his head and places a gentle kiss on Zayn’s forehead. “I’ll see you around.”

.

.

.

Zayn walks into his apartment and immediately freezes at the sight of Sophia and Liam sitting on the couch, talking. “What’s this about?” he asks, earning their attention.

Liam looks over and gets up, quickly walking towards Zayn. Zayn can see the worry written all over his face. “Where were you last night? I called you loads of times. I was worried about you.”

And through everything Zayn’s been through, it didn’t even occur to him to check his phone. He sighs. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Oh, come on, how the hell could I not worry? Especially after what happened—”

“I said don’t worry about it,” Zayn interrupts. He nods over to Sophia. “Now what’s this about? You two back together?”

They remain quiet for a few seconds, practically confirming Zayn’s question. Liam looks down at the floor and frowns, seemingly ashamed, but Zayn doesn’t understand what he could be ashamed about. Because the way he’s been acting, he doesn’t seem to care about what Zayn feels or thinks. “We talked last night… about a lot of things, really. We thought it’d be best if Sophia moved back in, and we could try to work out our relationship again.”

Zayn’s expression remains blank, which causes Liam to squirm from the unknown. The raven-haired male nods his head. “So it’s settled. She’s moving in and I’m moving out.”

Liam’s quick to put his hands up, stopping Zayn from trying to move past him. “Wait, no one said you had to leave! She’ll move into my room, and you’ll still have your own room. Before we know it, t-this is all gonna pass and it’ll be back to the way it used to be!” Liam’s brown eyes are wide as they plead for Zayn to think about it and stay. He rests a hand on Zayn’s shoulder reassuringly.

“Yeah, Zayn, back to the way it used to be,” Sophia taunts. She smirks knowingly from her place on the couch.

Zayn’s forceful as he removes Liam’s hand from his shoulder. He clenches his fists, and Liam can see the anger settled deep within his hazel eyes as they never leave his brown ones. “Sophia, could you step out for a moment,” Zayn says through clenched teeth.

“But…” she protests. She’s desperate to see Zayn unravel and blow up in anger and frustration.

“Leave, Sophia,” he spits out.

She sighs and unwillingly leaves the apartment, closing the front door on her way out.

“How could you fucking ask me something like that? You don’t know, Liam. You don’t know shit!” Zayn yells. He shoves Liam, hard to enough to make him stumble back a bit. “You don't know about how uncomfortable I felt being forced to sit with the two of you, and how I had to imagine I was someplace else so I could last the entire time because I knew how much hanging out with you and Sophia meant to you… And the nights, the damn nights where I… I c-cried… because I could hear _everything_ you two were doing,” Zayn chokes out. “And I was so madly in love with you that it hurt every second I was forced to hear it.”

“That’s not fair, I didn’t know!”

“But you know now!” Zayn retorts. “And you’re asking me to go through the same thing all over again. Because believe it or not, I’m still insanely fucking in love with you!” He pauses to take a shaky breath in before he continues. “You’re selfish, Liam,” he whispers because he can’t find the strength to make his voice any louder.

And Zayn allows himself to finally cry in front of Liam. He wants Liam to know he’s in pain, so Liam can finally realize how much all of this is hurting him. He wants Liam to see him as Zayn, the guy who’s done so much for him and is falling apart because of it, instead of the usual Zayn he can walk all over without there being consequences.

Liam finds himself breaking as well because he knows what this means. Their relationship is dying and it’s all because of him and his inability to treat Zayn right. He reaches a hand out to Zayn, but doesn’t quite touch him, as if he’s not two feet in front of him but farther, much farther, and in a sense, he is.

Zayn covers his mouth as a sob escapes. He turns away from Liam and heads towards his room, slamming the door shut behind him. He rushes under his covers and he cries; he’s alone this time around, not having Niall to lean on, and that makes it worse.

It’s moments later, after he’s already begun packing his things into boxes and carry-on bags, that Liam approaches his door.

He can hear him on the other side, leaning against the door and sliding down it. It’s quiet between the two of them, the only sound being Liam’s soft breathing and Zayn taping things shut.

“You deserve so much, Zayn, so fucking much,” Liam whispers, breaking the eerie silence. “I just wish I could give you that. I wish I loved you the way you loved me.”

Zayn shuts his eyes tight at those words. And he doesn’t say anything to that.

He does, too, but Liam already knows that.


	18. The Text

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> louis receives an unsettling text

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more of Louis's POV than anything, kinda sucks and bit cliche but i hope you enjoy it anyway. comment and let me know what you think should happen (and if you liked it) x <333

It was almost midnight, and Louis was just about to head to bed until a knock at his front door had stopped him. He was surprised to see Zayn with two large boxes in his arms, struggling with them. And so he let him inside to set the boxes down; Zayn took a moment to take a seat on his couch, rubbing his hands against his face, and Louis was quiet because even though Zayn acted nonchalant towards him, Louis could sense every bit of anguish Zayn had been going through.

It wasn’t until moments later did Zayn finally look up into Louis’s eyes, seemingly read to spill every secret Louis wasn’t aware of.

But all he did was shrug, and Louis understood. There was an explanation somewhere, Zayn just couldn’t find it then, and maybe he didn’t want to find it. And so Louis helped him bring up the rest of his things; he set the boxes down in the corner of his living room to be dealt with whenever Zayn was ready to accept living somewhere else as a reality. They ate a few pizza rolls before falling asleep on the couch.

Louis remembers holding him close because what had that man been through?

It’s been a few days since Zayn moved into Louis’s apartment. Zayn’s been on autopilot, as far as Louis can tell; all he does is eat, sleep, and work. And Louis has yet to hear an explanation, but he doesn’t dare push it. As ridiculous as it sounds, Louis’s come to realize the 23-year-old runs away from all sorts of confrontation, trying to avoid it as many times as possible.

He’s set the table with two plastic plates, a recently-ordered pizza placed in the center. The front door is opening and Zayn walks in just in time, having finished his shift at the video game store.

“Come eat,” Louis says as he sits down at the table and begins pulling out slices for the both of them.

They sit in silence for a while. That’s all it's been recently, Louis’s noticed: silent. Zayn’s aware that Louis knows something happened, and Louis knows Zayn hates small talk, talking about the smaller details when there’s a much bigger story that needs to be told. So he just doesn't say anything.

Louis’s phone vibrates several times while they’re eating; Zayn’s noticing, out of the corner of his eye, Louis growing angrier the longer he stares at it. Zayn almost says something, but Louis’s quick to place the phone back in his pocket and continue eating as if nothing happened.

Once they’ve finished, it’s Louis’s idea to build a fort in the middle of their living room, and so they do. They encase themselves in a body of couches, pillows, and blankets. It’s like they’re in their own world as they rest comfortably inside the enclosed space and watch a movie on Louis’s I-Pad.

The movie buffers and that’s when Louis hears it.

“He doesn’t love me,” Zayn whispers.

He sits up, putting the I-Pad aside, and Zayn follows after him. And he lets Zayn talk, talk about his bathroom encounter with Sophia, his night with Niall and his unknown feelings towards that, Liam’s rejection and how he felt a strong pain he’d never felt before because of it.

Louis’s eyes are filled with tears by the end of it, and Zayn reaches over to hold his hand, trying to console _him_. Louis wraps his arms around Zayn tightly and cries just a bit harder because Zayn gets a bag of dirt, when he deserves the whole world.

They go back to lying on the floor, surrounded by blankets. “This is my fault, innit?” Louis mumbles. It feels like it is, all those years pushing Zayn to admit his feelings for Liam, promising a false happy ending because of it.

“You didn’t force me to fall in love with him, Louis,” Zayn reassures. “And you didn’t force Liam to break my heart.”

 _Liam_ , the more he thinks about him, the angrier he feels. He’d been so caught up in trying to get the two together that he hadn’t realized how much of a jackass Liam had been to Zayn. Louis continues to sit in anger until he hears laughter come from Zayn, a sound he hadn’t heard in a while.

“What’s so funny?”

Zayn shakes his head, a smile on his face as he stares at his phone. “Niall keeps sending me memes.”

“Memes? What the fuck? You’d think the bloody twat would try and be all Mr. Suave with you, not sending you memes.”

“That’s the thing,” Zayn starts, sitting up and stretching. “He hasn’t tried a single thing since I’ve left his place. He’s treating me like the same old Zayn I’ve always been; it’s quite the relief.”

Louis sighs and crawls out of the fort, Zayn following right behind him. “As much as I’m wary of the idea of you two together, I have to admit it’s nice seeing you smile.” He pats Zayn on the back. “Let’s go put the rest of your crap away. I can’t believe you can sleep with all those boxes around you.”

Zayn reluctantly agrees and they enter Louis’s guest room, now claimed as Zayn’s room. The hazel-eyed male begins opening one of the boxes in the far corner and taking things out.

Louis notices a box not too far away from it. His eyebrows furrow as he notices the tape slightly lifted from the box, as if someone had opened it and tried to make the fact that it had been opened unnoticed. He’s about to open it until they hear the familiar buzz by the front door from a visitor.

Louis ignores Zayn getting up and leaving the room to go answer the door. He’s focused on the poorly taped box in front of him. He opens it and is greeted with several of Zayn’s books and notebooks, and he almost shuts it again, nearly scolding himself for thinking someone could’ve gone into Zayn’s things and stolen something, until he sees a toy leg sticking out from underneath a stack of notebooks.

He sets the notebooks aside and pulls out a scratched-up, worn out batman toy. He’s wondering why Zayn has it and why it was buried beneath a pile of books. All of his questions are answered once he turns the toy over and sees a note attached to it.

_Zayn,_

_He protected me when I was younger, and now I’m hoping he’ll do the same for you…_

_Because I won’t be able to anymore._

_I’m sorry,_

_Liam._

He rushes out of the door, ready to show Zayn and clutching on to the doll tightly. He stops in his tracks immediately once he sees Zayn talking with Niall, the both of them smiling, and Zayn laughing again. He doesn’t seem to have a worry in the world when he’s talking to Niall. And that’s when he thinks about how much pain Liam caused him, and how this note’s only going to keep his unhealthy attachment to Liam. Then he thinks about the damn texts he received that’ll crush Zayn to pieces.

Zayn needs someone else. He doesn’t need _this._ He runs into his room and throws the doll into his cluttered closet, so it remains lost amongst the many other things Louis’s placed inside of his closet over the years.

He takes out his phone and re-reads the texts he had gotten earlier, tightly holding on to his phone as anger seeps through him.

****_From: Liam_ ** **

_niall wont return my calls_

****_From: Liam_ ** **

_i didnt know who else to turn to_

****_From: Liam_ ** **

_Louis…._

****_From: Liam_ ** **

_sophias pregnant_


	19. The Liam POV

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we see what has happened so far through Liam's perspective

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is long and is written horribly and i apologize but it's been a few months since ive last written anything and im really rusty. i hope you enjoy you beautiful people <3

It’s 5 o’clock in the morning, and Liam can’t sleep. It’s been an hour since Zayn’s walked off and Liam broke his heart, thirty minutes since Liam’s last phone call to Zayn, and twenty minutes since Sophia called him saying she was coming over so they could talk.

It’s only been an hour and Liam misses Zayn.

He grabs his phone, settling on sending Zayn one last text message. Through all the confusion, heartache, and anger, he decides on sending a message on what he’s worried about most.

**_To: Zaynie_ **

_please be safe_

He jumps at the sound of knocking against his door. His face falls as he opens the door, revealing a nervous-looking brunette. There was some gullible, optimist part of him that had hoped to see hazel-eyes and raven hair instead.

Sophia pushes past him without so much as a hello. She sits on his couch and eagerly waits for him to join her, and he does because he’s missed her, he’s missed feeling loved.

“You felt something tonight, right?” she asks, taking his hands into her own and looking into his brown-eyes.

“Well… yeah, I’ve missed you, Soph,” he responds. He slides his hands out of her grip and looks away from her. “But things are different now. Me and Zayn are…” He hesitates for a few seconds before continuing, “We just can’t be in a relationship. That’s what you want, innit?”

She cups his cheeks and forces his eyes on her again. “More than anything, and I know that’s what you want, too. So why are you fighting it?” She leans in and places a gentle kiss on his lips. “Why are you fighting what we have?” She starts to lean in more, ready for a passionate kiss.

Liam pushes her away and hastily gets up, his conscience eating away at him. “Zayn told me he loved me tonight… And I broke his heart. Him and I… we have to move past this together. Seeing us together will only hurt him more.”

Sophia takes a deep breath before she leans forward and takes his hand, guiding him back into the seated position next to her on the couch. “Remember what I told you the night Zayn moved in?”

He nods; it’s buried somewhere in the back of his mind, somewhere far enough to make itself go unnoticed, but still somehow present. “That no one would ever love me like you loved me.”

She smiles, tears pricking at the corner of her eyes. “And I meant it. Liam, Zayn doesn’t love you.”

“He told me—”

“He’s afraid, that’s all it is, Liam. He’s afraid he’s going to lose you because he’s selfish. That isn’t love, Liam. I know what that is because I feel it for you. Ever since he moved in I knew he’d try and take you from me, and that’s why I told you those exact words that night.” She caresses his check and brushes her thumb against it as a tear escapes her eye. “No one will ever be able to look past all of your flaws and love you like I can. I swear it.”

“Sophia… He cried—”

“Because he saw us together, and he knew he was losing. You didn’t think he spilled that drink on me by accident, did you?” She takes his silence as a no and continues, “I’ve met people like Zayn before. They’ll do whatever it takes to manipulate people into staying with them forever. He cries, and he runs away knowing you’ll chase right after him, and you would, wouldn’t you?”

Liam gulps. “Y-Yeah…”

“I told myself I wouldn’t tell you this, but...” She sighed and wiped away her stray tears. “That night you saw us together.. He was saying all these hurtful things about you, anything to get me to leave you, talking about how selfish, stupid, and inconsiderate you were. And I only defended you, that made him mad and so he pushed me. That’s when you walked in.”

Liam shakes his head, eyes watering. “Zayn would never do that. I don’t—”

“I’m telling you this because I love you, Liam.” She reaches forward and wipes a tear falling down Liam’s cheek. “What he has is this sick obsession of keeping people close to him, and you’re the only one who’s denied him because you have me. And now he’s mad, and all he’ll do now is turn others against you until you leave me and go to him. Is that what you want, Liam? To be Zayn’s puppet? To never have someone to love you ever again?”

“No… I don’t, but he’d never turn anyone against me, Sophia. He’s not like that!” Liam pleads. He’s not sure who he’s trying to convince anymore.

“When’s the last time Niall’s spoken to you?”

Liam stays quiet.

“Your best friend since primary school… When was the last time he's taken the time out of his day to give you a proper phone call?”

“I don’t… I don’t know, I—” He stops himself and looks down towards the floor. Zayn’s not like that, he tells himself. Is he?

Sophia rests her hand under his chin and lifts his head up. “Be with me,” she whispers, pressing a soft and enjoyable kiss onto his lips. “Let’s move in here together again, like old times. We were both so happy.”

And he agrees. And they talk for a couple of more hours and make out in between as well. Several hours have passed and that’s when Zayn walks in.

When Liam tells him what’s happening and Zayn decides to move out. He leaves a note for him with something he treasured so dearly because maybe it’d make him stay? (He doesn't).

But as he’s lying down on his bed in the middle of the night, unable to sleep because of the broken heart Zayn left behind when it was decided he wanted nothing to do with Liam, all he can think about is Zayn declaring his love for him yet again when Sophia stepped out, and how could anyone show that much emotion and not mean what they say? How could Sophia be right?

He gets up, eager to go to Zayn and plead for him to stay, that he’ll ditch Sophia, until he feels a hand wrap around his arm. “You’re chasing after him, aren’t you?” Sophia asks. He doesn’t make a sound, and doesn’t make any more movements.

“I heard what he said behind the door. You’re feeling guilty, aren’t you?”

He is.

“With the way he said everything, I’d feel guilty, too. Don’t you see it, Liam? He wants this. He’s the one pushing _you_ away so that you’d go right after him. And once you go out that door… Don’t expect me to be here when you come back.” She lets go of his arm and faces away from him as she lies on his bed.

 _No one will ever be able to look past all of your flaws and love you like I can_.

Liam doesn’t go anywhere that night.

.

.

An entire day goes by and Liam’s feeling numb. He’s never felt like this before, and it confuses him. He’s brushing his teeth, Sophia still asleep, as his mind begins to wonder. Sophia’s by his side, and she loves him. He loves her, too. So why doesn’t it feel like his happily ever after? All he’s been wanting is for Sophia to come back to him, and she’s here and it—

His eyes travel to Zayn’s old bedroom, right across the hall, the door shut closed.

It just doesn’t feel the same…

His frustration leads to anger. He should be happy. So why? Why does it feel like his entire life is crashing down? He trashes his bathroom, blinded by rage. And that’s when he sees it: the pregnancy test.

With shaky hands he lifts it up and examines the results.

_Positive._

He instantly grabs his phone and calls Niall. He ignores the hurt feeling at the thought of wanting to call Zayn first. He tries calling Niall again and again, each time going to voicemail, he leaves several text messages and an hour goes by without a response.

_And now he’s mad, and all he’ll do now is turn others against you until you leave me and go to him._

He shakes his head, away from those sorts of thoughts. He barges into their shared room and wakes Sophia up, demanding an answer.

“I-I’m two months pregnant,” she chokes out, burying her face in her hands as she cries.

“Sophia… We broke up three months ago.”

“I know!” she cries out. She looks up at him through her tear-filled eyes. “It isn’t yours, Liam… I-It’s Andy’s.”

“So you’re using me? To help you take care of the baby? Is that what all this is about? Is that why you flirted with me that night?”

“No!” Sophia quickly denies. “I was going to leave Andy for you! I realized how much I loved you, and when I told him, he got mad and disappeared completely. I swear, Liam, I’d never do anything to hurt you.”

Liam remains still, avoids Sophia’s gaze completely. His mind’s going into overdrive as he thinks his entire life through: Sophia, the baby, Niall, _Zayn._

He flinches as he feels Sophia take hold of his hand. She’s a complete mess, tears falling fast. “P-Please—”

“I need time to think.” He forces his hand out of her grip and walks out; walking into the room he hadn’t been inside of in quite some time because he wouldn’t be able to face reality of the owner’s departure: Zayn’s room.

It’s completely empty, except for the dresser and the messy bed. He chuckles to himself because Zayn _never_ made his bed, and even when he was leaving, he still hadn’t bothered to make it.

He eases his way onto Zayn’s bed, takes a seat on it and takes a deep breath. He hears the front door slam closed, probably Sophia leaving for work.

He lies down on Zayn’s bed and grabs his pillow and holds it close to him. It smells exactly like Zayn, even after several days, and Liam absolutely loses it.

He holds on to the pillow tightly as he cries and cries into it. Sob after sob leaves his mouth and he presses himself further into the pillow so that all he can smell is Zayn. Why is he crying? Why can’t he stop?

_No one will ever love you like I do._

Stop it.

 _He was saying all these hurtful things about you, anything to get me to leave you, talking about how_ _selfish, stupid, and inconsiderate you were._

Stop.

_Liam, Zayn doesn’t love you._

“STOP!” Liam shoots up from the bed, breathing heavily with a tear-stained face. He gets away from Zayn’s bed, from his room, as if it were a virus.

And that’s when he decides to text Louis because he no longer has control of anything.

“The baby isn’t yours, why would you stay?” Louis says from the other side of Liam’s phone.

“She doesn’t have anyone else, Lou. I can’t just leave her alone like that.”

Louis sighs on the other end. “No one told her to be a thottie, Liam. It’s not your problem.”

“But—”

“You wanted my advice, right?” Louis interrupts. He hears movement on the other end and assumes Liam nodded. “Sophia’s toxic for you— Harry put that down!” Liam waits as it goes quiet on Louis’s end. “Anyway, she’s got this weird hold on you that leaves you as clingy as a monkey. There’s a reason you two ended it, and I think it should stay that way.”

Liam stays silent as he mulls things over.

“Liam,” Louis calls softly. “Zayn loves you, like really loves you. And I think you need to stop being so afraid of something new and let go of something old, something that never worked. Talk to him, Liam. Please…” A crash is heard on the other side. “Dammit, Harry! What did I say—”

The line goes dead, and Liam’s left with his thoughts. He misses Zayn, and that’s all he could focus on lately. There wouldn’t be anything wrong with talking to him, and that’s when he realizes there really was no point in thinking it over.

He grabs his coat and heads for the front door, but as soon as he opens it, he’s face to face with Sophia.

“Where are you going?” she asks, intentionally blocking his way out.

“Gonna go talk to Zayn,” he merely replies.

“I told you—”

“Sophia, I don’t care. I want to talk to my friend. Even Louis said he loved me, so whatever you told me isn’t true.”

Sophia shrugs. “You want to find Zayn? I’ll take you to him, follow me.” She turns around and walks towards the elevator.

He’s reluctant about it, but he follows her regardless, as they both get inside of Sophia’s car and drive, passing Louis’s apartment building, passing Harry’s apartment, until they park right beside a small, Italian restaurant.

Sophia doesn’t say a word as she gets out of the car and walks to the front of the restaurant, Liam following her, and stares right inside of the glass windows.

Liam looks inside and wonders if Sophia’s taken him somewhere to kill him, until he sees familiar raven-colored hair. Zayn’s inside, sitting across from Niall, both of them smiling and laughing. He doesn’t make anything of it, really, maybe they’re just hanging out, but then they’re kissing and Liam’s heart drops.

He reaches towards the glass, so his finger tips are barely touching it as they hover over Zayn’s figure. A pain he’s never felt before settles within him, a pain he never knew Zayn could give him. And it’s killing him as he silently watches the two from afar.

“Does that look like a man with a broken heart?” Sophia questions, interrupting Liam’s misery.

“No.” The tears begin to build up as the silent pain continuously makes itself known only to Liam.

“So… Does Zayn love you, Liam?”

There’s a pause as Liam refuses to believe it isn't true because of course Zayn loves him. Why would he do all of those things for Liam if he didn’t? Why would he help him up when Sophia knocked him down after they had broken up?

But then they’re kissing again, and Liam’s entire world shatters.

“N-No…” his voice cracks, and a few tears cascade down his cheeks, hitting the floor beneath him.

Sophia rests a hand on his shoulder and gives it a reassuring squeeze. “I just wanted you to see the truth… I’m sorry, Liam.”

The truth, yeah, he sees it now.

_No one will ever be able to look past all of your flaws and love you like I can._

He sees it.


	20. The News

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> people of this story find out different kinds of news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello. thank you very much for the comments and the kudos, all of them make me smile and ily all for reading this okay? i hope you guys enjoy :)

He isn’t happy, far from it, actually. He remembers the past, when he and Sophia were first together, and Zayn was still living with him, and he knows he was happy then; that feeling he felt then was completely different than how he’s feeling now.

But he doesn’t change anything, doesn’t answer when Louis calls him, doesn’t go anywhere when said person invites him to a boy’s night out, promising that Zayn will be there, doesn’t even budge the slightest when Sophia tells him he can’t talk to Niall, Louis, Harry, or _Zayn,_ and doesn’t protest when Sophia forces him to accompany her to a doctor’s appointment.

And so he follows her to the appointment because Sophia needs him, and he needs Sophia, right?

Liam walks into the room Sophia’s been tended to – he had to step out and let the doctor examine Sophia thoroughly (she’d been having minor abdominal pain throughout the day, and called for a last-minute appointment).

She looks up from her spot on the examination table, biting her lip as she watches Liam nervously. They watch each other for a while like that; Liam notices it’s been like that between them for the last couple of days: silent. He’s noticed the look on her face when she watches him, like she has everything she’s ever wanted, but something’s still missing.

He knows because he feels it, too.

“Everything okay with the baby?” he asks, breaking the silence.

She nods and smiles (even though it doesn’t quite reach her eyes). “Just need to take it easy for a while, been too stressed or summat.”

“That’s good, I guess.”

“I guess so,” she whispers.

“Sophia… This isn’t working,” he starts. He turns away from her because he can’t do this if she starts crying. “S’not the same, is it? I’ve told myself to give it time, that it’s just a rough patch and it’ll be like before, but it’s been a week and… I can’t feel this way anymore. I should be happy, looking forward to waking up every day instead of dreading it...” He trails off and swallows the lump in his throat. “B-But I’m n-not…”

He turns around and sure enough, Sophia’s crying into her hands, and he walks over to her and places a gentle hand on her shoulder, rubbing it in a soothing manner. “S’not your fault; it’s mine—”

“T-They found a l-lump, Liam,” she chokes out, face still buried within her hands. “I should’ve checked,” she cries. “W-Why didn’t I-I check?!”

Liam stumbles back as she jumps into his arms. And he lets her cry into his chest, staining his plaid shirt. He doesn’t move; he can’t, he’s frozen.

It takes a few minutes for Sophia to calm down, to explain she had a mammogram, how dangerous it could be for her baby if the lump turned out to be malignant.

“I need you,” she says. “Now more than ever, I don’t have anyone else, Liam. Don’t do this to me… Please.”

Liam nods his head and smiles, tells Sophia to get dressed so they can go home together, to their home.

“Promise me you won’t leave me first.”

He avoids her gaze and hesitates.

Liam knows he isn’t happy, really far from it.

And he knows it’ll stay like that as long as he’s with Sophia, no matter how many times Sophia tries to convince him that they can get through this.

But he doesn’t change anything.

He can’t. Not anymore.

“I-I promise.”

.

.

.

“…So… how are things?” Louis asks as he takes a seat next to a distracted Zayn.

Zayn’s eyes never leave the screen as he focuses intently on the game in front of him, pressing buttons like a mad man on his controller. “Good?”

“You sure?”

“Pretty sure, mate—oh fucking shit.” Zayn throws the controller aside and turns off the console, aggravated by how many times he’s already died. Louis just raised his death count to fifteen.

Louis rests his feet on his coffee table and places his arms behind his head. “Nothing new then?”

“Nope, is Harry done baking? I’m starving—”

“Liar!” Louis jumps up on the couch and points a finger towards Zayn. “I know you’ve been seeing Niall!”

“What—”

Harry rushes into the room with oven mitts on. “Oh no, did I miss it?!”

“Harry being the creep he is—”

“You told me to—”

“Followed you for the past couple of days and he knows, Zayn. He knows about your little dates!” He begins throwing pillows at Zayn. “Why didn’t you tell me?!” He yanks away one of Harry’s mittens and throws it at Zayn’s head. “I’m your best friend!”

“Louis – Whoa!” He immediately puts his hands up in surrender as soon as Louis threatens to throw one of his vases at him. “It’s not anything serious, so I didn’t think I needed to tell you! Put that down, Louis, fucking hell.”

Louis puts the vase down and sends Harry back into the kitchen. He sits down next to Zayn and sighs. “You know Niall’s madly in love with you, right?”

“I was there when he told me, Lou.” (Louis smacks the future sarcasm out of him).

“So how could you possibly think he feels like it isn’t serious, too?”

Zayn remembers the night he agreed to date Niall.

_“Nothing too serious, right? Just experimenting to see how things go?” Zayn says over the phone._

_“Of course, Zee, whatever you want it to be.”_

He shakes his head, interrupting his thoughts. “Because I told him, nothing serious.”

Louis scoffs and rolls his eyes. “You’re a fucking moron. That boy would pretend to be afraid of spiders if it meant he could hold your hand the second he saw one. You tell him you’d give him a hug if he swam across the entire Atlantic, and he’d do it in a heartbeat.”

Zayn can’t help but think he knows all too well what that feels like, knows exactly who he used to feel that way for— _No_ , he can’t think about that, not anymore. “What are you trying to insinuate, Louis?”

Louis grabs a hold of Zayn’s hand and gives it a squeeze. “You know exactly what Niall’s feeling, don’t you? You're too familiar with the burden of being in love with someone who doesn’t love you back, and you feel bad, that’s okay, it’s a given, but you can’t play with him like that…”

“How do you know I’m not doing this for me? I’m trying to move on, Louis, and maybe Niall’s helping me. Let Liam go, Lou, it’s not going to happen. I’ve been single for over two years now. I _need_ this.”

“This isn't about you and Liam being together; it stopped being about that a while ago. Let's say _maybe_ you are doing this for you, but listen to me when I tell you this.” Louis’s gaze is hard and his blue eyes are cold as he stares into Zayn’s hazel-eyes. “You need to move on by yourself because the minute any little thing happens that can cause you to revert into lovesick, broken-hearted Zayn, it won’t just be you who suffers. It’s going to be him, too. So if your conscience can handle that, then by all means, go on ahead and live your life.”

Every single part of him knows Louis’s right, that it won’t just be him unable to sleep in the middle of the night because everything hurts; Niall’s going to be joining him, too. But he can’t bring himself to stop because maybe Louis’s wrong, maybe Niall’s already changing his mind and his heart. Maybe he deserves to be selfish for once, too.

“You said Harry had to pick up his new inhaler at the pharmacy, yeah? I’ll go.” Zayn immediately grabs his keys and leaves before Louis stops him.

The drive there is silent and maybe that’s what Zayn needs because he welcomes it with open arms. It helps him think of a different world where he’s okay; he hasn’t felt okay in a while, and he doesn’t know when he will.

He parks and heads inside, getting in line to pick up a prescription. That’s when he hears it: a voice that haunts him in his nightmares.

“Zaynie, it’s been a while, hasn’t it?”

He turns around and sure enough, Sophia’s standing right behind him, smiling wickedly and opening her arms for a hug. Zayn gives her a weak attempt at a smile and goes for a handshake instead. “Hi Sophia… What brings you here?”

“Went to the doctor’s today with Liam.” Zayn notices Sophia flinch at the thought. “And I’m here to pick up some prenatal vitamins.”

“Pre… Prenatal?”

“Liam didn’t tell you? I thought you two were still close.” She taps her chin in thought then shrugs. “Well, I’m pregnant. Liam and I are going to have a child.”

And suddenly, everything stops. He doesn’t hear the pharmacist call for who’s next, can’t hear as Sophia repeatedly calls his name.

Why does he care?

He shouldn’t care; he told himself not to. He has Niall now.

Why can’t he be happy?

Why won’t Liam let him be happy?

By now a crowd has formed around him, as people shout and ask him if he’s alright.

_The minute any little thing happens that can cause you to revert into lovesick, broken-hearted Zayn_

His eyes widen at the thought and he pushes past everyone, rushing towards the exit, into his car, and back to Louis’s apartment.

He ignores Louis asking where the prescription is, walks right by Harry holding a plate of cookies out to him. He slams his door shut and sits in the corner, breathing heavily. Louis’s practically slamming on his door, but he blocks that out, blocks out everything around him.

Tears are falling fast by now and he finds himself rocking back and forth. “S-Stop crying,” he whispers to himself. “S-Stop i-it.”

But he doesn’t. He can’t, not when it’s Liam. And _god_ why does it always have to be Liam?

He doesn’t matter.

_He doesn’t matter!_

But he does… He matters most, and Zayn knows it.

His phone vibrates several times next to him; he looks over, eyes still blurred with tears.

****_Missed call: Ni x :)_ ** **

****_From: Ni x :)_ ** **

_louis told me to check on ya, u alrite? answer ur phone love_

The first feeling that courses through Zayn is disappointment. He’d been stupid to think it was finally Liam, checking up on him after weeks of silence. The second feeling is disgust. Niall’s always been there for him, why can’t he be enough? Why won’t Zayn let him be enough?

His phone vibrates several more times, but Zayn tosses it aside, deciding on lying down on his bed and closing his eyes.

When he sleeps he dreams of a place where he doesn’t have to feel like this anymore.

The next day is a rough morning; his mouth is incredibly dry, as are his cheeks from the tears that dried themselves up overnight. He sits up and rubs his eyes. He notices his phone far off in the corner of his room.

_Niall._

He rushes over to it and grabs it scrolling through every missed message from last night.

****_Missed calls (12): Ni x :)_ ** **

****_From: Ni x :)_ ** **

_ok now im worried whats wrong?_

****_From: Ni x :)_ ** **

_zayn please answer me tell me ur ok_

****_From: Ni x :)_ ** **

_was it me? did i do something? Please tell me so i can make it ok… please…_

****_From: Ni x :)_ ** **

_whatever it is im sorry zayn.. just don’t shut me out not like this…_

****_From: Ni x :)_ ** **

_im so sorry….._

That feeling… where you’d do anything to make the one you love happy, to the point that when they’re not, you think it’s your fault because you weren’t trying hard enough. You need to try harder. They’re like that because of you.

He made Niall feel that way… the same way Liam made him feel it.

He gets up, running to his bathroom and brushing his teeth as he puts on a new set of clothes. He ignores his phone 5% remaining battery notice, ignores Louis perk up at the sight of him, ready to ask him what the hell happened. He hurries out of the door and into his car, beginning to drive to the address he had memorized when Niall gave him that slip of paper.

He calls him right away, tries not to cry at the fact that it goes straight to voicemail after a few rings.

“I’m headed over right now. It’s my fault you’re feeling bad, and I need to be there. I’d never want you to feel like that because you mean a lot to me, Ni. You might have doubts sometimes about my feelings towards you, and I get it because I’m not sure what I feel yet either, but all I know is that I’d never want to lose you; you’re important to me, and you always will be. I’m sorry…” He hangs up before the machine cuts him off.

Louis was right.

But maybe Zayn was right, too.

If he tried hard enough, his feelings for Liam would surely turn into feelings for Niall. He’s already learning from Liam’s mistakes and trying to make it right with Niall. That has to count for something, he knows it does.

And he’s so busy thinking everything over and over again, that he doesn’t notice a black car run a red light until it crashes right into him.


	21. The After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> where we see what happens after the car hits zayn

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heyo! thank you for all the lovely kudos and comments! hope you guys enjoy this one :)

“Hurry up, babe! The appointment’s in 20 minutes!” Sophia shouts. She’s standing in front of their entrance, rubbing her barely showing baby-bump, as she waits for Liam to finish getting dressed.

Liam pulls on his coat; the sound of rain pounding against his apartment is enough to make him reach for an umbrella. “I’ll be there in a minute!” he replies. He flips off the covers on his bed and is relieved to find his lost phone. The blue light in the corner is shining, indicating he has a missed message.

As soon as he sees he has one missed phone call, his eyebrows furrow, confused as to who would call him. He brings his cellphone to his ear and listens intently as his voicemail begins relaying the message.

“H-Hello?” a distraught Zayn says through the speaker.

“I’m uhh… I-I need help—” Liam can hear a bit of shuffling over the phone before a loud groan escapes Zayn’s mouth.

“I’m by t-the park… O-On Fourth Street, and I—”

The message immediately ends and Liam’s quick to call Zayn right back. He’s panicking slightly, as the call goes straight to voicemail. Zayn’s phone probably ran out of battery, which is why his message was short and cut off. And he’s worried now because Zayn could be trapped somewhere or a gun could be pointed at his head and he’s alone and afraid and…

And Liam really needs to be there.

He rushes out of his room with wide eyes and mouth agape as he pants slightly.

“What’s wrong with you?” Sophia asks.

“Zayn’s in trouble,” he replies. He’s already pushing past Sophia, grabbing his keys, and eager to find Zayn.

Sophia grabs at his arm, stopping him. “I get my results today. I can’t do this alone, Liam. You promised me, remember?”

“Yeah, but Zayn called me—”

“Oh, he called you? If he were in trouble, wouldn’t the next logical step be to phone 9-9-9? He’s just trying to get your attention like a little baby. I need you, Liam.” Tears start to prick at the corner of her eyes and she sniffles. “I-I… I might have cancer.”

Liam gulps and looks away from her. Zayn could’ve called 999, she’s right about that, but something about Zayn calling him instead made Liam want to run straight to him.

“Look, Zayn’s got Louis, Harry, and Niall. I only have you…” She walks up to him and caresses his cheek. “And I wouldn’t have it any other way, okay? Just text Niall and he’ll take care of it.”

And even through all the horrible scenarios going through Liam’s mind about where Zayn could be, Liam can’t bring himself to leave Sophia, not when she’s looking at him with an anxiety-ridden look Liam had never seen before. Sophia’s at her most vulnerable, and Liam can’t leave her.

He takes a deep breath and nods. “Alright, let me send Niall a quick text.”

She smiles brightly in return. “I’ll meet you in the car.”

As she walks away, Liam brings his phone out and sends a message to Niall.

****_To: Niall H._ ** **

_zayns in trouble. by the park on 4 th street. go quickly pls_

He just really hopes this works.

.

.

.

His vision is a bit blurry, but he hears it: the sound of tires screeching. The car that had hit him, his only chance, had rushed off, probably trying to avoid paying for anything. Blood’s trickling down his face, no doubt from a head wound, and his arm is _throbbing_ in pain.

He looks around and realizes his car was hit with enough force to push it on its right side. He’s against the side window and stuck in front of the driver’s seat, with his arm caught in between the side of his car and the seat, now bent from the force of the impact. There’s a crack in the middle of his windshield, and he looks to his side and sees the passenger door caved in, hanging on by a thread, and he thinks he can try and kick it off, but he knows that’s risking the chance of it falling in and hitting him, making his situation much worse.

Rain falls through the cracks of the door and lightly hits Zayn’s face.

“Hello?!” he shouts. “Can anyone hear me?! I need help!”

He waits a few minutes, and still no response.

It’s just his luck, getting in a car wreck at nine in the morning while it’s raining so not a soul is in sight, everyone tucked away in their homes sleeping or avoiding the rain.

He can feel his phone, but the problem is he can feel it with the arm that’s stuck, so it’s hidden behind the bent seat, Zayn unable to see it. He stretches his fingers, wincing at every movement, enough so that he gets a good grip on his phone.

He’s thankful he hadn’t put a password in as he unlocks his phone with a swift movement of his finger. At this point, he’s pressing whatever he can, hoping to reach the keypad and dial 9-9-9. His fingers immediately stop at the sound of dialing.

Had he done it? Successfully dialed the emergency number?

“ _Please leave your message for—”_

“Fucking hell!” he curses. Not only had he missed the emergency number, but the person he had dialed hadn’t even bothered to answer their phone.

The door above him begins to creak, and that’s enough to get him sweating. He wipes away the excess blood that's starting to get in his eye and takes a deep, shaky breath, ready to begin talking as soon as the familiar tone is heard.

“H-Hello?” he asks, eyes carefully scanning over the car door. If it caves in, he’s screwed.

“I’m uhh… I-I need help—” He tries to move his body enough so that he can clearly see out of the windshield, but lets out a loud groan at the sudden pain coursing through his arm. He isn’t able to see much, but the park not too far from him is enough.

“I’m by t-the park… O-On Fourth Street, and I—”

And then it happens: his phone dies.

“Fuck! Fucking fuck!” Zayn kicks the dashboard in anger, and immediately regrets it as soon as the door begins creaking again.

He’s stuck, blood’s trickling down his face again, he’s alone, and he’s starting to feel dizzy all over again. His eyelids start to feel heavy, and he just knows he has to stay awake to avoid the chance of falling into a coma.

So he starts counting.

_1, 2, 3, 4_

Smoke starts emitting from the hood of his car, and Zayn’s pulse begins to race because, while that can mean nothing, there’s also a possibility that Zayn’s minutes away from death. But he just feels _so_ tired.

_78, 79, 80, 81_

The door begins to move ever so slightly and continues to rasp loudly. And Zayn’s body becomes limp, as his eyes begin to slowly close.

_130, 131, 132, 133_

A loud banging against his car causes Zayn to jerk awake. Someone’s calling his name; his head’s killing him and his vision is blurry, but he hears it.

“I’m here! I’m i-in here!” he screams as loud as he can.

And then someone’s tearing the car door right off, the sound of a loud clash echoing as they throw it aside, the rain hitting Zayn harder at the now open space above him.

Someone climbs on top of his car, and then they’re peeking their head through the ginormous hole in Zayn’s car.

And there he is: Zayn’s savior, drenched in rain and panting heavily, staring at him with wide, panicked eyes, but still some sort of relief in them at the sight of seeing Zayn okay, alive.

_Liam._


	22. The Hero Turned Villain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> someone isn't exactly what others believe them to be

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for all the comments and kudos! im so happy this story is doing so well, and im glad you guys like it so much! i appreciate all of you, and once again, thank you x. hope you enjoy <3

_Too bright._

An incredibly illuminated room blinds his vision as his eyes flutter open. He’s almost certain he’s made his way into heaven, until he’s able to spot a familiar blond haired male seated right next to him, fast asleep with tiredness etched on to his features.

His right arm sits uncomfortably on his chest, stuck in a cast and wrapped up securely in a sling. The light throbbing he feels in his head causes Zayn to reach up, finger tips ghosting over a bandage placed on the side of his head.

Zayn attempts to sit up, groaning with every movement. It’s like he’s unfamiliar with his body, as if he hasn’t been able to use it in a while.

The slight rustling of the bed sheets causes Niall to stir and awaken, sitting up immediately at the sight of Zayn upright and conscious. “Holy shit…” the blond gets up and rushes out of the room, shouting for a nurse, doctor, anything.

It takes about twenty minutes for the nurse to examine Zayn, making sure nothing vital was lost in the accident he’s anxious to ask about.

Once the nurse disappears and Zayn’s left alone with his thoughts, Niall joins him soon after. He takes a seat in the cushiony chair next to Zayn’s hospital bed and grabs his hand, tears beginning to form at the corner of his soft, blue eyes. “You got a concussion. They weren’t sure when you’d wake up, but it’s been four days. I was so fucking scared, Zayn—”

“Liam?” Zayn blurts out, ignoring the fact he'd been stuck in a slumber for four days. He remembers seeing him before abruptly passing out as soon as their eyes met.

Niall’s taken aback by the sudden mention of his friend’s name. “What?”

“Is… Is he here?” He looks over towards the doorway, half-expecting to see the mentioned male stood there with get-well balloons and flowers in his hands.

“No?” Niall tilts his head, in an almost dog-like manner, and gives Zayn a look of confusion. “I haven’t heard from him in a while. I don’t think you have, either.”

Zayn’s eyebrows furrow. Had Liam saved him then ran off? “What do you mean? He saved me; he’s the one who pulled me out of my car.”

“Zayn…” Niall’s grip becomes a bit tighter on Zayn’s hand, and he frowns. “That was me.”

And before Zayn can protest, swearing he looked into a pair of brown eyes he’s absolutely familiar with, Louis barges into his room (Harry trailing right behind him), dropping a plastic bag which probably contains food, and rushing onto Zayn’s bed. He jumps on top of Zayn, nearly knocking him over, wrapping his arms tight around him and burying his head in the crook of Zayn’s neck. “You fucking piece of shit, don’t you scare me like that ever again! I thought I lost you…” he whispers the last part. He can feel a slight wetness against his neck, no doubt tears coming from his best friend, who's clinging tightly on to him, as if his life depended on it.

“Louis,” Zayn croaks, groaning in pain. “That hurts.”

Louis quickly lets go and gets off of Zayn, gasping and wiping away at his teary eyes. “Sorry, sorry, sorry!”

Zayn chuckles, shaking his head. “It’s fine, Lou. So what happened?”

“Ooh!” Harry exclaims, raising his hand and waving it wildly in the air. “Pick me, pick me!”

“Yes… Harry?” Zayn begins to wonder how Louis can deal with him all the time.

“You got into a wreck.”

“I meant after—”

With a roll of his eyes, Louis’s quick to interrupt. “I’m not sure what happened. I just got a call from Niall saying you were in the hospital, that he found you stuck in your car, which is absolutely destroyed by the way, and pulled you out in time.”

Niall nods along with the explanation. “Your car caught on fire as soon as I pulled you out; it was really bad, Zayn.”

“Are you sure Liam wasn’t there, at least?” He can’t help but ask. He could’ve sworn he had seen him, could’ve sworn Liam saved him.

“Liam?” Louis questions; his mouth turns downward into a frown and his usually bright, blue eyes fill with pity. “Zayn, I’ve called him thousands of times, left him messages about what happened and where you were. He hasn’t showed up at all, and he’s never bothered to reply…”

“I thought I…” Zayn trails off and looks away. Had it been his subconscious? Had he been so desperate to see Liam finally worry about him in the slightest sense that he envisioned Liam instead of Niall? Then he realizes it couldn’t have been Liam because Liam stopped caring about him a long time ago.

Niall places his hand on his shoulder and gives it a small squeeze. “S’alright, you were absolutely bloody when I reached ya. M’not surprised you pictured someone you’ve been wanting to see for a while.”

“Okay enough of Liam!” Louis exclaims; he rushes over to the forgotten bag and lifts it up high for everyone to see. “Let’s eat! I brought food from Nandos.”

And it’s all laugh and smiles as they all eat together, everyone happy that Zayn’s awake and healthy, but even through the persistent happiness that’s radiating around him, Zayn still notices the pain taking residence within his heart because a certain brown-haired wide-eyed male isn’t there with him.

.

.

.

It’s hard to hide his recent depression, even with Niall being at his beck and call, catering to his needs and helping him change his clothes and head bandage. Niall’s noticed it, too, he knows he has, the way his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes whenever Niall cracks a joke, the way he pushes his food around his plate more than he actually eats it, how anxious he gets when he gets a message or a phone call, picking his cellular device up with trembling hands, because what if it’s Liam? What will he say?

And Niall tries his hardest, he does, puts on Zayn’s favorite music, massages Zayn’s shoulders when he feels the raven-haired male becomes too tense, forces him to go out with him, maybe catch a movie or get a bite to eat.

But it’s never enough. He sometimes thinks he should send Zayn back to Louis, maybe Zayn’s oldest friend would know him better, be able to do what Niall can’t.

Then he shakes his head away from those thoughts, Zayn needs him more than anyone. He’s helping him in a way that no one else can.

His phone vibrates several times as soon as he thinks that. Blue eyes read over the few messages and he frowns.

****_From: Li_ ** **

_is he ok? please answer my messages i NEED to know_

****_From: Li_ ** **

_im worried about him Ni please. i wish i could see him. are u sure its best if i dont?_

****_From: Li_ ** **

_nvm ur right, course ur right… its my fault. im glad u were there. just please let me know i cant take not knowing PLEASE_

He shuts his phone off and tosses it aside. Zayn’s asleep on the couch and he walks over to him, sitting beside him and running his slender fingers through his soft hair. At times he worries, one day Liam will show up and ruin everything all over again, but then he thinks about what he said that day of Zayn’s wreck, and he knows Liam wouldn’t dare.

_Niall curses to himself as he speeds down the road. He should’ve seen Liam’s text sooner, of all times to step into the shower, why when Zayn needed him most?_

_He pulls over as soon as the park’s in sight, getting out of the car as the rain greets him with open arms, Niall getting soaked in seconds. He heads into the park, looking around, thinking Zayn could’ve been caught in some trouble with a local thug, but everything’s quiet and not a soul is in sight. He’s running around like a headless chicken, and that’s when he sees it: the burning, crashed car on the road nearby, its fire somehow pulling its weight against the harsh rain._

_He rushes over to it, trying to get as close to it as possible without being in danger. “Zayn!” he calls desperately, throat burning as he yells as loud as he can. “ZAYN!”_

_“Niall!”_

_His head whips over to the sound of someone calling his name. He squints through the rain, but he’s still able to see Liam’s blurry figure on the sidewalk with a bleeding, passed out Zayn on his lap. A gasp leaves his mouth and he runs over, falling to his knees and taking Zayn away from him like Liam’s the threat instead of the burning vehicle not too far away. “What did you do?!”_

_Liam’s eyes widen in a panic. “I-I found him like this! I-I-It wasn’t me! I… I saved him!”_

_“No!” Niall yells; he pulls Zayn closer to his body, wondering when on earth an ambulance would arrive. “This was you! He got into this accident because of you! He found out your stupid girlfriend was pregnant, and he lost it! This is all of your fucking fault, Liam!”_

_Liam shakes his head, backing away from the duo in front of him. “No… That’s not—”_

_“You’re destroying him, Liam! He could’ve died, and it’s all because you can’t fucking decide on what you want! We won’t be so lucky next time, Liam,” he spits out, an anger he’s never experienced before coursing through every vein in his body. “Get out of his life! Don’t call him, text him, see him, don’t even tell him you were the one who saved him because it’s just going to have him falling at your knees all over again! And you don’t fucking deserve that because you don’t cherish it! You use him, and that’s why he’s like this! Leave so he can finally forget you!”_

_His tears mix with the rain, but he still feels them, just like he feels every word Niall says pierce his heart. “I-I’m sorry…” He’s not sure why he’s apologizing, or to who, Niall… Maybe Zayn who hasn’t stirred in the slightest during the dispute between them. He reaches over to the unconscious male before him, brushing his hair back, careful not to touch his head injury. The last thing he wants is for Zayn to forget him because he loves having Zayn in his life; the past couple of weeks have been hard, not being able to see him, and he doesn’t know how he’d be able to handle that sadness for the rest of his life, but then he sees the state he’s in and his heart breaks._

_The sirens nearing the trio shake him out of his thoughts. A sob escapes his lips and he nods his head quickly. “O-Okay,” he whispers, voice shaky as the hot tears cascade down his cheeks. He doesn’t want to let go, but he knows he has to; he has to do something for Zayn for once, especially after all Zayn’s done for him. “Okay…”_

Niall remembers Liam running off right after that, only sparing one last glance to Zayn. The paramedics took care of Zayn as soon as they arrived, and now here Zayn is, safe and sound on his couch.

Zayn stirs slowly and looks over at Niall, eyes droopy with exhaustion. “Thank you for saving me,” he mumbles.

Niall smiles in response and continues to brush his finger through his hair, lulling him back to sleep.

A half an hour passes by and Niall gets up, reaching over to his phone and turning it back on. He heads up his staircase and goes inside of his room, shutting the door behind him.

He dials a number on to his phone and waits until a familiar voice greets him on the other end.

“He doesn’t suspect anything, believes I’m the one who saved him, just keep Liam feeling guilty so he stays away, yeah?” Niall can barely pay attention as the other person begins talking in detail about something he couldn’t care less about. “I really don’t care. You stay out of mine and Zayn’s way, and we’ll stay out of yours. Goodbye  _Sophia_.”


	23. The Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> we explore how niall, zayn, and liam met.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this takes place both in past and present, so sorry if the switching of tenses confuses you! also this might be really terrible and i hope you all dont hate me for the trash you're about to read x.x yikes

Niall never liked Sophia.

From the moment he approached her as she watched his every movement, her brown eyes examining him as if she were trying to read his thoughts and emotions, staring deep into his very core. All it took was one bone-crushing hug and a sickly sweet smile for Niall to pull Liam aside, attempting to convince Liam to leave her.

But Liam never listened to him.

Not in primary school when Liam barged into class soaked with rain, after Niall had specifically reminded him to bring an umbrella.

Not in secondary school when Liam ran home crying, coated in paint and feathers caused by a group of bullies Niall warned him not to try to befriend.

And certainly not now as Liam scolds him because how dare he say something about a woman so beautiful and kind, a woman he hasn’t even given a chance to know.

And not a day would go by where Niall wouldn’t plead with Liam to find someone better, but Sophia knew, she knew of Niall’s resentment towards her. And whenever she saw Liam showing doubt as Niall’s words rang through his head, she’d meet him the very next day with breakfast in bed or a surprise road trip to get him away from Niall. Sophia was smart and knew just how to get Liam wrapped around her finger all over again after Niall’s failed attempts at prying him away.

Niall hated being right when it came to Liam. A couple of weeks into Liam and Sophia’s relationship, he saw her all over a man he’d come to find out was named Andy. Niall and Sophia locked eyes, and Sophia hung her head low in defeat, as if they were in some competition over Liam and Niall just drew the winning card.

So the next day Niall came over, movies and snacks in hand, ready to comfort his long-time friend once he told him the truth, but when he stepped inside, he was met with an empty apartment. A note on the fridge read “ _Sophia and I are going on a trip. Won’t be here the whole weekend. Fridge just filled, so eat whatever you want! –Liam”_. He didn’t think too much of it at first; Sophia was only prolonging the inevitable. Thinking back on it now, maybe he should’ve just texted the news to Liam, instead of assuming it was something to be told face-to-face.  _I’ll tell him when he comes back_ , he thought.

But then he met Zayn.

****_To: Li :)_ ** **

_ya back yet?_

****_From: Li :)_ ** **

_jus walked in ! come over !!!_

A sort of sad smile made its way onto Niall’s face; he was happy to see his old friend again, but he knew how hard Liam would take the devastating news of Sophia’s infidelity. His fingers were quick as they began to type ‘ _see ya soon’,_  but his body crashed into something else, causing him to lose his grip on his cellphone.

Upon looking down in search of his phone, he realized he hadn’t crashed into something, but rather someone. A man, with raven-colored hair, sat on the floor in front of Niall, rubbing his head and reaching over to grab Niall’s phone. “Shit,” Niall cursed. He reached down to help the man he had essentially knocked over, and just as an apology was at the tip of his tongue, he gasped as the beautiful man looked up and peered at him with piercing hazel-eyes. “Hi,” he blurted out.

The raven-haired fellow merely raised his eyebrow as he took hold of Niall’s hand and helped himself up. “Gotta say, mate, I was expecting an ‘I’m sorry’, that’s a new one,” he replied sheepishly, handing Niall’s phone back to him.

Niall chuckled. “Sorry. How about I buy ya a cup of coffee to make up for my impoliteness?”

“You’re lucky I’m quite the addict when it comes to caffeine.” He extended his hand for a handshake. “Zayn.”

Niall eagerly gripped onto Zayn’s hand and instantly enjoyed the way it felt. “Niall.”

The longer the two of them spoke, the more infatuated Niall found himself to be with the gorgeous man seated in front of him. A handsome man, he’d come to find, with an equally beautiful personality.

The bell above the local coffee shop door chimed as a customer made their way inside. Niall completely ignored it, leaning forward, cheek rested against the palm of his hand as he listened intently to Zayn’s story about his best friend, Louis, hanging onto every word that escaped his luscious lips.

“And after this bloody bloke embarrasses me in front of the damn professor, he still has the audacity to—”

“Niall?!”

Wait, he knew that voice. He looked over at the familiar man standing in front of their booth. “Liam?”

“Where’ve you been? I’ve tried ringing you loads of times. Soph wanted some coffee so I stopped by. Didn’t expect to see you here.”

Meeting Zayn had made him completely forget why he ran into him in the first place; he was on his way to Liam’s to tell him the news. “Shit, that’s right. I’ve gotta tell you something in private, mate.”

“Yeah, sure, anythin’ but…” Liam trailed off and looked over to Zayn, who now found his lap to be the most interesting thing in the entire place. “Who’s this?”

He looked over at the beauty sitting in front of him, but he was still staring intently at his lap. He ignored his sudden odd behavior and grinned. “Sorry, this is Zayn. Zayn, this is Liam.”

Liam reached toward him for a handshake and smiled brightly. “Nice to meet you.”

Zayn reluctantly looked up and his cheeks immediately reddened at the sight of Liam’s warm smile. He was quick to give Liam a handshake and once again found interest in his lap. “Y-You, too,” he stuttered.

It didn’t take a genius to read the situation and understand why Zayn had an abrupt change of attitude. He hastily stood up and yanked on Liam’s wrist to leave the moment he realized why Zayn was acting weirdly. “Listen, Liam, I’ve really gotta tell ya this… this thing—”

Liam pried Niall’s hand off and stopped the blond from leaving. “Hold on, we can’t just leave your new friend.” He turned to Zayn and smiled, yet again causing Zayn’s cheeks to turn a barely noticeable pink. “How about I give you a lift home?”

“I, erm, kind of don’t live around here.” Zayn rubbed the back of his head, messing up his raven-colored locks, but somehow making it work in his favor, causing Niall to swoon.

“Pardon?”

“I was lookin’ ‘round for a new flat, before Niall bumped into me. There’s a university nearby, and so I’ve been trying to move here for quite some time now… This is sort of the last day I get to sleep in my old flat.”

“Well…” Liam sat down across from Zayn, smile still shining as he looked at him. “What would you say to living with me and the missus?”

“You… have a girlfriend?”

Niall bit his lip harshly. “Liam, I don’t think he’d want to—”

He ignored Niall and continued to try and convince Zayn. “I know it’s not ideal, but we have a spare room if you really need a place to stay. She just moved her things into my room. I already think you’re a pretty great bloke, and I’d love to get to know you better. I’m sure Niall would, too. What do you say?”

And Niall repeatedly played an onset of ‘please say no’s’ inside his head, even as Zayn nodded his head yes. Even as they all got inside of Liam’s car and drove off. Even as they stepped inside of Liam’s apartment. Even as Liam gave Zayn a ‘grand tour’ and showed him where he’d be staying.

Sophia watched from the kitchen, enjoying a cup of tea and examining the interaction between the three males inside of her living room. Her eyes found Niall’s, and she smiled, that same sickly-sweet smile the moment they met.

Niall was good at reading situations, reading people, but Sophia was better. He knew she had already discovered the unfortunate love-triangle in its early stages between all of them. He looked over at Zayn and Liam speaking to one another, Zayn making it incredibly obvious as he laughed at everything that escaped Liam’s mouth.

‘ _I think I’m going to be sick.’_ He excused himself and made his way towards the bathroom. A freshly manicured hand stopped the door from closing all the way. Sophia shimmied her way inside and closed the door behind her. “You like him,” she said, beginning to circle around Niall inside of the tightly enclosed bathroom, like a predator trapping its prey. “But unfortunately for you, he likes Liam. Straight out of a shitty romance movie, innit?”

“I don’t know where yer sick mind is going with this, but I’m still telling Liam, you fucking piece of shit.”

She gasped and placed a hand over her chest. “Nialler, I’m only trying to help you.” She waggled her finger in front of his face. “There’s no need for name calling.” She sat on the bathroom sink and pinched Niall’s cheeks, forcing him to face her. “Poor Liam, he’s going to be so devastated and heartbroken, so vulnerable. He’s going to need to rely on someone, isn’t he? And you can’t be here every hour of every day. So who could he possibly turn to during this desperate time of need? You’re his only friend, and he’d be here all alone— Oh wait. Zaynie just moved in. Maybe he wouldn’t be alone, hm?”

He forcefully pushed her hands off and glared. “Get to the fucking point, Sophia.”

She sneered at him and scoffed. “Your little boyfriend becomes Liam’s ‘oh so brilliant’ savior. And Liam, being his pathetic, clingy self, would eat that up in a heartbeat. Before you know it, those two are fucking like rabbits. And you’ll be all alone in your little house, continuing to rely on ol’ lefty.” She clasped her hands together and smiled. “So my proposition? Don’t tell Liam. You get that pretty boy all to yourself, and Liam continues to be happy with me, sound fair?”

He was seething at this point, angry at the blatant manipulation Sophia was trying to pull on him. But even through the anger, he knew Sophia had a point. He wouldn’t use her exact words, but Liam wore his heart on his sleeve. He threw around the word ‘love’ like the meaning behind it wasn’t as big as society made it out to be. And dammit, it wasn’t fair. He had met Zayn first, he had seen him first. He cursed to himself under his breath and stared into Sophia’s cold, brown eyes. “The moment Zayn and I get together, I’m tellin’ him.”

Her freezing hand patted the top of his head lightly as a shit-eating grin made its way on to her make-up coated face. “Whatever helps you sleep at night,” she said before leaving the bathroom, the grin not once leaving her face.

At that point, he should’ve known she knew Niall would never grow the balls to ask Zayn out and would only watch helplessly as Zayn grew more and more in love with Liam. Months went by, and months eventually turned into a year; a year turning into two.

Sophia’s exit even caught him by surprise. He figured it had something to do with Andy, maybe she got bored of Liam. Niall stopped feeling guilty a long time ago. Along with Zayn’s ever-growing infatuation, came Niall’s resentment toward Liam. Then he began to hear of Zayn’s wingman stories, and he could clearly see the toll Liam’s ignorance was taking on Zayn. And the bitterness inside him only grew because here Liam had an amazing guy who would stop at nothing to make him happy, but all Liam could do was hurt him and use him. Niall would give anything in the world to have Zayn look at him the way he looked at Liam. And so he confessed, and sure they spent the night together, a night Niall would never forget, but he still didn’t look at Niall the way he looked at Liam.

“ _I have another proposition for you,”_  she told him over the phone one day.

And there was so much hate and bitterness inside of him that he could never blame on Zayn. So he pushed it all toward Liam. “ _I’ll take it,”_  he said without so much as a second thought.

_“Good.”_

And now here he sits, on the couch of Louis’s apartment, as he waits for Louis and Zayn to come back from picking his phone up after they found it in the front seat of his destroyed car. He has his own phone placed tightly to his ear as a voicemail rings through it.

“ _—because I’m not sure what I feel yet either, but all I know is that I’d never want to lose you; you’re important to me, and you always will be. I’m sorry.”_ He tosses his phone across the room, ignoring the sickening crack noise it emits. Sure, Liam had been at fault for Zayn’s crash, but Niall had been, too. At least Liam isn’t lying to him and teaming up with someone Zayn hates more than anyone else. He’s not sure how long he can keep this up. But if Zayn had found out he had anything to do with Sophia, and what emotional torture he’s been putting Liam through…

He’d never speak to him again.

“Niall!” Zayn calls as he enters the small apartment, Louis not too far behind him. His eyes meets Zayn’s, and Niall smiles immediately. Zayn doesn’t return the gesture, but keeps the same, confused look he was sporting since he walked inside Louis’s place.

“Alright?” Niall asks, getting up and grabbing a hold of Zayn’s warm hand.

“Yeah, s’just….”

“What is it, babe? Yer arm okay?”

He nods and smiles sheepishly before frowning. “I checked my call history, and the last person I called was Liam, not you… So it’s been bothering me how you knew where to find me—“

Niall ignores Zayn as he continues to talk about what happened. Louis looking at him with judging eyes, of course he would. And of course Zayn would continue to mention Liam, even after all he’s done for him to help him feel comfortable. Why is it always Liam? He thinks back to how this whole thing started and gets the best idea he’s had in a while. He’d make Zayn forget about Liam. He promised himself that.

“Never mind all that, Zee. Aren’t ya tired of living here and having to deal with Louis and Harry?”

“Hey!”

“Sorry, Louis, I meant more like Zayn bein’ a third wheel to whatever you and Harry have.”

Zayn furrows his eyebrows. “What does that have anything to do with what I’m talking about?”

“Move in with me,” Niall pleads, staring into the hazel eyes he knows and loves.

“W-What?”

“You know I’ve plenty of room. Ya wouldn’t even need to pay rent, just save up for Uni.” He grips onto Zayn’s hand a little tighter. “I want this, to be with you, be there for you. Please, Zayn.”

He can see the uncertainty in Zayn’s eyes as they search every inch of Niall’s face. His eyes grow watery just thinking about the possible rejection he might face. That’s enough to have Zayn sigh and nod. “Okay… Yeah.”

“Y-Yeah?”

“Yes. Let’s do it.”

Niall laughs and embraces Zayn in a tight hug, careful not to press too hard on Zayn’s injured arm.

This was his chance to a new start. Zayn would never choose Liam over him again. He’d make sure of it.


End file.
